how can i politely tell my grandmother to shut up with her preaching?

Question

my family has been brought up in the lutheran denomination for many years. i announced in september to my family that i was changing denominations in the Christian faith. from lutheran to non-denominitial. i told her my beliefs and since then she's been telling me i'm wrong. and her attitude is the classic one. i should only stand up for what i believe in if its what she believes in. i love her dearly, but i won't back down. how can i politely tell my grandmother to back off, politely becuz i don't wanna be mean about it.

Answer 1

"Granny, I love you and I respect you. But I have made a choice for my faith and life, and I need you to respect that. Show me that you love me by respecting this choice."

Now, if there is something WRONG with the non-denominational church you have selected, then that is an entirely different question. However, if your church is teaching the Bible as God's word, and if you cannot see anything in their statement of faith that is wrong, then stand your ground, affirming your Granny of your love for her.

Answer 2

You're right, this is a tough situation. On the one hand, she's your grandmother and you obviously wish to honor and respect her; on the other hand, you have the right to believe what you wish.

I think you should sit her down in a quiet place with no interruptions. Start the conversation by telling her how much you love and respect her. Then explain that you've come to believe differently. Tell her it's not as if you're unsaved: you still believe in Jesus and the significance of His sacrifice, etc., etc. Remind her that it's not the teaching of Martin Luther that saves either of you -- it's the teaching of Jesus Christ, whom you still desire to follow. You may also want to remind her (unless it would start an argument) that Jesus commanded us not to cling to sectarianism (see Mark 9:38-41, Luke 9:49-50) and Paul taught that sectarianism is a sin (see 1 Cor. 1:10-17 and 1 Cor. 3:1-4).

If she doesn't get the message, I'd advise you to treat her with love and humility; she is your elder and deserving of your respect. Simply say nothing and let your righteousness shine like a light; if you engage in sniping remarks or unrighteous retorts, this will defile the Holy Spirit that's in you.

Brother, I wish you peace.

Answer 3

I know this is going to sound awful, but here's the facts:

GRANDmother. Meaning, this woman has been around forever, and will always think her way is right. I mean, her opinions are at least 60 years carved into her mind. Sorry to break it to you, but no matter how much you try to convince her, Grandma will not change her opinion. The best you can do is say "Ohkay, Grandma," and play some Monopoly. You can keep your beliefs with causing confrontation. Eventually, she'll either accept that you've decided to be your own person, or she'll kick it and just forget you in her will. Either way, you'll have your religion. Just don't let an argument like this create a rift with your family. Life is too short.

Answer 4

And the best answer goes to...... Sandy.

Out of my great weakness, I have several times told my grandmother to shut up literally.

What I have learned from my heated encounters with her is that you can't change the minds of people that have only looked at life in 1 way their entire life without any change.

Most Christian denominations, even your non-denominational church, are only different in insignificant ways, not irreconcilable ways like the differences between Christianity and Judaism or Islam.

Knowing this, your dispute with your grandmother is most likely about something else deep down, even though it appears to be about religion at the surface.

Jesus said He came not to unite like His Jewish kin wanted, but to divide, even within the most closely knit institution of humanity - the family.

At this point in your relationship with your grandmother, you must simply let your actions do the talking, as St. Francis said, "Preach the Gospel at all times, and when necessary use words."

Answer 5

If you truly believe in what your doing is right, tell her just that. It's not that your telling her what she's doing is wrong. Look up Lutheran on line print it out and show your grandmother that your goal is the same as hers. Out of 2.1 billion Christians 4% of them are Lutherans, sounds like you need to educate her a bit. But just show her she maybe upset that you don't need/want to be a part of organized religion but your goals are the same.

Answer 6

We have had the same problem withn our families. We tried to be a good testimony with our lives and after some (3) years they aknowledged that we were strong in the faith, even we are not in the same church. So living as a good follower of Christ would be do moore than wordfights, I thing.
God bless you - and your grandma too. Don't forget to pray for her, I'm sure, she prayes for you.

Answer 7

I used to have a similar discussion with my grandmother. She was a Methodist and I am an unbeliever. We discussed firmly but politely, and neither converted the other (that wasn't my intention, anyway) but I learnt about her religion. And she learnt to respect my decision, even though till the day she died, she never liked it.

BTW, neither of us ever used the expression 'shut up' to address each other.

Answer 8

Tell her that everyone has to find God in their own way and that no one can instill even one iota of true faith in anybody else.
And that if God had wanted her to 'be God's right hand person' to indoctrinate you to this true faith, God would not have made so many humans trying to convert each other. This only leads to confuse the faith issue period for all of us. Tell her how much you LOVE her and respect her, give her specific reasons why and ask her to please try and understand this point.

Answer 9

Deuteronomy 13:6-8:
"If your very own brother, or your son or daughter, or the wife you love, or your closest friend secretly entices you, saying, 'Let us go and worship other gods' (gods that neither you nor your fathers have known, gods of the peoples around you, whether near or far, from one end of the land to the other), do not yield to him or listen to him. Show him no pity. Do not spare him or shield him."

Answer 10

Be sure you tell her how much you respect her--and her beliefs. Tell her that you are who you are because of her influence and good examples. Assure her that you still believe in the same God she does, then ask her to respect and trust your own approach to worship. You're both on the same path. Good luck!