I have known this guy for almost 11 months from work now and we began dating like 3 months ago. He's a single parent with one little girl. He tells me he really cares for me and he want us to take it one day as a time because he knows he has messed up with others in the past and he wants to do it right this time. I know he is busy with work and his family and taking care of his girl, but I just want to spend time with him, is that wrong? He told me he will find some way to make it work between me and him. But sometimes when I called him, he will take a while to call back and sometimes I feel like he doesn't care, which I did tell him that and he told me that he does really care. I just need some reassurance. He is in his 20's. Is there something wrong with me? Am I wanting too much from him? What should I do? I don't want to make him feel like I'm always nagging him. I guess I just want some more attention from him. Please help me out.
pls no pervert ans. I would like sincere advice
2006-11-12 06:16:25 · 13 answers · asked by Looking4Answers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My honest opinion is, if you truly want to go further with this guy, you're going to have to do it more or less on his terms for right now. He has a full plate, and if you push him much, you'll lose him. I think he cares about you, but you want MORE, and you want it RIGHT now......if you continue, he's gone! Good Luck!
2006-11-12 06:27:59 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there! It sounds like you are having a bit of a dependancy issue with your boyfriend. What are you describing is a common occurance, but it is not healthy. Your boyfriend will get tired of having to reasure you and needing to always be there when he cannot. He probably does want to be in a relationship, you just need to try to be secure with that and find things to do in your spare time when he cannot be with you. Keep yourself busy. Stop obsessing about him or what he is doing, and take care of yourself. You will feel better and your relationship will definately respond positively to this. Try going out with friends more, find a new hobby (photography? music? even cleaning!) - you'll feel better soon. Don't be dependent on anyone, you are truly the only person who can make yourself happy. If you do give him some space and you take more time for yourself, and things don't get better, then I would suggest asking him why he isn't giving you enough attention... but right now it seems like he is giving you all that he can at this moment, and that he has made that clear with you. Try to respect his space. Things will get better. Ok ?
Take care of yourself!
-laura
2006-11-12 06:23:01 · answer #2 · answered by totoro 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.... if he didn't care about you, then he wouldn't ever call you back right? he is giving you attention. maybe you are wanting more than you really need. he sounds like a busy man.. kid, work, and LOVE. im very sure he loves you. you can show it to him in som ways. taking him out on walks by the beach during the sunset, dinner under the moon. just show hi that you care and he will do the same
2006-11-12 06:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by HUSTLiN' Babii 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think what you are feeling is very normal....to want to spend some time with someone you like...and have some attention. The important thing is that you dont put your life on hold and let your actions hinge on his....Live your life,make day to day decisions, etc. that you would if he were not in the picture...dont chase him...Let things take a natural course. If there is something to be ....it will happen. Dont try to make it happen....If you try to force him to give more than he can or is willing to at this time....he may opt out totally....Give it time.......be patient.....what is meant to be will be............Good Luck..
2006-11-12 06:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by Lrn'dTheHardWay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry too much about it. Sounds to me like he's just busy. What I would do is set up a date with just the two of you on a Saturday, or Sunday. Go on a picnic for lunch, then do an activity that both of you like, after that, go out to dinner at a romantic restruant. (it doesn't have to be expensive, just nice) Have fun being together and talk about lots of subjects. Esp, his child. If you love him, then you have to love his kid. Good luck!
2006-11-12 06:24:54 · answer #5 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wanting too much of him,because in a relationship you have to communicate and spend time to get to know a person. Why dont you help him with the stuff that he does and while you guys are doing that stuff you could talk?
2006-11-12 06:19:40 · answer #6 · answered by Haley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorta in the same situation with this girl from work..we've been talking and messin around for about 4 months now.. at times she shows me alot of attention..but outside of work..I barely get any..unless its the day after we have sex.. she too tells me she cares about me alot..at times I call her..no answer...I text her..no answer... I see her at work again..she acts like I never called or text her....I felt like I was nagging her too...I care for her alot...just like you must care for him alot too... we just want attention from them...if they truly cared for us as they say.....wouldn't they want to be around us more as well?? I think I just answered the question for both of us....we dont need them...just kick back and enjoy the moments you have together. He has a little girl...hes young....his time is very well occupied atm...you have to understand that...he'll come around sooner or later if he truly cares about you...just be a little patient....I wish you the best of luck ;) tk
2006-11-12 06:29:18 · answer #7 · answered by alvaretffxi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think you are being selfish. He does on the other hand have a life already with the most important woman in his life his daughter. Obviously she is coming first. Why dont you suggest instead of being alone try it with the daughter and get to know her. The more she likes you and you like her the easier it will be to get into his heart.
2006-11-12 06:19:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him come to you some men aren't very talkative over the phone let him contact you, maybe that will work and if not let him go maybe he is not ready for someone to meet or be in his daughter's life.
2006-11-12 06:23:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well said amber
also he has a child. people love their children more than anything, even their partners who tey had the child with. you either need to be prepared to accept that or move on
2006-11-12 06:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by jimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋