THE MANS GUIDE TO FEMALE ENGLISH
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting! = I've got my period
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and
wallpaper... ..
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of
white
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not
going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game
on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get
used to it
Was that the baby?= Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until
he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that
we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I
need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look
great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
THE ANSWER TO A FEMALE SAYING "WHAT'S WRONG?".....
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain in the butt
I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam
THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy
"I'm tired" = I'm tired
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex
with you
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out
of this
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological
trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you" = Let's have sex now
"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look
any different!
"Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a
deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
with other guys
"I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress
and let's go home!!!
2006-11-12 06:02:46 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
yeah .. the joke is .. that all of this are real m8 ;) :))
2006-11-12 06:04:47 · answer #1 · answered by c g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got a kick out of majority of those. We woman don't always mean different things... at least not all the time... maybe a lot... ok, so we do, 'do what you want.' (use the guide)
2006-11-12 14:11:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha! Guffaw Guffaw!
2006-11-12 14:07:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been married for 24 years (or is it 42?) and you hit everything right on the head.
2006-11-12 14:07:08 · answer #4 · answered by jperk1941 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hecka funny. Thats like 100% true. LOL âº
2006-11-12 14:15:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u kind of under stand both sex but i dissigree with some of the female ones.
2006-11-12 14:09:08 · answer #6 · answered by red_star_56 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought the man to female was funny.
2006-11-12 14:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by mistery person 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, since you know the code you should have no trouble pleasing any more!! LOL
2006-11-12 14:05:42 · answer #8 · answered by akelaamy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um....Real "funny." It's not stereotyping- but I find it offensive.
2006-11-12 14:07:21 · answer #9 · answered by JellybeanQueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha thats a good one LOL
2006-11-12 14:08:12 · answer #10 · answered by Geena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GOOD INFO AT LEAST NOW I KNOW WHAT MY BF MEANS WHEN HE SAYS SOME OF THIS STUFF!!!!
2006-11-12 14:09:01 · answer #11 · answered by starlight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋