A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The barman gives it to him and he gulps in down in one swoop.
"Hey buddy, you must be having it rough. Whats up with you?" says the bartender.
"Well, I got home early from work last night and found my wife and my best friend in bed with each other!"
"Thats terrible pal, the next drink is on the house." So the bartender gives him another triple scotch and again he gulps it down. "If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to your wife?"
"I told her I've had enough and I want a divorce!"
"Good for you! You said the right thing. So what did you say to your best friend?"
"Well, I walked up to him, looked him straight in the eyes and said... ...BAD DOG!"
2nd one
A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"
The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.
"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream."
So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes."
So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.
She said, "You now have 3 wishes."
I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger."
She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!
She then asked, "What will be your second wish?"
I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!"
Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?"
I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"
2006-11-12 05:37:07 · 11 answers · asked by geniuswithU 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
hehe u genious N naughty
2006-11-12 05:58:18 · answer #1 · answered by Pd 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are profound variations between the extreme Heaven and the decrease Heaven. Allegorically, water in the extreme Heaven flows freely (55:50), at a similar time as the water of the decrease Heaven should be pumped out (55:sixty six). Allegorically, the extreme Heaven has all sorts of fruit (55:fifty two), at a similar time as the decrease Heaven has a constrained variety of end result (55:sixty 8). ???? ????? ????? ?????? often translated as "Then which of the advantages of your Lord will you the two deny" is a incorrect translation intently contemplate at right here [55:35] You get bombarded with projectiles of fire and steel, and you won't be able to win. Yusuf Ali On you would be sent (O ye evil ones twain!) a flame of fire (to burn) and a smoke (to choke): no defence will ye have: Pickthal there will be sent, against you the two, warmth of fire and flash of brass, and ye won't escape. Shakir The flames of fire and smoke would be sent on you 2, then you definately heavily isn't waiting to shelter yourselves. Sher Ali There would be sent against you a flame of fire, and molten copper; and you shall not be waiting to assist yourselves. [55:40 3] that's Gehenna that the accountable used to disclaim. neither Jahannum nor bombardment of projectiles/thick smoke/flame of fire can't be a blessing, for this reason the main suitable translations is as follows 55:34 Then, O adult males and girls folk! Which authority of your Lord will you deny? or 55:34 Which of your Lord's marvels are you able to deny?
2016-10-21 23:19:21 · answer #2 · answered by itani 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice ones!
2006-11-12 05:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by venusiaint 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
luved the 2nd one!!
oh and a guy walked into a bar and said "ouch who put that there"
2006-11-12 05:41:40 · answer #4 · answered by ///\oo/\\\ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first one was awful...But I loved the second one!!!
2006-11-12 06:40:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
10/10 on both lol
2006-11-12 05:53:05 · answer #6 · answered by Jess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lol..the second one was funnier though...naughty naughty! LOL!
2006-11-12 06:02:19 · answer #7 · answered by Helena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you naughty naughty boi .....lol funny doe
heard the 1st one areddy
2006-11-12 05:40:51 · answer #8 · answered by oNe.Love. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
funny
2006-11-12 06:08:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't get it (the seccond one)
2006-11-12 05:43:25 · answer #10 · answered by mistery person 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋