My new girlfriend just found out she's pregnant with her ex's kid. It may sound like she cheated on me but it's nothing more than a case of bad timing. She thinks I'm going to end the relationship and I took the opportunity to remain quiet even though I plan on sticking by her and supporting her in every way I can (I don't feel obligated either, she's just a great girl). Unfortunately I feel like I don't have a say in this, if the father of the kid wants to stick around, I DO NOT want to share this experience with him. I want to double check with the masses, am I on the right track or is there something I'm missing or not thinking about?
2006-11-12 05:03:57 · 11 answers · asked by UNLUCKY 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you to all those who have already answered my question. One important detail to mention is that my intent is not to keep the baby from knowing his father. Not wanting to "share the experience" refers to the pregnancy. I understand the baby/father has all the rights in the world to each other.
2006-11-12 06:04:48 · update #1
Look he is gonna be there because it is his baby, but man that's your woman. You've got to compromise and you gotta be there for your woman and that sounds like what you want to do.
2006-11-12 05:11:12 · answer #1 · answered by Tristen T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough call, you know she hasnt cheated so her fidelity is not in question,,it takes a big man to stay with someone who,s children are not his but the same is true if you decide,,in all honesty that you cannot fit the role required,,it is no shameful thing to admit you just are not ready for it.by discussing this with her you are not writing in stone,"this will work out",you do have choices and lets face it,,the baby is a baby and wont remember you if you decide you cannot do this.her and her ex are over so he would not be entitled to just drop by unannnounced,,there would be times arranged and this you should not change,,it is better for the child to have its father even if you dont like it,,you would want the same if your ex found out she were pregnant,the fact her new boyfriend didnt like it would be irrelivant.he may not even bother to visit but the option has to be there.a baby is a life,,you would be there at the birth presumably as she is your girlfriend and would want YOU supporting her,not him,,how you see that baby who knows nothing is down to you,,,if you and her would be together,,for all intents and purposes you would be dad,,you would actually be there,,this doesnt mean you have to shut him out but many step-fathers love their step-children.be honest with yourself and try to judge just how the mother wants it played out,,does she have realistic ideas or ones that are unrealistic,,you have a little time so go into it eyes open and if it happens the dad cap fits,,wear it,,if not,,you havent lied to anyone.
2006-11-12 05:18:41 · answer #2 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first, you've been damaged up with him at the same time as he were given her pregnant so as that area of it really is going to no longer also be interior the equation. in case you've taken him again then you actually ought to take the best with the undesirable and enable flow of all that previous stuff. You all first want to be certain if the newborn is his. If that's not then you actually're operating your self up for no longer something. even if it really is, you want to be certain if he's the form which will do the right element, even if he needs a infant with her or no longer. both one in all them ought to have taken steps to ward off an undesirable being pregnant yet neither of them did, so the outcome is they both should be responsible. in case you agree that transferring away if the newborn is his is the right answer then you actually and he both are really unhappy persons. Now, if this infant on your life is a deal breaker for you, you want to say so now and under no circumstances throw this up anytime you get offended or unhappy. each human being must be adults because an probability free infant is in contact. to boot, what's going to he do once you grow to be pregnant? flow back? If he does, you are able to't be offended with him in case you supported that selection at the same time as it in contact the different woman.
2016-10-16 08:41:24 · answer #3 · answered by pellenz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is the question that you need to ask your girlfriend, tell her what you said here, if the baby"s father will be in the picture? Tell her you are willing to be their for her, but you do not know how to handle him in the picture. Tell her the ball is in her court. and if she says she wants him in the picture, then I guess you need to take the exit!
2006-11-12 05:12:10 · answer #4 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you remaining quiet because you want to see what happens? Maybe you think she'll take him back? If you don't tell her how you feel, she might take him back since she didn't know how you really felt.
2006-11-12 05:09:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her are you willing to sign the birth certificate? If so tell her and maybe he doesn't have to be involved. If not the child deserves a dad and he will probably end up involved
2006-11-12 05:08:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
if thats u r woman and u accepting her baby yet to be born then if the guy wants to be a real father to the child then let him, if u love her u should be intimidated by some guy unless u think he would try something..............................
2006-11-12 05:08:53 · answer #7 · answered by lex1979x 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to truly support your friend, imposing conditions on that support is going to interfere with that.
2006-11-12 05:07:00 · answer #8 · answered by FSJD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check with the masses???
Why dont you check with the people whose opinions really matter... your friends and family.
2006-11-12 05:07:51 · answer #9 · answered by Wedding Crasher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like she was cheating on you from the break you need to move on and try some one new
2006-11-12 05:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋