I just found out that my boyfriend, whom I have a two year old daughter with, has cheated on me twice. We have been together on and off for 5 years. We have had our problems but I never thought he would do this, things were going so well with us. When he said that he loved me he was so convincing. He says that he'll do anything to fix it and that he does still love me. I think he's only sorry because he was caught. My friends say "once a cheater always a cheater" but I am so heartbroken. Is it possible that he does still love me? Any advice is appreciated.
2006-11-12 03:55:45 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is kind of a twisty one here...If someone cheats it doesn`t necessarily mean they don`t love you, it actually mean he`s weak and selfish. Sometimes ya think his love for you shouldn`t even have him think of another woman that way but everyone is not alike. The one thing he has to do gain your trust back sometimes that can be real hard...if you take him back that`s letting him know you completely forgive him, so that means no throwing his faults in his face. He says he`ll do what he can to fix and it seems like you`re love sick behind him anyway so let him try at least...but if it happens again he has to work on himself and find out what he really wants
2006-11-12 04:14:55 · answer #1 · answered by legz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No sweetheart. He doesn't love you. They tell you that because they always need a "fall guy(gal)".
They'll always fill your hopes and dreams with the I love you's and I'll do anything to keep you.
These people, not just men, even know what real love is! They don't!!
Your friends are right, once a cheat, always a cheat.
There are some that will go to counseling and it has helped, but most the time......no.
They get off on knowing their doing something they shouldn't be. The excitment is to see if they can get away with it. And still be controling you and keeping you in your place.
2006-11-12 04:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what you mean by "love", doesn't it?
My definition of love is never, ever wanting to hurt the person I love, and behaving accordingly. In other words, if I'm pretty sure something I'm thinking of doing is going to hurt my fiance, I don't do it, even if I really really really want to. I don't mean things like not making dinner. I mean things like breaking his trust. Even if I think he will never find out. For example, I have a very good, very attractive male friend, and there is definite chemistry between us. But he is married to someone else, and I will be too in a few months, and we are great friends and we never do anything inappropriate, and we never will. Because we both love the people we're with, and we love each other enough not to ruin each others' lives. Our spouses never have to be jealous because they know they can trust us.
Another word for this is "respect".
So if your definitions of love and respect are the same as mine, the answer is, no, he doesn't really love you. He is too selfish.
If your definitions are different, then I guess this advice won't help. Regardless, I wish you the best.
2006-11-12 04:36:21 · answer #3 · answered by thepracticaldragon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A happy man doesn't cheat. There has to be something underlying that maybe you aren't aware of that is an issue in your relationship. Until you get to the bottom of that, he may cheat again once he gets your forgiveness. Just remember, no matter what his reason was, it's NOT YOUR FAULT. He cheated, that's on him..nothing you did drove him to do that. I understand your hurt and only you know if your love for him can survive this. If you can get past it and try to re-build, great. You do have a child together to consider. Try counseling. Good luck!
2006-11-12 05:26:36 · answer #4 · answered by skybelle24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably does love You, You are his childs mother he better have some love for You, but I'm sorry I don't think he is IN LOVE with you. He sounds like right now he loves himself too much to love anyone else.I'm sure once he grows up a bit more he will realize what he had with You, unfortunately it may be too late. I know it's hard because he's the babys father, but You deserve better. Don't let him play you for a fool. He knows you will be there for him no matter what he does. Let him see the baby, but let him know you need total committment or would rather be alone. He will see he has some serious growing up to do...now...not when he chooses...good luck..I've been thru this same situation...he finally chose Me and My son and we went on to marry and have 3 more kids...happy endings do happen...just keep the faith.
2006-11-12 04:22:26 · answer #5 · answered by Catherinefaith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Loving you isn't jointly unique to dishonest. besides the undeniable fact that, he's an rather egocentric human being (the dishonest is about him, not you or his emotions in route of you). if you're pleased with him having relationships on the area throughout your marriage and speaking about you that way, then flow ahead and marry him. otherwise, flow on and thank God that you realized about this formerly you've been married with little ones (even as you nonetheless have a decision!).
2016-11-29 01:48:46 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will attempt to fix it till what ever made him cheat comes along again. He definately isn't satisfied with you even though there may not be anything wrong with you. He just hasn't had his fill yet and may not for a long time. Don't get down on yourself because there are plenty of guys out there that would be more then satisfied with you and only you
2006-11-12 04:01:29 · answer #7 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he mite still love you but sometimes its nature for guys to cheat .. not all men cheat of course. i may be a player but i i will never cheat when it comes to a serious relationship .. what yr friend said is true once a cheater always a cheater.
2006-11-12 04:00:22 · answer #8 · answered by Ed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he can still love you. Cheating is rarely love if ever...it's usually lust and just a need to get some "strange". My bet..being a guy and having been in a similar situation....is that he was just seduced by her looks and his hormones...or the promise of alot of fun sex. If it was a love affair, there would be alot more to it, and he would have spent alot more time with her than just sex.
2006-11-12 04:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by flashpro 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, it is possible. It's probably very likely. But the question isn't does he love you, it's does he love you enough to never do it again. I know plenty of ppl, guys and girls, who care deeply about their partner, but they're human and they messed up. It doesn't mean they don't love the person they're with. But do they love them enough to NEVER do it again? That's your call. If you decide to stay with him, you need to make it very very clear that if he does it again, you will walk out. Cheating should never be tolerated. Good luck.
2006-11-12 04:01:09 · answer #10 · answered by kween 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋