My 13 year old son is NOT right in the head.?

Question

On our way back from church which he hates he just began crying. I have NO clue why because he doesnt tell me anything that happens at school. He just randomly started crying. I think he is being a baby and should grow up. he does this a LOT on sundays and it ruins my day off. what can I do to stop him from being such a cry baby?

Answer 1

He probably does not want to go to Church, maybe he doesn't like being forced into religion-let him choose for himself. He isn't being a baby-something is bothering him and you need to take the time to find out what it is.

Answer 2

I have a question for YOU. Are you saved? Is your son saved? Does he have the blessed hope of eternal security in Christ Jesus? If he is going to church (and he hates it as you said) and is crying on the way home, then there is more there than just him being a crybaby. 13 year old boys do not just cry to get attention. Either you are an uncompassionate parent or a very selfish to say that he "is ruining my day off". I don't understand that coming from a parent. You don't get days off. It's a 24/7 JOB that you took on when you made the decision to have children.

Now...all that being said, I'm going to assume that none of the above is true and that you are really asking this question because you truly want to know why and because you love your son enough to get off the computer and go talk to him. You have not mentioned if he cries on other occasions, if not, why does crying on Sunday make him a "cry baby". I see kids every Sunday in church that come from some pretty terrible homes and most of them come to our church because we offer them HOPE - and we love them unconditionally without judgement. Sometimes, in order to tie strings as a parent, we have to reconnect with our kids and admit we haven't done the best job of raising them. We might have done the best we could with what we have, but we can all do better. I don't know what religion you are, but I will tell you this - just going to church and calling yourself a Christian will not get you into Heaven. If your son hates going to Church, then he is either confronted by the reality that his life and actions are not what they are supposed to be, or yours isn't. Why don't you just ask him? TALK to him, but try doing it with some love and compassion.

Answer 3

OK, I would really recommend that you and your son go to a family therapist. If he's 13 and crying a lot, there is probably some serious problem going on. There's really no such thing as being "just a cry baby". Kids can have bad problems with peers at school, with teachers, or with just plain hormones, which can cause depression as well as puberty. For a lot of kids, being 13 is really awful in itself, and if he is crying in front of you he needs some attention. Positive attention. He is 13 and still a kid, and it doesn't sound like he knows how to talk about things. If you can't get him to talk, don't think that means he doesn't need to. Don't expect him to act like an adult, because he's not. I know it's frustrating (I have a 14-year-old stepdaughter), but something about your communication together is not working, and this is your son's way of letting you know. Of course it's immature. He's a kid.

Also, Sunday is his day off too. Do you think he's enjoying it? Is he getting enough rest? Is it really that important for him to go to church? Everyone needs to worship God in their own way, and not everyone wants to do it with other people. I have a lot of adult friends who hate all religion because their parents forced them to go to a church they didn't believe in. Maybe it's better to let your son figure out his own relationship with God?

In any case, speaking as a licensed psychotherapist, sudden crying jags in anyone are a sign of depression, regardless of what's causing it. Depression can lead to drug and alcohol abuse, delinquent behavior, and suicide. Don't think it can't happen to your family. Get help for your son while he's still "just" crying on Sundays. And be patient. You're the adult.

Answer 4

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

Personally, I think it may be you that needs to grow up. If your thirteen year old child is crying all the time I think you should show a greater concern than calling him a "cry baby" and saying that he ruins your Sundays. Maybe he finds church difficult to attend, or maybe their is something changing with his body that freightens him, maybe it's school, or a girl, or the need to feel more affection. He is at an extremely difficult and important transitional phase in his life and obviously needs attention, affection, and understanding. Ask yourself what your church would tell you to do. I think your child's well-being should be of far greater importance than your Sunday afternoon. How could you say that your own son is "NOT right in the head"? This is your child you are talking about. Help him!!

Answer 5

I think the real problem here is that your son's parent is seriously lacking in parental skills. I am so sorry that your day off is ruined..NOT. A 13 year old child who breaks into tears is obviously having some trouble of some kind. Rather than ridiculing, you should be trying to get to the root of his trouble. You say he doesn't tell you anything that happens at school, perhaps he is afraid that you will merely call him a crybaby or NOT right in the head.

Children learn by example, so it's no surprise that he may not be as grown up as you would like, his example is very immature.

Answer 6

First, I have a son who will be 13 in December. And you have a problem. 13 year old boys don't cry for no reason, and it is your responsibility as a parent to find out the reason. It is also your responsibility as a parent to know what is going on at school. You need to have some compassion! Something is bothering your child and all you are worried about is it ruining your day off!??? Why does he hate church? Do you have a clue? ASK HIM! He may not talk to you thinking you aren't interested. Get interested. I don't think he is being a baby - I think he needs parents! He is still a child, that doesn't stop when they get out of diapers. Get talking, TODAY! Care about what is going on in his life. And get to the bottom of the problem. Something is going on that you, as a PARENT, need to know about.

When you have kids, they come first. Forget days off, or time to yourself. The child comes first, and if he is crying, there is a reason. Grow up fast, and be a responsible parent, and find out what is so upsetting to your child to make him cry. And check your ego at the door. He doesn't need you telling him you are "ruining your day off" - he needs your love and support.

My guess is that he won't talk to you because you don't listen. You need to start, yesterday. Or you will wake up one day with a child in real trouble - or just flat gone.

Answer 7

Maybe you should grow up and stop acting like a selfish little girl. Your his mother, act like it! He's a teenager, have you ever heard of hormones? Did you ever stop and think that he might be depressed, or in need of some love. What the heck kind of mother are you? If he hates going to church than maybe you should let him be a little independent and make his own decision about whether he goes to church or not. Why don't you try just letting him know you love him and your there for him and maybe he might come around. But remember he is going through a lot of changes he might need a man to talk with.

Answer 8

First of all you need to stop calling him a cry baby and be more compassionate towards your child. He's probably feeling self loathing as it is so try not to add to the burden. He may be feeling guilty about something .Maybe he's being bullied or has had some sexual abuse inflicted on him. These are intense times for kids and it's different than when we were kids. Be supportive and since you seem to be religious being that you go to church ; ask God for help with the matter

Answer 9

That's pretty harsh. Anxiety on Sunday usually has something to do with a fear of what Monday brings. In the case of kids, this generally means there is something wrong at school. How can you "stop him being such a baby" if you're not arming him with what he needs to survive in school?

Think self esteem, how can you make him feel better about himself so that he is better equiped to deal with the pressures a 13 yr old boy has to face?

Life is pretty tough for teenaged boys. They have more pressure than a lot of people realise. Struggling with finding their place in the world, trying to be a man, friend problems, discovering girls, academic pressure, imagining their future.

In my humble opinion, you need to cut the kid some slack and be more supportive. If you aren't able to see beyond your own needs, maybe you could help him to find a supportive adult through his school that can help him.

Answer 10

I think some empathy would go a long way. "....and it ruins my day off ." Wow. How do you think HE feels? Do you think he's crying because it's fun? Maybe something is wrong and he needs you to sit down and talk to him in a calm, loving and supportive manner.

Don't boys go through big hormonal changes like girls around this age?

Maybe he has anxiety about something? Is he having problems at school? Maybe on Sundays he is stressed about going back to school the next day?

Answer 11

If you don't know what is bothering him, how can you know if he is just being a baby? My guess is that he doesn't want to tell you what is going on because he thinks you will just tell him that he is being a cry baby. It is not normal for a 13 yr old boy to just cry, something has to be going on in his life that is upsetting him. I think it is very important at this age to keep the lines of communication open. My 13 year old daughter tells me everything that happens in her life, her fights with her friends, what boys she thinks are cute, etc.; I am not always interested in what she is telling me, but I am glad she tells me! This problem is just as much your fault as your child's. He needs you and he doesn't think you are there for him and so he cries. I think I probably would too.