Actually it was the part about catering which confused her. My son says now she doesn't know wheather or not to list the entrees on the invitation. I told him to tell her to forget what I sent if it causing that much of a problem. And for her to do it the way she wants, afterall it is her day. She is college eduacated, but that doesn't help planning a wedding.
This site had lots of info and I thought it would be a nice gesture to email it to her.
After all no body knows everything aabout planning a wedding.
Wow, I will stay out their way from now on. I had a lousy mother- in-law and I don't want to relive any of that again
How do I make amends? Is it proper to list the entrees in the weddig invitation?
2006-11-12 02:10:22 · 10 answers · asked by Momwithaheart 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What in the world do you need to make amends for? You did nothing wrong...she is being overly sensitive. My mother-in-law was the opposite..she never said much of anything about the wedding and I would have been happy to have her 2 cents here and there! Don't be so hard on yourself!
2006-11-12 02:37:03 · answer #1 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm getting married in nine months and the only thing my mother-in-law is going to do is come to the party and get drunk and make a scene. I know this already. So basically I think your future daughter-in-law is taking all this totally out of proportion. Of course, you can't tell her that. All I'm saying is that this is her mental problem and not yours; you did something caring and she took it wrong.
I think the option of checking fish/meat/veggie on the RSVP card is good. Maybe you could suggest this if she's still freaking out. Some brides are worried about doing everything exactly right, and if she didn't think of the entree thing herself, it might be throwing her for a loop if she was already stressed or if she's a high-strung person to begin with.
If you still feel like you need to "make amends" (up to you; you're the one who'll have to be related to her), may I suggest a nice card? Not an email, but just a little card by post telling her how glad you are that she's going to be part of your family soon (whether you are or not), and telling her to please let you know if you can do anything for her, since you want to help her make the planning for her big day as fun and relaxed as possible. That way, without mentioning the Martha incident again, you can let her know that you won't interfere but you will help if she asks. Good luck, and don't be hard on yourself. You were trying to do a nice thing.
2006-11-12 03:06:21 · answer #2 · answered by thepracticaldragon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tried to help and do the right thing which is perfectly OK. You're a mother and that's normal. Wedding planning is not easy and what's suppose to be a happy planning event can turn out to be a nightmare. Listing the entrees on the invitation is not required. It is a matter of personal choice. Relax your daughter-in law will forgive you and time will take care of everything.
Next time you decide to go on websites for wedding planning take a look at this site I found them to be very very help-full in wedding planning.
They have half hour shows on all types of topics that pertain to wedding planning and their guests are reputable. I think the site is http://www.theweddingplanningaudiocast.com
Good Luck!
2006-11-12 04:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Helpful Advice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not proper to list the entrees on the invitation itself. If she's wanting people to choose between two or three, then she needs to list them on the reply card so the guests can check how many people are attending and which entree(s) they prefer.
If she's just listing them to list them, then she doesn't need to put them on there at all.
I think you need to be patient with her. It seems like you've already got some kind of bias against her, especially given your comment about her being college-educated.
Where is her own mother in all of this planning? Did she ask you for your help? Or did you just offer it? Did you ever consider that maybe why she's confused is because you and her own mother are spitting information out at her from both sides, and she doesn't know who to listen to?
I don't want to sound mean, but I'm going through this same thing right now. I'm planning my wedding, and my mother is making me absolutely crazy. My future mother in law knows this and has graciously stayed out of all of it--I know that I can go to her if I need to, but she hasn't put her nose where it doesn't belong.
Maybe you should consider that before you start "helping." And I put helping in quotes, because sometimes mothers THINK they're helping and are actually causing more problems than solutions. It's not your wedding, and it's not your job to help plan it--unless she asks for your advice and assistance.
I think you should apologize and tell her that you'll stay out of it unless she requests your help.
2006-11-12 03:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a choice of entrees and the caterer/reception site wants that information with the final numbers, than include a part on the reply card asking people to indicate which entree they would like. If the caterer is not asking for this information, than don't bother including the entrees. The entree information does not go on the invitation itself but it can go on the reply card.
2006-11-12 07:12:13 · answer #5 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't see your earlier post, but I have never heard of listing a menu on a wedding invitation.
If you are talking about on the response card, so that the guest can give you a head count for the caterer, that is acceptable, BUT ONLY if the caterer is requiring to know how much of what in advance.
I personally resent everything that MS says. Who can afford to do things her way anyhow.
2006-11-12 02:29:18 · answer #6 · answered by ee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i in my opinion hate Martha Stewart, yet that's quite right here nor there. The bride to be would have some stress on the overpowering chore of making plans an entire wedding ceremony and would desire to devise the full situation herself to confirm not something is going incorrect and each thing is suitable. I comprehend you meant properly, so perhaps only deliver yet another email to describe you weren't attempting to run the coach, only theory she would desire to like some techniques and that in case you're able to be of any help, only help you comprehend. go away it at that.
2016-10-21 23:07:59 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not proper to list the menu on the invitation. After all, you don't want people to just come for the food!
You don't really have to make amends with her. Just make sure you know you are willing to help with anything she wants, and that you are open to working with her, running errands, etc. I always think the MOG has it hardest because the MOB works more closely with the bride! And I have a son, so I'll be there, too, one day....
Don't feel bad - still offer suggestions if you come across them. Make sure your son knows you have truly good intentions - to help, and not to interfere.
2006-11-12 04:40:47 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gf, who is having four weddings for her kids in 2 years, lists only the number of guests to attend and under that she asks people to check if they would like a vegetarian dish instead of the main course.
2006-11-12 02:14:44 · answer #9 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds odd. I do not think you would list food on your actual wedding invitation.
I think it would go on the RSVP response card if anything.
2006-11-12 02:22:50 · answer #10 · answered by treday25 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋