My 1 year old has HORRIBLE behavior. Please read............?

Question

We have a 1 year old boy. We dont know why he acts the way he acts. We are a calm, quite family. He goes to church with us every Sunday. He gets to play with other kids his age most of the week. However, he screams at the top of his lungs to get what he wants. He kicks if you come near him. He bits if you try and clean his face, or even feed him. He throws things if he doesnt want them anymore. He smacks with his hands. He bits the other kids. No Day Care in town will watch him. My wife had to quit her job to stay home with him because of the way he acts. He has gone through 4 daycares in the last 3 months.

We have taken him to his doctors for answers. I thought maybe counseling wouldhelp, but a counselor wont see him, because they say he is too young to have counseling because he cant comprehend certain things and he is too young to be diagnosed and treated for a behavior problem. His doctors say to just igore it, and we do. But he holds his breath.

We love our son but we dont onw why he acts so dramatic. We cant take him in public anymore, because he screams at people if they dont stop and give him attention. He is very attention seeking. He gets plenty of attention. He plays with his cousin every week who is the same age. And he is always with a family member. When he acts like that, we just ignore it and give him a time out. We DONT feed into it. but it is getting worse. We dont yell at him, and we have taken all advice from parenting books for kids his age

Answer 1

Hi,
Sorry to hear you having such trouble to start with. It m,ay just be normal behaviourand he'll grow out of it or may be a behavioural disorder. I have a 6 year old brother who showed the same signs. My parents also got told he was too young to test for anything. Then at three years he got diagnosed with asperger's syndrome it is characterise with syndromes that cause deficiencies in social and communication skills. Maybe worth checking into it.

Hope i could help

Answer 2

Ignore him when he holds his breath. He WILL breathe. As for the temper tantrums......well, he's still quite a bit a baby at 12 months old, but now is the time to instill the fact that it's not ok to act this way in public. This is when he needs to learn what is acceptable behavior and what isn't. When he is behaving, that's when you smother him with praise. Thank him for being a good boy. When he's misbehaving, take him from where ever he is at, sit him down and tell him "we don't act like that". Sometimes a little tap on the bottom gets their attention. I don't mean a flat out hard spanking at that age, just something enough to make him stop and listen to you. Be firm when he's misbehaving. Don't give in to the tantrums, no matter how bad they are. When he bites, try putting a small drop of hot sauce on his tounge. I mean very small......it won't take much before he gets the idea that biting is bad. I hope that this helps some, and I hope that things get better for you and your family soon.

Answer 3

Get the Supernanny books or watch the show a few times. There ARE ways to change this behavior (and I don't believe smacking him or biting him back is one of them.)

Hold his hands firmly. Get his attention, look in his eyes and say "No. That's not how we behave." Never yell when he's being bad. Just be firm. Then distract him with something acceptable.

You can also try a naughty spot, but at 1 he might not understand yet. (Don't leave him there too long. The recommendation is 1 minute per year old, and pick somewhere that you can use just for that... empty playpen is a good idea. Not his crib or he'll associate it with being bad and won't want to sleep in it.)

Really go overboard with praise, cuddles, and rewarding him with things he likes when he's good.

Take care.

P.S. Baby Massage DOES work wonders, and don't worry about the holding the breath thing. No one's ever done themselves in with that trick.

Answer 4

i have four children ages 6,5,4,3. My son the 5 year old was like this and my 3 year old is like this but getting better. some kids have different temperament. my boy does this stull only aobut once every two months it used to be every day. When they are that young though you cant discipline them the dame as a 3 year old. my husband is going to massage school right now and he started giving our three your old little massages our reasoning was if it works to calm adults down and give them a litttle release why wouldn't it work on children who's skin is so much more sensitive than adults. it seems to be working a little as of right now. find a massage therapist in your area or i have heard of people taking their children to chiropractors too. soemtimes they have a problem and they don't know how to verbalize where sore areas are.but I would continue to use the timeouts. also when he is throwing his fits of biting and things like that sit down in a clutter free area and hold him tightly not so tight you hurt him but so he can't move too freely he will scream and cry and it will break your heart but don't give up if he continues to keep biting and hitting jsut hold is wrist loosely and keeping saying "No" i would rock him while i did this too it was so hard to do this with my son all the time but he is so much better for it now and we are very close. I would end up crying afterward but you can't give up. good luck

Answer 5

My son use to bang his head for no reason at all, at that age. His doctor told me to put him in the playpen with no toys for a minute or two each time he banged his head.
That's okay if he holds his breath the worst that will happen is he will pass-out. As soon as he passes out he will start breathing again. He will also come to realize that holding his breath he isn't getting him what he wants. He will give up on it. You need to get some control now if he has that much control now and is only one forget the next 17 years.

Answer 6

It sounds like your child has food allergies. Either work with your pediatrician or get a referral for an allergist and take your son right away.

He's too young to do these things without some underlying cause....as the parent it's your job to find out what that is.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Wow sounds like my little boy when he was that age he is 3 now and has adhd and takes mild medication I was always aginst meds for children befor but there is a dramatic diffrence in him but for your son not being old enough to be medicated for behavior issues that was the same thing my doctor told me is ignor his temper tantrums unless he is hurting himself.holding his breath he will breath befor he sufficates.

Answer 8

If you`ll bust his little a-- when he acts like that,you`ll have him broke from the habit in no time.You shouldn`t have to be told that.A sound spanking won`t hurt a bit.I know that people today don`t think that`s right,but look at the difference in kids today and the ones that grew up under a firm hand.I can see a world of difference.Be the parent and spank him when he needs it or you`re headed for a lifetime of problems with this child.

Answer 9

with the biting have you ever bitten him back so he's on the recieving end,have you tried reverse psychology, he screams u scream, My daughter is 2 but before she was i did stick her in her bed, told she had to stay there as she was naughty (may not of understood but she settled down after i left her then spoke with her later.) Do you smack him when he has done wrong?
All i can say is good luck and hope you can work something out!!!

Answer 10

may i suggest that you take him to another doctor.there is something going on with this child, that needs addressed.he may have adhd or add. I'm sorry but i don't agree with just ignoring him when he acts this way. maybe when he is acting out like this you need to raise your voice to get his attention. let him no even at 1 that you will not give in to him when he acts this way.