Is it my fault?

Question

I have missed 4 years of school and don't know what to do. it's sort of complicated...my grandma died when I was 11.....i was in denial over it. plus my mum woudn't let me go to her funeral/grieve as she never liked my Grandma.....I couldn't cope as I was sort of waiting for her to come back.... i missed 4 years of school......i refused to go to school on-and off fr 3 years because my life was so unbearable, i was severely depressed...and sometimes just couldn't find the will power to get up in the mornings. it was awful....i felt so low.
i was also school phobic.....but no-one ever got me any medical help.
anyway I missed 4 years of school and got G grades in my GCSE exams(apart from in English)
my mum's now got cancer and is dyng from it. the whole family blame me...and they really do believe this. also...when i stopped going to school.....so did my sister...she now has no GCSEs and as severe OCD/won't go out of the house and my whole family blame me. they all blame me because of everything that's happened. also.... my dad has a brother /mt uncle in Germany...but he won't tell him abut me not going to school...WHY? why , maybe my family could have helped/could still help me.
Is all this my fault?
is it my fault my mum has cancer?
Is it my fault at what has happened to my sister?
if s isn't then how can I stop them from blaming me......because they make my life hell every day.
But is it my fault though?

Answer 1

Please Please Please get proper medical help.

You are abusing other useres of Yahoo Answers with your repeat postings.

You have been given lots of very good advice and sympathy from many many users.

You are ignoring everyone and posting the same topic questions over and over again.

You never choose best answer or give feedback.

I am from this point on reporting all your questions as repeat postings.

I hope others will join me and you will seek help from the proper qualified channels.

Anybody who thinks I am being out of order should check this users profile of asked questions and read them to see all the conflicting information before forming an opinion.

Answer 2

There is no way that you could have caused cancer in either your grandma or your mum. It is impossible to predict who will actually develop cancer. It seems like your grandma's death has caused you considerable mental health issues (such as your phobia and depression) and it is possible that a discussion about your feelings with your GP might help. Your sister has her own problems, none of which seem to have been caused by you, it may be that your sister took your grandma's death hard as well and this was also her way of coping.
Your dad may not be telling your uncle in Germany about you not going to school because it is none of his business, he doesn't need to know and maybe your dad is trying to save you some embarrassment or simply doesnt feel the need to tell him.
It is possible that some of you family do feel that you caused some distress to your mother through you not going to school but it is very unlikely that they blame you for her illness.
They may not be intentionally making your life hell, they too are trying to deal with your mother's illness and may not know how to and so are taking their frustrations out on you (unfairly).
I can only suggest that you try your very best to make the time you have with your mother as good as possible by trying your hardest to be the best son/daughter you can. If you have to then apologise for causing any problems.
If you sit your parents down and do this they may not have even realised that you felt that you were to blame and they might be able to help you cope too.
It is much easier to cope with things with others than alone.
Good luck, i truly hope you and your family find peace

Answer 3

Oh my goodness....what sort of a family do you come from? How can they actually blame you when you have been failed so badly? Just because your mom did not like your grandma was no excuse for not allowing you to go the funeral and grieve...your missing school and subsequent problems seem to stem from the fact that you have not been allowed to grieve for someone you loved. I cannot believe that you are being blamed for your mother getting cancer...I know at this sort of time..families need to pull together and draw on each others strengths....is there no way you can get help yourself from anywhere? Try cruse bereavement counselling as it is self referral or try giving your gp a ring to see if they will help you or refer you....please please get help and NO it is definately not your fault

Answer 4

NO ..this is know ones fault this is life do you pck or choose to have cancer ..why did you miss 4 yrs of your life what is wrong with your family you were a child that they could let this happen to you you have nothing to reproatch yourselfe with you have done nothing wrong cant believe adults have let this happen to you .they should be more supportive sound like me you have to get away from your family but then again maybe you dont know the whole story but I tell you no if you are a young person its not your fault its know ones fault its mother nature and we have no control on her ..is it your fault what has happenned to your mum...NO ..is it your fault what has happened to your sis (ITS HER LIFE ) NO but what they have done to you is years of uncontrolled grief dont think they ment it and years later they will regret you were or are just a kid and Im sorry big hug feel you need it but think your family have been suffering dont think they want you to suffer they may have been a bit incensitive passing their guilt to you not intentionally you know even when we get to being so called adults we dont always get it right we still suffer and are still learning we get it wrong sometimes is that and excuse NO we are human we are not instant super humans just people like you and me

Answer 5

Oh honey, I feel so sorry for you. What you must be going through must be awful. All I can say is that you must continue with your life the best you can. Make your Mum's last days as comfortable as possible and make her proud. I know how it feels to be in your situation. Both my grandparents died of cancer so I know how you're feeling. Not letting you go to your grandma's funeral is terrible and I don't think you're mum was right to do that.
Also, may I suggest you go and see a counsellor. I did and she was brilliant. She really helped me and I'm sure one can do the same for you too. Here is my e-mail address: [e-mail] if you need anyone to talk to. Good luck. I'm thinking of you.

Answer 6

No, dear, it's not your fault that your mum has cancer or your sister. This is a strange situation. I hope you can make yourself better. Don't believe your family when they say it's your fault. Can you move away and get a job, perhaps go back to school to get your GED? Do you have friends who can help you? You need help in a big way.

Answer 7

no its not your fault at all.you should have some help,your school will help you and you need to talk about this to your school head,also there should be the PTA failing this ask to see your school governer i,m suprized that you dont seem to have a social worker on your case,I lost my mother and father at the age of 18 months,I was fostererd untill the age of 18 years, i meet a lovley couple who bought me up and helped to make my life a worth while,happy,i think that you have done very well with your written work on this site and think that you would be should be awarded a A level for this,I wish you well take care lol

Answer 8

Your not at fault for others. When a person has cancer it's not because of another doing this to one. We have our own body, we make our own decisions and we can choose to be positive or negative. With this in mind each person needs to take responsibility in taking care of themselves, yes it makes things easier when things run smooth and less stress during this time. You need to take care of you and if you feel you need coping skills to deal with all this try to find one in your area. There are programs out there that can help.

Answer 9

In essence, he's nice. How else might you clarify it? Bush's approval score has been hovering around historic lows (comparable to Nixon's Watergate numbers). different presidents, which comprise Carter and Bush 40-one, in all possibility had greater effective approval rankings, yet have been one termers. Bush has a large number in Iraq, grew to become surpluses into deficits, etc.. Carter lost to Reagan, who provided a plenty diverse direction and private air of secrecy than Carter. Clinton did an identical component of Bush 40-one. If Bush gained, then good judgment dictates certainly one of two issues: (a) human beings had to vote for Bush, or (b) human beings did not prefer to vote for Gore/Kerry. In Gore's case, i don't think of it become all of his fault. i think of human beings have been "Clintoned" out with the help of then, and he become merely appeared upon as greater of an identical. In Kerry's case, i'm uncertain how he could not win an election, yet he needless to say could not convince sufficient those that he become the greater effective selection. i think of the only factor you are able to say on your neighbor is, "desire you like the conflict and those record deficits, through fact you're able to have 'em for 2 greater years. If this retains up, i might hate to be a Republican in 2008."

Answer 10

What you do as a child is not your fault. Your mother should have taken you for help. The rest of this is your family looking for someone to blame. Don't play the game, live your life.