in my house, AND they went past where they are allowed to go. I tore into them, and spanked them both, AND I told them we were not going to go to Seaworld, as planned. But now I am feeling guilty, as we have been going through a REALLY hard time here at home, and their dad is gone, and we are moving in about 2 weeks,
and their life has pretty much been turned upside down in the last month. Should I give in and take them, or stick with it?
2006-11-12 00:02:00 · 17 answers · asked by MC 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
They are 9 and 4, and have been told that I do not want them out when I am still sleeping.
2006-11-12 00:10:36 · update #1
Right now, you are also undergoing a lot of stress due to your current situation (e.g., pending displacement and domestic concerns). Now I want you to know that this is normal and you have every right to feel bad and down.
Now in regards to how you handled the disciplining of your children. You were both right and wrong. Right in the sense that you needed to enforce the rules that you have set in the household. If spanking them is your way, and it's within certain limits, then it is acceptable. Just don't forget that it is also important to tell your children why you are spanking them. This small gesture can go a long way as your children continue to grow and mature.
While on the topic of you rescinding your promise to go to Seaworld, I feel that--taking into consideration all the life changing events that has happened to your family--you and your kids should go.
This is what I suggest you do. Gather your kids around and talk to them as if they were grown up's. Try to make them understand that you were initially upset with them and they you (as the parent, with full control over what you mean and say) have reconsidered and want to take them to Seaworld. Make it clear that this decision in no way diminishes your ability as a parent. This should set things straight.
I hope this was able to help.
2006-11-12 00:21:54 · answer #1 · answered by tedi31 4 · 3⤊ 4⤋
My four year old did the same thing recently. I expressed that I was not happy and disappointed in him. Outside time has also been taken away for awhile.
If I had overreacted due to stress and taken away something I did not intend to this is what I would do:
I would sit my child down and apologize. Explaining that things are stress-full right now and that I overreacted. I would tell him that he can have whatever it was I had taken away back, but he would still be punished. Explain what rule he broke and why that rule exists. Also, I would ask what he thought would be a good punishment. No outside time for the day, no treats, sitting in timeout, losing a toy. I would then have him explain what he did wrong. Then I would hug him and tell him that I love him very much and just want to keep him safe.Then the new punishment would take effect.
This is what I would. I hope that helps. Best wishes.
2006-11-12 00:34:54 · answer #2 · answered by raintigar 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why exactly are you sleeping and letting a 4 year old rome the house? I can see a 9 year old but a 4 year old. A 9 year old is not capable of watching a 4 year old or responsible, you learned that today and your lucky nothing bad happened such as them being hit by a car or snatched.
You spanked the kids and for what? Your stupidity. It is against the law to use a 9 year old as a babysitter which is basically what you were doing and it is not fair to your 9 year old that she has to babysit, you wanted kids now you have to deal with the responsibility such as getting up in the morning and watching them.
I honestly think DCF really needs to get involved in this and look at your parenting skills.
2006-11-12 04:50:17 · answer #3 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Wow, I'm so sorry things are rough right now. I'm normally quite a pushover, so I would sit them down and say how very disappointed you were in them and that you were scared they left the house without your knowledge, but that you very much want to spend a nice time together at Seaworld. You can negotiate some sort of alternative punishment, so that they realise how important it is NOT to disobey, but at the same time have a nice family time together, the 3 of you.
2006-11-12 04:44:50 · answer #4 · answered by MaPetiteHippopotame 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
with out being a smart **** i did not even examine previous the identify and that i'm asserting confident! if that newborn is left to develope in an abusive atmosphere it is going to develope an extremely severe psychological complicated whilst it reaches adulthood, and could bypass directly to commit crimes, abuse its very own babies, others etc. My Father abused me mentally throughout the time of my early existence and that i've got merely merely recovered, i'm 19 now, i've got almost recovered besides, from what I observed I copied and that i became into clinically determined with ADHD I additionally went directly to abuse my significant different, she became right into a cow, yet that may not the ingredient if she had of been the guy for me i could have doubtlessly ruined it, yet now i'm getting into the army and with a bit of luck getting a sturdy dose of existence adventure.. I regrettably have a conviction although, yet like I reported i'm getting that each and every physique significant possibility so record the dad and mom of those newborn abusing drug clientele.
2016-10-17 04:34:14 · answer #5 · answered by woodworth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong in explaining to them that you spoke in fear and anger. They need to also understand that even parents make mistakes and we own up to them. I think that sea world would be too harsh of a punishment. My children started breaking free when we would still be asleep (around 4:00 am). We had base housing install sliding door locks that are too high for the kids to reach (they were 2 and 4 at the time). We haven't had any problems since...I hope that it'll get easier for you!!!
2006-11-12 02:36:14 · answer #6 · answered by doom92556 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I can see you are feeling bad about saying it, but you have done it and if you change your mind now, you are taking away a little bit more of their stability.
Kids need to know that their parents stand by what they say. If you change your mind this time you have set a precedent - Mum doesn't mean it when she says something.
Sit down with your kids and explain to them why you reacted the way you did - because you were scared something might have happened to them. Explain that you worry because you love them so much.
Tell them that the trip to sea-world can be rescheduled and ask them to suggest something else you can all do together that isn't a major outing. Maybe do some baking?
2006-11-12 00:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by Sue 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
this is a hard one. you want to be persistent on your punishment so that they know that bad choices will not be tolerated.yet at the same time things have been hard and this is something you really want to do with them. so, here is what i would do. sit both kids down and explain to them that you are not happy with what they have done. but that you still would like to take them on this vacation. but that they still need to be punished for what they did. then tell them that you are willing this time and only this time. to allow them to set another punishment for their bad choice. make sure that they are aware that this is just a one time deal with them. allow the two of them to work out what they think is a suitable punishment. if you feel that what they have come up with is a suitable punishment, then its a deal.but you too need to come up with an alternate just in case what they have in mind, does not suit you.p.s. have fun at sea world!! p.s.s. i would also like to add that you really should not be sleeping knowing that your children are up and roaming the house. i think that you need to set your alarm and be up before they are, to avoiid any thing like this or worse from happening again. whats more important your sleep or their safety.
2006-11-12 06:06:50 · answer #8 · answered by here to help 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Normally I would say stick to your punishment, but given your current situation, I think the spanking was enough of a punishment. I think they get the idea.
Just explain to them why you didn't want them out and that there are bad people out there who hurt take them or hurt them and you were scared and concerned for thier safety. Let them know that next time they disobey you they will not be able to go anywhere fun for the day.
With the stress of losing a father and moving soon, I think it would be good for all of you guys to get out and enjoy life and put your worries aside for the day! I know what it's like. I told my daughter a few times when she was being bad that we would not go to Disneyland but we ended up going still. She still got her fair share of diciplining still!
2006-11-12 00:37:50 · answer #9 · answered by Torturedsoul 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
I know its hard, but i would
give in - you bummed them out enough.
Explain to them how it scared you and they could have gotten hurt
perhaps change your punishment and follow through
Next time - think about the punishment after your anger/fright settles down a bit-
that way you don't say something you'll regret or don't mean
I try not to make unrealistic punishments too Like: "Santa's not coming!"
2006-11-12 00:18:45 · answer #10 · answered by MamaJupe 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋