Why is he still playing hard to get?

Question

For six months this guy I like and me have been "playing hard to get" with each other. (I hate playing games, and I have since told him this, he said he hated it too!) We always end up kissing when we see each other, but nothing further. Last weekend he asked for my phone number and walked me home after a night out and on Thursday he took me out for drinks, we had a lot of fun, got on really well and he sent me a text after to say he had a good time. I did too. I thought we were getting somewhere and weren't going to play games anymore, but last night when we were out with our group of friends he was back to his old ways. Why?! He knows I like him, I know he likes me! I'm 19 and he is 23, surely he's a bit old to be playing games still?

Answer 1

note the word "play" that's exactly what he's doing, unless of course he's got a girl....find someone who does not play games...he's not taking you seriously...

Answer 2

Hey i know how you feel. I'm kind of going thought the same thing, but we are in our 30's. We talk on the phone and the computer. The last time we went out for drinks he introduced me to friends as his girlfriend. This past weekend he had to go out of town for work. He said he would call. I've called and left e-mails for him just to say hi. I haven't heard a thing out of him in 2 days. I'm going to be patient and wait a little longer but if he doesn't show a little more interest and respect then that I'm moving on no matter how much I like him. I hold to much respect for myself to hang around while he plays his games. So you need to do that for yourself set a time limit you will take and move on if you have too even if you really don't want too. I've learned that a lot of guys don't know what they want or have until it is gone and yes they still play those games when they are older. Good Luck to you and hang in there.

Answer 3

Shouldn't You Should Step Back & Think?

You have certain expectations for this fellow? He should be this way and act that way?

The problem is: he only fits into your mold "sometimes"
You like this guy. You met, you both impressed each other and started this "ball-tossing" back and forth with this "hard to get" attitude. He only conform's to the "roleplaying" some of the time then it's off to his mates and "sorry luv-next time" for you. Yet his chemistry is what you crave.

You still have a lifetime of growth ahead of you.......

Don't play games with it.

You have a powerful advantage with your age and beauty.
realize that first. (your biggest weapon is "eye contact")
Start changing the way you look at yourself.
Start changing the way you think about everything.
Start changing your life.

The way you think is the way you live.

Start concentrating on your surrroundings and notice all you can about people and places without judging them....make mental notes.

Start associating with only the good things that you hear from people.

Start to be kind and compassionate to others and "slow down" when you speak. Never speak over others and always, always listen when spoken to and keep eye contact at all times. (learn to "read" others thru their eyes.

Start to speak with an attitude of "blessing all that you encounter" and always leave that encounter saying a compliment over it.

Look for the good in all things........
Never Gossip, Never Gossip, Never Gossip: Never say/write anything negative about another person to anyone you know.


The way you see yourself, your "self-image" is important to your life and how other people see you. It reflects your confidence in yourself. The people you attract should be "good" people and treat you well and "fit" your needs for a caring partner.

The way you think is the way you live.
Are you thinking desperately?
Is this guy really what you need in your life?
Is he the last man on earth?

Answer 4

If you don't like playing games then why did you keep on playing them? You were giving him the message that that was what you wanted to do. Stop doing it as once you do then he has no-one to play games with. You might have to face up to the fact that this is all it is - game playing - and he is not serious about a relationship with you. I fail to see why you have let this go on for 6 months. If you really want to stop then ignore him and move on or make it plain to him that you are serious about not playing games anymore. It seems it has become a habit after all this time.

Answer 5

Good luck, alot of guys are still playing games into their 30's and 40's, i doubt many of them ever acctually grow up.....if he isnt going to take things seriously once in a while, particularly when you have a relationship, then the best thing you can do is move on and dont look back, obviously he isnt looking for the same things you are.....

Answer 6

If he likes you he would hang out with you as much as possible. If he can't man up, then forget about it. Why should you be aggrivated, in the dark, and asking for answers here on yahoo...don't worry about him honey! By the way...men don't actually grow up until they're like 60.

Answer 7

Firstly, it's against all dating rules for men to play games. Unless he thinks he wants to be the woman and start putting in tampons, this guy's a selfish shithead. Dump him and get a real man.

Answer 8

some guys like to play ahrd to get, my ex does that. he wont kiss me, or talk to me all night. then when he does it is so much better. he likes to put me in my place. i love the thrill of a chase, maybe your guy thinks you do. you might actually miss it if he got all lovey dovey on you.

Answer 9

He doesn't fancy you too much, especially if he ignores you when you're around friends but not when you're alone. If a guy really digs you, then he's happy to show you off to friends

Answer 10

games or not its just that in front of his friends he wants to the the tough guy center of attention. if he was with you his friends wouldnt be around him.