I feel like a prisoner to my own body, what should I do ?

Question

I'm twenty one years old, and feel like i've served a sentence that long. I want to die so bad. I feel life is pointless, and so far ive only experienced pain. I had sex for the first time last night, and it was with a girl who is my friend, and i thought it was something more, and it turns out its just drunk sex. I cant help but feel anything but pain. Its not just her, I think some of us were made for life, and some of us weren't. I happen to be one of the people who wasnt. I know some of you would like to say turn to god, but to me he isnt real. I've tried to believe, and only find emptiness. Well if god isnt real and this life is all we have, then i have been given a bad hand, and im ready to fold.

Answer 1

First off.... dont kill yourself, that would be rude.... Some sorry sap making 6 bucks an hour will have to clean up the mess.

Now, it's normal to have a mind-f^ck once in a while. just get through it. Sh!t is'nt always going to be happy & roses, but it's the good stuff that we stick around for. For every 5 sh!tty days there is one good one & it's worth the wait.

Dont fold... life is a gamble & even the worst player gets a good hand once in a while.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear about how you are feeling. It's bad enough that you are depressed, add a girl to the situation and it makes things a lot worse. It appears that you are hypersensative to feelings right now and when you get involved with a woman, it stimulates a tremendous amount of feelings that you may not be equipped to deal with.

What do you do next?

Well, that's ultimately up to you. Having major depression is disabling, especially when you don't have a support group around you. You could possibly benefit by sharing your feelings with someone you trust or if you don't feel comfortable doing that, join a support group and talk about how you feel with others who will accept you.

Talk therapy - it helps a lot, sometimes it's not enough.

Have you thought about taking medication? There are several stigmas about taking psychotropic meds, however, I can tell you from experience that they can do a lot of good things for you. To me, suffering from deep depression is worse than suffering from a really bad flu. I would take meds for depression as readily as I would take antibiotics for the flu.

Meds alone are not the answer; you will not take a pill and magically turn things around. The way I look at it; You might be trapped in a deep hole, with no light, no way out, sitting there in desperation thinking that you'll be trapped forever. Then one day, you see a light, someone tosses you a rope and slowely helps you out of the hole. You're still messed up from being in the whole, but you feel better since climbing out. I see the meds a way out of the hole. There are a ton of meds out there that work really well, it's possible that they can be the rope you're looking for.

How can I start looking for help?

There are a lot of people around you that are ready to help; per haps people that you might not know about?

Clinicians, social workers, rabbi/priest, friends, family, co-workers - me..... there are a lot of good people in the world that want to see you get better.

If you don't have the strength to look for a Dr. or therapist, find someone that will help you get started.

You're going through a tough time - it's a terrible thing. I've been through this myself, I'm not that much older than you and fortunately, I've found ways to get better. I only hope you have the strength to find it for yoursef.

Answer 3

how have you been given suc a bad hand? Just enjopy life. I'm not going to tell you to turn to god...don't worry. You just sound depressed to me. Go out, have fun, hang with your friends. Life isn't so bad. If you are truely thinking about killing yourself don't do it. It's really a cop out.

I don't really understand where the whole sex thing came into it....but if this is all about you not being able to have sex and get a girlfriend....don't think that way. You're only 21. I guarantee you between now and 25 things will change. a LOT. most likely for the better.

go have fun. You'll miss it when you are older.

p.s.- there's nothing wrong with drunken sex. You'll miss that too. ;) enjoy it while you can.

Answer 4

i'm not going to say i understand or feel your pain, because i'm not you or in your situation. but i go through periods of EXTREME depression. i'm currently in one right now. i actually just got done writing my will, who knows where that one will lead. but i can tell you that you only have one life. wether god is real or not isn't the question. i dont care if there's a god, 12 gods, or a giant fish from another dimension using us as a science project, we only have one existence. it's a lot better of a risk to run then to die. flight or fright, it's our instinct. right now, you need to chose between fighting yourself, or just ditching the problems. any doctor will tell you to face your problems blah blah blah. but i've been down that road and i'm here to tell you it only works on paper. even if you just run for a few days, it's a break.

Answer 5

Yep. tremendously lots. Now that i could, perhaps have a million/2 of challenge (if that) of having a clue and pulling something mutually, now I ought to get *previous* and wiped out and haven't any capability left to do stuff with. And this is in basic terms gonna worsen from right here.....yeah.

Answer 6

you just haven't found what makes you happy. and it also sounds like you just focus on what's bad in your life. even if it's just a smile from a stranger, try to focus on things that make you happy. I'm sorry about your friend, but it is always best to wait until two people are sober to have sex, because then you'll know it's real.

Answer 7

every person has a purpose in life....i used to feel the same way...you need to understand that you can't take every thing that's happening to you/ around you that seriously...i understand how you feel...im also jus recovering frm whts going on inside your head...think bout this:

every person/ thing in this world has SOME purpose to serve. if we are all here then there must be something that we need to get out of here. no its not true that some ppl are meant to live others aren't...that's bull****...your only feeling this way because, at the moment you don't seem to have passion in life.

i mean that you need to find out something that you are passionate about..once you find your passion..you will find your purpose. it could be anything...stop expecting ppl to guide you to it.
maybe your feeling that you can't seem to find a place in this world that you belong to....stop trying to find that place...MAKE IT.
you can't feel anything but pain because your concentrating so damn hard on it.....also because there is nothing else to divert you frm the pain.

to put in a nutshell....find what you are passionate about...and you will find your purpose.

i know i did :)

Answer 8

Before we get to God sometimes we have to get to ourselves. Do what makes you feel good in any situation. Always be true to you, If you live your life the way others want you to you will never be happy. Deep in your heart your answers are in you. Make up your mind and you will find your destiny

Answer 9

wow, strong words.....
i have to say i have felt like that every couple of days for the past 2 years, you feel like you arn't worth anything and feel like **** for it, my doctor said it was depression and stress i think you should see your doctor about it babe...
it's not as bad as you think, i know you think it is but i have felt the same way and i got medication for it.
live each day as it comes try and think of happy thoughts not bad ones and maybe you will feel better with yourself
have a good day babe i have an email address is you need a stranger to talk to
Mel

Answer 10

Yes, I do know how you feel. I especially know what it feels like with your giving you all and it turns out to be nothing. Like the situation with "her".

If you need someone to talk to. Email or IM me. NotToExpressive