My neighbor refuses to control or discipline his children (4 girls). They eat whatever they want and do what they want. My three girls see this and think I am too tough and want to be able to live like that, and they don't seem to notice what well mannered young ladies they are becoming. How do I convince them that this will pay off later in life?
2006-11-11 20:26:06 · 9 answers · asked by Ian 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Always reward good behavior and remind them constantly how much you love them. If your friend loved his kids then he would control them. Love + discipline = Great children!
2006-11-11 20:31:55 · answer #1 · answered by Clrinsight 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are 2 cute short poems by Shel Silverstein that address this very issue. Forgetful me can't remember what the poems are called or which book they're from, but they complement one another. The first one is about the boy's home life during the day, and the second one is at night. My students LOVE it and get a kick out of seeing what it would be like if their parents didn't raise them with the RIGHT kind of boundaries. Most students realize they've actually got it better than the kid in the poem. It might be something you'd like to look into to discuss in a non-threatening way with your daughters.
I'm thinking it will be difficult to convince them at this point- they will see the benefits of the boundaries you've provided when they're older, and they'll thank you for it. Most kids go through this very thing, so it's not the end of the world if they think you're unfair now. You might want to start limiting the amount of time they spend at your neighbor's and start allowing those girls over to your house more often. You just may provide the neighbor girls with boundaries they actually WANT. Good luck!
2006-11-12 03:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatly they will not realize it until they are adults!!!! When they see the other girls getting into trouble with the law, using drugs, and not going anywhere then you can point out this is the reason you were the way you were with them. Always give your kids enough rope to hang themselves then when the rope gets to be a little tight you have two choices you can either save the child or pull the noose tighter depending on the issue. I am a mother of 4 boys and I am extreamly tough on them, but at the same time I am very loving towards them and that is what children need. And every once in a whild a good swift kick in the tushie
2006-11-11 20:35:00 · answer #3 · answered by melissa m 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell your girls that you love them
You love them each time you feed them..the neighbors kids are not loveingly fed by their mom.
Give them clean clothes...what about the neighbor kids
get hugged and kissed daily...Neighbor kids?
tucked into bed in safety....others?
assisted in school work so they can become able to take care of themselves....neighbors?
learn to have manners...the others will go through life without the manners to take themselves to better places in life.
You are your childrens mom, caregiver and, yes, even a boss. you are someone who cares for their future. You didnt just breed the kids to let them sink or swim....like the neighbor mom.
Good luck...you are doing great.
2006-11-12 01:01:47 · answer #4 · answered by spider 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HA, I get that all the time from mine too. I have 3 girls, ages 3, 7, and 10. "we are so mean, we won't let them do anything" lol. We all have enough friends we don't need to raise more.
Keep up the good work
2006-11-12 22:27:37 · answer #5 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't, because they won't believe you. Stop arguing with them. The way I ended the arguments was I told my daughter to pack her things and go live with them if they had it so good. Funny thing was she really didn't LIKE how they lived. The mother was a crack head, the father was a drunk so basically there was NO parental supervision, when the 2nd youngest daughter wound up pregnant at 12 things didn't seem as great there as my daughter had originally thought...
2006-11-11 20:36:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your neighbor's kids are probably not received well by others when they go to visit. Is there anyway that u can take all kids to someones home so your girls can watch the expression on the hosts' faces towards the other children when they are acting up?
2006-11-11 20:51:17 · answer #7 · answered by DAYNA S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep up the good job. your girls will find out latter that you are not being to hard on them just being a good parent. the other kids are not as luck as them to have good parents.
2006-11-12 01:39:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont convince, you just say you are the parent, they are the kids, and whilst they are under your roof you'll be the boss. surely they should be able to see what feral the neighbours kids are
2006-11-11 20:31:17 · answer #9 · answered by trandru 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋