Distracted son?

Question

My son who is nine years old is studying in standard four, is always distracted easily in class. He finds it just too difficult to focus himself on anything, be it during classwork or during homework. time.Hates to write. A couple of years ago he was diagnosed with ADHD syndrome, but the paedatrician also mentioned that this is no big deal to worry about since all kids of his age are bound to behave in a similar manner. Although there were ups and downs in our family household earlier, this could have affected him. But now for the past one year his dad plays with him and is very cooperative towards us. During homework, when he gets to be a little inattentive, I give vent to my anger and pour all sorts of insults. But later I apologise to him before going to bed. My son is not the type to keep any ill-will in his mind, since he forgives and forgets very easily. He has a good moral values in him for which he has been ranked as an A grade student. But overall academically, he scores a B.

Answer 1

First of all, it doesn't sound like you're willing to change the way you parent. You say you "pour all sorts of insults," but in the next breath you say it doesn't affect your child. You don't SEE it affecting him, but EVERYTHING affects children, just as it does adults. If your boss treated you the way you treated your son, you might let it roll off you in front of him, but you'd certainly hold a grudge and general disdain for him secretly. The same can probably be said of your son. If he has been diagnosed with ADHD, yelling and insulting WILL NOT change his behavior. It's obviously not working for you, so why continue this malicious behavior? That's the first thing that needs to change.
The second thing that needs to change could possibly be your expectations for your son. A grade of C is average. Your son is performing above average (B) without ANY help to address his ADHD. I'd say he's doing exceptionally well considering his circumstances. My advice as an educator is to visit another doctor who is willing to address your son's ADHD more appropriately. If you are unhappy with your son's school performance but are unwilling to do something constructive about it, both your son and your family will suffer. Best wishes.

Answer 2

A child with ADHD faces a difficult but not insurmountable task ahead. In order to achieve his or her full potential, he or she should receive help, guidance, and understanding from parents, guidance counselors, and the public education system. You should never insult your child. How do you know your son forgives and forgets? You might apologize but it is too late the damage is already done. Give the child a break and learn how you can help him.

Read about ADHD and learn about it to help your son.

Answer 3

Firstly, you need to quit that venting to anger bit. That is not helping in any shape or form and will be a negative influence even if he is forgiving you. It WILL stay in the back of his mind. And what is wrong with a B? Encourage him, praise him...help him....but don't yell and scream. Maybe you should look into family counseling.

Answer 4

MY SON HAS ADHD AND IS NINE YRS OLD WE HAVE A LOT OF STRUCTURE LIKE SCHEDULED TIMES TO DO THINGS AND IT HAS REALLY HELPED WITH HOMEWORK BEHAVIORS AND EVERYTHING. JUST REMEMBER BEFORE YOU LASH OUT AT HIM ,HE DOES HAVE A PROBLEM AND DOES NEED LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING. THERE IS SUPPORT GROUP FOR PEOPLE WITH ADHD AND THEIR FAMILIES MAYBE TRY ON OF THOSE BECAUSE SOONER OR LATER WORDS AND ACTIONS BEGIN TO HURT. I ALSO PUT IN A COUPLE WEB SITES ABOUT ADHD THAT HELPED ME. GOOD LUCK TO YOU GUYS AND HANG IN THERE . YOU WILL FIND YOUR GROOVE. I ALSO PUT A COPY OF WHAT MY SONS SCHEDULE LOOKS LIKE DAY TO DAY MAYBE THAT WILL HELP TOO.MY SON HAS A'S AND B AND DOES VERY WELL IN SCHOOL.WITH THE SCHEDULE AND MEDS HIS LIFE IS ON TRACK!


6:20 WAKE UP & EAT BREAKFAST& TAKE ADHD MEDICINE,VITMANS
6:50 BRUSH TEETH&WAS FACE AND HANDS
6.55 GET DRESSED EVERYTHING GOES ON
7:05 BRUSH HAIR AND GET BACK PACK FOR SCHOOL
7:10 GO TO SCHOOL
3:30 RETURNS FROM SCHOOL AFTERNOON SNACK
3:45 STARTS HOMEWORK AND READS BOOK
4:45 DOES HIS NIGHTLY CHORES HE HAS THREE SIMPLE CHORES
5:45 WE EAT DINNER
6:15 PLAY TIME-TV TIME FREE TIME
8:00 BRUSH TEETH&TAKE SHOWER
8:20 GET RELAXED BEFORE BED
8:30 LIGHTS OUT

ON THE WEEKENDS IT CHANGES A LITTLE BIT HE GETS TO STAY UP LATER! SCHEDULES REALLY DO HELP WITH ADHD! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 5

maybe your venting on him is his problem with distractions. what kind of parent are you to expect so much out of a nine year old when you can't behave yourself. check yourself first. take a chill pill and leave the kid alone.

Answer 6

is it possible the work may be to easy for him and he needs more of a challenge ?