and ends up hitting someone, but he never had1 problem in preschool. he says they started it. i told him to tell the teacher and he told me that he shouldn't tattle. so what to do?? he does have a little bit of a temper, but it seems he just can't keep his hands to himself when it comes to mom and sister. dad and brothers like to wrestle around all the time. and suggestions??
2006-11-11 18:31:10 · 11 answers · asked by Summertyme73 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Talk about the difference between play wrestling at home and hitting other kids at school. Make sure your son knows it's not tattling if someone is physically hurting him. It's also important that you talk to his teacher rather than simply taking his word for it. She may be able to shed more light on the situation. Like someone said previously, teachers aren't going to take the time to write notes about something that's not happening. Trust me, I can barely find the time to get the notes written that NEED to be written. :)
This is probably just a phase that he is going through as he adjusts to kindergarten. My nephew struggled with hitting in kindergarten even though he never had the problem in preschool. We thought for sure he'd be the problem child all throughout school, but once he saw how much trouble it got him into at home, he quickly changed his behavior. Now he's the kid the teachers ooh and ahh over (he's in 2nd grade).
I wouldn't stress over it, but I wouldn't allow it either. Take away a privilege every time he comes home with a note. Give him a privilege for every week he comes home with no notes. He needs something to look forward to as an incentive, but he needs to also know that if he screws up, there will be consequences at home as well as at school. Best wishes!
2006-11-12 03:53:12 · answer #1 · answered by elizabeth_ashley44 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should tell the teacher if another kid touches him. It's not fair for him to get in trouble for something he didn't do. Talk to the teacher & tell her that you told him to tell her instead of hitting the kids back, it's not tattling, it's doing what's right & keeping himself out of trouble. My boy is like that too, likes to wrestle & play around. But his Dad was looking through the door after class started & seen that it wasn't our son always starting things, he seen the other boy was the one starting it, but the teacher doesn't see him, she doesn't catch it until the end - when the other child is just defending himself. Explain to your son that he needs to keep his hands to himself, that it's not always wrestle time. Everyday that he comes home without getting in trouble, give him a snack or make a chart & let him pick out a sticker to put on it, than at the end of the week, for how ever many stickers he has, he gets a dollar to buy something from the store.
2006-11-11 18:40:52 · answer #2 · answered by tanner 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, believe the teacher. No teacher is going to make that up........it's more work for them to contact the parent, write notes, etc. It must be a problem and teachers listen to both sides of the story and usually have about one hundred witnesses if it happened on the playground.
Next time he hits someone, make him do housework from the time he gets home until the time it is dinner and then right back up again. Tell the teacher no recess and that the child will apologize to the student and if neccessary will call the parents and apologize to them for hurting their child.
2006-11-12 01:22:58 · answer #3 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time out worked for us. Hitting wasn't practiced at our house, but my stepsons' mom hit them for everything. At our house, we taught that people only hit if they don't have the vocabulary to express their anger in words. They went home and told their mother. They reported back that they got yelled at a lot, but didn't get hit much anymore. Depending on how smart your five year old is, he may understand that reasoning. Also, it's not tattling to yell REAL LOUD, "HEY! STOP KICKING MY SHIN!" or "KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF MY HAIR!" The squeeky wheel gets the grease. If none of this has the desired effect, go to school one day, and stay all day to observe. If you have a video camara, take it with you. If you catch some kid abusing YOUR kid, you can point it out to the teacher. If you catch YOUR kid acting up, you have proof on the tape and you can play it at home and discuss other ways he could have handled himself. Best wishes.
2006-11-11 18:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by rainbeauclown 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The best way I have found to deal with a problem with bad behaior is to find a children's book that we can read together that specifically addresses that issue. Try these books to start: When I Feel Angry (Way I Feel) by Cornelia Maude Spelman and
Hands Are Not for Hitting, by Martine Agassi Ph.D., Marieka Heinlen " There may be other books but I just found these on the internet. I have found if I read a book it opens a better conversation with my daughter.
2006-11-12 15:01:11 · answer #5 · answered by working mother 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that's not a "boys would be boys" concern - that's violence. I even have 3 sons, and that i will permit you be attentive to that what your boy is doing isn't commonly used. i could have him seen by making use of a guidance counsellor as quickly as you may. What concerns me is which you look justifying his behaviour slightly - particularly with the comments that the lady fought lower back and left scratch marks on your sons palms. Why does not she attempt to maintain herself from getting kneed? And once you're saying he's effective till somebody messes with him - it does not certainly sound like different childrens are "messing with him", it variety of sounds to me like different childrens are protecting themselves against him. i'm specific you're actual in desiring the behaviour to stop, despite the fact that it on no account will in case you're making excuses for it or attempt to justify it extremely of coping with the difficulty in a extra valuable way. chatting with him approximately it repeatedly won't do something - boys track out, particularly if it feels like nagging, you'll be able to desire to come to a decision what's making him so indignant and supply him different retailers.
2016-10-17 04:26:46 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the dad and the brother may be makin him think its ok to hit other children u might want to tell them to quit wrestling and see how it affects behavior at school
2006-11-12 02:03:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try talking to the teacher first and try to be strict with him. May be hard but it is for the better.
2006-11-11 18:39:36 · answer #8 · answered by Rizwan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
check and see if they are brothering him first, he may be defending himself.
2006-11-12 01:59:55 · answer #9 · answered by This is just my opinion! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well hit his *** back
hes five you cant let something that weighs (about) 65 lbs control you
2006-11-11 18:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋