Is he as big a jerk as I think?

Question

My boyfriend forgot my birthday, but that's just a symptom of a larger problem in my opinion. I have told him that I feel like he neglects our relationship and that I feel unimportant and ignored. Now he has forgotten my birthday and I feel like it is a clear illustration of the overall problem. He has apologized and expressed a desire to make it up to me. But he knew it was coming, knew it was important to me, and he's known me over five years so he knows what I like. In my mind he should have had a plan. I've never had a birthday I felt was so important (I turned 30) and I feel like he really let me down. His idea of making it up to me, btw, is my picking something out and his paying me back for it. So. Am I the real jackass for having such a lame boyfriend? Or is he as big a jerk as I think he is?

Dinner and a movie is also on the options list for making it up to me.

Answer 1

Ugh, don't go calling yourself names now. Apparently you've known him for a while and something possessed you to make that initial move and stay with him all of this time. But it's like I always say: Quality, not quantity. Some relationships should not just be based merely on longevity, but substance as well. Sound good? Yeah, it would be. If you two have differing thoughts on what makes a relationship stable and solid, then you should lose him. It seems like he is more superficial while you are more sentimental, and he doesn't seem very creative either. No pity party for this dude, if he doesn't shape up, then cut him loose. And certainly don't go trying to fix him up yourself, because that will just be more effort lost on your part. He's got to want to change, and no one will be able to make him unless he wants to.

Answer 2

He seem like he's taking you for granted. Not only is he a jerk and a jackass, like you just mentioned, but this latest escapade was a real blatant inconsiderate slap in your face expounding the neglect you are already acutely aware of. He did let you down and it didn't seem to matter to him. His idea of "making it up to you" shows real contempt toward you. Even after telling him you feel he is ignoring you and showing you indifference this may be a wake up call that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with you any longer. If this is the case you should confront him with it and tell him you are not going to be subjected to any more of his crass unfeeling treatment. You have every right to expect a decent caring relationship or else you will have no relationship with him at all. If he is any kind of a man he should clear the air and tell you what's on his mind instead of him discounting your feelings and continually ignoring you and knocking you down morally and spiritually. These games he is playing with your emotions may be his way of setting the stage for you to end the relationship with him because he is too afraid to come right out and tell you directly. This may have been "his plan" all along. If this is true then you would be well rid of him and be the wiser never to look back. No reason to put up with being unhappy any longer.

Answer 3

It sounds to me like he is somewhat self centered, after all 5 years is long enough to know almost everything as far as how you feel about things. I have a feeling that it won't get any better. I'm just curious, did you pick something up for yourself ? Did he pay you back for it? First off I wouldn't have picked up anything, the gift is supposed to be something he wanted to get you, that's why their called gifts. Otherwise he should have just gotten you a card and put money or a gift card in it, which to me in unacceptable too, but that's me. Second, if he didn't pay you back that will tell you a lot. He needs to make some changes and be more sympathetic to you needs. If not then he's not deserving of you and you should move on. And you should never refer to yourself as a jackass. You are a sensitive woman and deserve a man that will respect you and your needs.

Answer 4

If you are feeling this way know get out. It will just get worse. He is a big self absorbed jerk. Run like the wind and don't look back because when you find the one that actually thinks of you instead of just himself you are going to be in heaven.You don't have kids and you are not married. There is nothing holding you RUN!

Answer 5

Wyatt...Wyatt...Wyatt, Ever when you consider that i got here into Y!A it is all i hear approximately! And now that's getting tremendously dull, Wyatt isn't all that humorous as previously anymore, he's starting to be a brilliant nuisance. Please forget approximately him and don't ask questions bearing directly to Wyatt! this is pissing me off, whilst people ask questions affirming they are leaving or like this one Do you think of Wyatt is a jerk? all of us comprehend for a fact he's an A$$ hollow! yet there isn't something we are able to do approximately it, sure perhaps he does provide honest and bother-free comments, yet he does not experience ok except if he makes you experience greater decrease then him, calling you JUNIOR or PARASITE, for particular his family contributors would desire to of been problematic on him and now he takes all his anger out on the Cyber international, and the only thank you to provide up people like him is to easily forget approximately him, not by ability of asking meaningless questions like those. So please people forget approximately Wyatt, and Wyatt Jr.(Alex) they seem to be a similar guy or woman, perhaps Wyatt isnt Wyatt's actual call in any respect, he can consistent with hazard additionally be Latino or Black, bear in innovations on the Cyber international you're able to be all people you like, yet at the back of the computing gadget, you're able to be between the backside bugs in this unbalanced international. as quickly as back do exactly not point out something approximately Wyatt, he will quickly be bored with not getting each and all of the attention and go away, yet whilst your certainly one of those people who like Cyber Drama and what not, then proceed this unforgivable nonsense. -Jaden

Answer 6

First off Happy be-lated birthday. Second, what type of ---- is that to have you go buy your own gift and pay you back for it. I know they say it's the thought that counts but what the hell was he thinking seriously. I'm honestly surprised you only referred to him as a jerk and not something else.

Answer 7

From a guys perspective:

5 years is a long time, but him forgetting your birthday is neglect. Phase him out.

Answer 8

first of all sorry...and happy birthday...secondly it is a HUGE red flag that yes this is going to continue to happen. don't waste the pretty darling...move on.

go get the book "He's just not into you" and open your eyes to what is called a big waste of time...your boyfriend doesn't deserve you...make yourself available for a good man...

Answer 9

Why is your parent's birth supposed to be important to him? You're not married, since you only refer to him as your "boyfriend" I am assuming you're not even planning on marriage in the near future. So why is all of this a big deal to you? He is your "boyfriend", he doesn't HAVE to remember your parent's birthdays as for your's...well YOU are the one who has beeing going out with him for 5 years, haven't you learned ANYTHING about him as of yet?

Answer 10

The guy does not sound too intelligent to me. He might mean well, but he doesnt think that far. Is change too much for him? Hes not a jerk, hes just nieve.