Okay, say u haven't had a good relationship with the only man whose suppose to be there for u. He's betrayed you and u guys are total enemies. Now you have a bf and ur relationship is great but....inside u jus dont trust him. You want to but you can't. It's hard to trust someone when u think their gonna hurt you. Your bf is like ur best friend except more and u really love him but u can't trust him. Your too afriad to. What do you do. I really need to talk to some girls about this but if anyone has ideas help!!!
2006-11-11 17:46:27 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes...it's hard when you had a bad experience and you don't want it to happen again...I've met this really wonderful babe on answers and we have been chatting on IM every since...At first it was just fun and all that, but I've come to really like her to the point of having her on my mind 24/7, but she got a guy in her life (don't know if he really exists) ...What a dilemma, uh?
2006-11-11 18:20:18 · answer #1 · answered by KING DONG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
sounds like yes you were betrayed in your last relationship and unfortunately this has left you hurt and untrustworthy, understandably. Of course your greatest fear is being hurt again. A word of advice for you. You must take every relationship on their merit . There are no guaretees and one thing is for sure if you are with and inlove with your partner unfortunately you cant control what they might do. However you cant live your life day to day worrying what might happen. Just live everyday positively and dont mistrust your new partner because of the previous ones mistakes otherwise your not giving it the best chance and may draw negitivity into the new relationship by way of suspision creating your own demise. If you dont tust your new partner your not giving the situation the best chance. As hard as it is you need to let go of these insecurities and learn to trust again otherwise you will just drive yourself mad and given the bad trot you had the last time around you deserve a fresh start. Leave the past behind. Goodluck
2006-11-11 19:32:06 · answer #2 · answered by natasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have all been at that point where we have been hurt and don't trust people. Assume the best of your bloke, and carry on accordingly. Mistrust will eat away at you and you can end up seeing the worst in everyone - v. tedious and often a self fulfiling prophecy as you drive people away.
Trust him, but not necessarily implicitly - he will often let you down because he's human, not perfect.
And don't tell him how you feel - let him carry on in blissful ignorance; when one preson has to constanlty keep reassuring the other, it can drive a wedge between them.
So, it's all up to you - trust him not to hurt you, and get out there and live. As for your ex, they say that revenge is best served cold. Give it a few months of being with your new bloke, and come up with some ingenious ways of getting even, then put them in a list and ask us all to vote.
Good luck.
2006-11-11 17:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by Matt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to give this guy the benefit of the doubt and not make him pay for the last plonkers mistakes. If he hurts you then you meet someone else and start all over again - there is no risk free when it comes to trusting someone.
2006-11-12 00:13:03 · answer #4 · answered by sugar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of all u should have a confidence in yourself. Now your previous experience is supposed to be a valuable guide for u. Keep trusting people but stay alert and cautious.
2006-11-11 18:52:24 · answer #5 · answered by myoyr0 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a major part of a relationship. If you cant trust someone you dont need to be with them because I dont think your ready to have a relationship.
2006-11-11 17:50:04 · answer #6 · answered by Charles' Princess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, i can see exactly were your coming from, except im the one who the g.f was worried about trusting, exact same situation. all i did was drop everything i ever did, palmed off my mates, didnt do anything that would lead 2 her being upset, bad move yer, but it helps her. for u ide just try to take a step back and not worry to much and try not2 get 2 serious until you learn to know him better and u just naturally end up trusting him. please dont accuse him of everything under the sun tho! it will drive him insane!! trust me!
2006-11-11 17:52:48 · answer #7 · answered by LENNY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a hard call unfortunately. Someimes as they say you're damned if you do and damned if you dont... experience does lend itself to our insecurities...and also to feeling good about someone and trusting them. Ask yourself has he really done anything to make you distrust him or is it your expectation that he will? If it's the first then you don't have any proof against his love!!
Don't spoil things by pushing him away...
2006-11-11 18:15:48 · answer #8 · answered by xbkw46 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a "numbers" game dating but you usually know deep down after a couple of weeks if somone is trustworthy so follow your instincts. If you feel they are "jack the lad" - they might change but not for long. I steer clear of Toxic men - they're just a waste of time.
2006-11-12 05:00:40 · answer #9 · answered by D F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so frightened about betraying etc. There is no way to guarantee a safe relationship and there is no reason to cage yourself with fears. You never know.
2006-11-11 20:14:48 · answer #10 · answered by B i n g o 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋