I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we are so serious we want to move in together. On Saturday he takes his grandmother to church and on Sunday has lunch with his family but I don't exsist at those times. When I call him his phone is off and only afterwards can I be with him. I've never met his family and he only tells them we were dating or not dating at all. He's avoiding the situation completely and I believe the reason we don't live together already because of his racist family. He's met my family and I come from an interracial family...so racism is not very big. Why do some families not understand that love is blind?
What can I do? Today I cried and slept all day because I'm so depressed about it and I refuse to see him until he talks to him mother most of all. Because she is the most controlling person.
On holidays he doesnt' spend anytime with me because he has to spend it with his family? HELP!!!!
2006-11-11 17:20:34 · 9 answers · asked by ILAUGHATU 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
To some families race is important. If you read the bible, you will see why some families believe that races should not mix. He is not the one with the problem. It seems to be his family. If he is not strong enough to break it to his family...he is not strong enough to be in an interracial relationship.
2006-11-11 17:25:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe this man has another woman. At this point you cant go back in time so i think your best two options are below:
-surprise him and show up at the family house. if he has another woman she will be there and you can deal with that issue in the manner most comfortable for you
-leave him alone
I am curious as to why you were ok with not being together for holidays but its not entirely relevant. I will say this-my ma, grandma & great grandma always said start out the way you intend to carry on-For future reference with him or any man dont let it go if its important bring it up early on. 2 years of not celebrating holidays is deep-want to spend them alone when you move in too?
He is a grown man and he has already made his decisions. You have been ok for 2 years so he probably doesnt understand why you are upset-what he does should help you decide what to do. Sounds like race + religion are factors.
You are grown and you are special! 2 years of your life are not coming back-if he doesnt have a problem with the separation thing dont move in with him or stay with him. What about when you have children-you & them without him for the holidays-sounds insane
2006-11-12 01:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by msijg 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's difficult to believe that racism still exists today, but it does.
Apparently, his mother has a lot of influence over him. You don't say how old he is or you are, but it sure sounds like he is trouble for you.
It sounds like your feelings run deep for him and after 2 years, that is understandable, however, it doesn't sound like he has the same feelings.
And like it or not, if his family has much influence over him, your relationship is pretty well doomed before it even gets started.
Moving into a place with him isn't going to change his ways. You already have hint of what is to come by the way he neglects you on weekends and holidays.
Personally, if I were you, I'd move on. I know it hurts to hear that, but better you deal with it now, than later down the road.
There are plenty of really decent guys out there.
2006-11-12 01:36:01 · answer #3 · answered by Gnome 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Two years is a long time to be going out. If he's not willing to show his family how serious he is about you, maybe you need to see your relationship for what it is. This isn't love. . .
2006-11-12 01:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by felihum 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should have a serious talk with him. It sounds like he doesn't want to disappoint his racist family by telling them he's with you. Like I said, you should have a very serious talk with him. If he really wants to be with you, he'd tell them.
2006-11-12 01:26:03 · answer #5 · answered by puppypal710 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it shows that you are not that important to him and you never will.Simple things like spending quality time together,he chose to with his family instead of you.What does it says? Move on get over him moron!
2006-11-12 03:28:19 · answer #6 · answered by chasen54 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The problem is with your wanting to move in together. I stopped reading after that point. Get a clue.
2006-11-12 01:23:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
you no if he doesnt want his family ta no about you then you should dump him because it sounds like that he is embarresed because of your race WISE UP
2006-11-12 01:36:41 · answer #8 · answered by Jeannie T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump hiz sorry butt! if he really luved u, he'd tell hiz family 2 back off!
2006-11-12 01:24:41 · answer #9 · answered by MARY W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋