A "Mom" Question?

Question

My mom and I barely talk to each other. I sometimes feel like running away. We had numberous of fights together, and today seem like the one I alway remember in my life.
Okay, it was a nice day for my ballet lesson. My mom drop me off at the dance studio. I thought of my future as a real Prima Ballerina. Soon, it got ugly. I didn't finish some of my homework, and mom was mad, as usual. She told me to quit ballet because I wasn't studying to much. How could she do this to me? All those years of ballet? No way. But she won as usual. She actually was so mad that she tore my leotard, ballet shoes, a my skirt and through it into the trash can... I feel like ripping apart, into half... The life I always wanted, is gone... Now what? How do I make my mom and I tighter and be friend as it was when I was five? And how do I talk my friends about quiting ballet? How to I change my mother's mind...?

Answer 1

aHi there,

No one wins in this battle, I know, I have a daughter whom has been dancing since she was 2yrs old, she is 18 now. At first I was like you mother. I saw the talent and wanted her to push herself to be the best she could be. However I wasn't the only one her dance teacher saw her long term potential and pushed her as well.

In the end my daughter broke her and from that day on she was in control of her dance designation.

Bottom line "MOST" notice I place this is quotations, want what is best for our children. I'm sure your mother want the same for you. You have to sit down tell her how you feel ..... WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT??? WHAT are your dreams???? This is your life......Do you want to be a prime ballerina? IF not tell her and she will have to deal with it..Then tell her what you really want...

God Bless

Answer 2

Sweetie this is a hard one to answer. First I had a terrible relationship with my Mom growing up and now I am Mom to a 2 year old. I have her in gymnastics and if she still wants to do it as she gets older I will support her all the way. (She started when she was 18 months). I do know that in order for her to continue in gymnastics she will have to behave (do as her dad and I says, good in school, etc).
Please don't run away you might ask your mom if she is willing to go into counseling with you so you two can work through your issues and hopefully become closer.
About the ballet you can always take it up on your own when you turn 18.I know you'll be a little behind the others but there is not you can do about it if Mom says no. Believe me a life without her is harder than you can imagine. Mine has been dead 7 years ago next month. We did have a hard relationship, but I think we could have work at some of it and could have be closer. She never got to see, hold, kiss, or play with my wonderful little girl. I hope you are able to work this out with your Mom. God bless you both.

Answer 3

When I was little I had a similar situation with my mom ~ballet~ it had hardened my heart and it was a big reason why I stayed distant from her. Next time you go out shopping with her just come up behind her and take hold of her hand and give it a little squeeze while you walk together she will think of you as her little girl again, this will help break a barrier down . Then ask her to sit with you, if your in a public place she will be more apt to listen to you, not fight with you and take you more seriously, explain to her how much ballet means to you and that you are sorry that you had disappointed her and you'll try harder with your school work. Tell her you love her and how important it is that she be in your life and that you feel like you are losing your mom & best friend . I think this will touch her heart. Also realize it is very hard to be a good mom and that she is only human , there maybe things in her life that are stressing her out...... she may need you too !!!!

Answer 4

Honey,
Your mom just wants whats best for you even if you don't think so. Start doing your homework. Be more responsible. Sit down and talk with her calmly about this. Tell her you promise to improve on getting your schoolwork done because believe it or not, it IS more important than anything else. OK? Once she sees you actually doing this, she may let you join ballet again. Just let her cool off and talk to her about it.
When you get older and become a mom someday, you'll understand why she's doing this...Good luck!!

Answer 5

well me being a mom i can understand her being mad cause you didn't finish your homework. But i think she went to far tearing everything up and making you quit. She should have sat you down and said before you can go to your ballet class you need to finish your homework first or finish it before you go to bed. School right now should come before anything else. As for making things better , ask her to sit down with you and ask her what you can do to make her happier with you, or proud of you. She might be stressed or dealing with some thing you don't know about, she might just need a shoulder. All i can say is try talking to her nicely.

Answer 6

My daughter is a competitive gymnast, a sport that practices 12 months a year, 15-25 hours per week, outside of school. The continuation of her gymnastics has always been reliant on her keeping her grades up and doing her best in school.

She started getting B's one time (after all straight A's). She said she didn't have time to get her homework done. She was out of the gym until her grades came back up. It didn't take too long once she had "time".

School/grades (i.e. your education) have to come first, with dance second. Talk to your mother and ask her about the possibility of getting back to dance once your grades come up. Deal with it. That apparently is the rule there, too, but do talk to your mother.

Answer 7

Simple. You have certain responsibilities in addition to your ballet, and if you take care of them, your mother will almost certainly back off.

If you go along hoping and believing you will someday be a prima ballerina and prepare for nothing else, you may be in for a surprise. And it can be a very unpleasant surprise.

Your mother isnt wrong in wanting you to apply yourself to your studies, but maybe she could have found a more diplomatic way to get your attention

Answer 8

Tech you life is not gone, just you leotard and slippers are. Those things are replaceable ,.

Your mother is more worry about your schooling and your grades then she is about your ballets. As she should be. She is your mother, not your best friend.

You are no longer 5 years old and your relationship with her will NEVER be like it was back then, you are growing up.

Ask your mother if you can start ballet classes again if you get your grades up.? Then keeps them up. No one wants a stupid ballet dancer.

Answer 9

Sit down with her and explain how important ballet is to u and ask her if there is some way to stay in it. If u do so and ya'll have not been getting along very well, she will know that u r interested in it and u have to work harder urself to prove to her u r as like doing ur homework or studying harder whatever the case may be.

Answer 10

sit down and talk to you mom..ask her if you can speak first and then when your done, then let her talk..be open with her..sometimes parents just don't realize what is going on with the kids in school, has to be because of the environment at home..when a child is doing bad in school, then sometimes not always, there are bad things going on at home..fighting etc..let her know that you will do better in school..and if you continue to do better in school, could you start ballet lessons again..That ballet is your dream and you want her to be proud of you..Just talk to her..Good Luck Dear