One of my best friends said that she cant talk to me because im an athiest. Am I wrong for being an athiest or is she wrong for being judgmental? I mean its not like I bashed Christianity or anything I just dont believe it. I explained this to her and she still wont speak to me. Should I still try to be her friend(cuz I miss her) or should I just forget her.
2006-11-11 16:09:50 · 25 answers · asked by me. 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I'd say to let her have her space. If she gains some wisdom, and learns to understand that hers is only one way of believing, then maybe you'll rekindle a relationship.
The problem in this world is that many Christians just can't accept other ways of believing, thinking them all of the Devil. Just keep being who you are, and you'll be a witness to the world that kindness and morality aren't the domain of Christians alone.
2006-11-11 16:13:24 · answer #1 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
RE: Matthew 18:15-20 if a church member has a grievance with you, they should address you first, then ask for one or two witnesses to help intervene to correct the matter, then tell it unto the church for help BEFORE renouncing you as a heathen.
Your friend is skipping an important step, and giving up too soon in the process; so you may need to seek the counsel of one or two mutual friends to mediate and reconcile between you. Do not give up, as you are showing more faith than she is right now, and will be rewarded for following through on your character that is being tested here. You are basically being called to be a bigger person than she is, when she is the one claiming faith.
There is a very humbling lesson to be learned here, and both of you will benefit by working through this to be better people for it.
Please ask for a pastor she respects for advice or to intervene and mediate between you to restore your relationship. [I once met an atheist in a Catholic Bible study group, where he was invited as a member and welcome to interact without judgment. So I know it is possible to continue meaningful dialogue without unnecessary conflict.] As long as you are open and not rejecting her or anything she has to say, there is little reason for rejecting you. But if you deny some truth or faith that she feels is inseparable from her being, and she feels you are not listening or hearing her, that may cause her to give up and cut things off to express her disapproval.
It sounds like you truly value her friendship. Can you please seek the counsel of someone you both respect? If you cannot resolve your deeper differences, at the very least I think you could restore respect for communication and sharing again.
Take care and please do not give up on her. Some of my most resistant opponents, including both Christians and atheists and agnostics, gained a greater understanding of true forgiveness understanding and faith after we had a falling out and had to work very hard to restore trust and communication. So that was a key part of our learning process to grow into a mature understanding.
We would not have learned if we had not run into such conflict.
If you need further help to reach an understanding of where she lost hope of relating to you, will you please contact me by email. I have gone through this so many times, it is not even funny. But each time, I gained a stronger friendship -- the harder I had to fight the more we gained for it. But it can be very trying especially if you don't know what or why it is happening.
Please contact my email as listed. See also some hints about
mediation and safe dialogue:
http://www.houstonprogressive.org/CHRguide.html
http://www.houstonprogressive.org/mediator.html
2006-11-12 00:54:47 · answer #2 · answered by emilynghiem 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, I'm a Christian but to each is own. If it were up to me the whole world would believe but it's not. It's people like your friend that give Christians a bad name. Forget about her, shes not worth the salt in your tears but before you forget her tell her that only true Christians are accepting of others & only God has the right to judge.
2006-11-12 00:19:22 · answer #3 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion she can't be too good of a friend if she is willing to dump you because of your religious beliefs or lack of. If you had made fun of her beliefs she would have a right to be mad. However if you simply stated you don't follow the same beliefs, I don't see where she has any complaints. It always amazes me how people that think they are very religious can be so judgemental about things. I always thought religious people were supposed to be forgiving and kind. I am not religious at all but to me as long as someone isn't trying to push their ideas off on me and as long as they aren't hurting anyone, they can believe/do whatever they want. Good luck.
2006-11-12 00:18:57 · answer #4 · answered by iceemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friend,
Try to be a friend to her even when she has pushed away.
Humility and kindness can and do go a long way, whether or not others notice it. You can be just a friend, someone who simply hangs out or you can be a loving friend who when others are hurting or even if they abandon you, you can remain a faithful and loving friend still.
Try to find out why the cause of seperation has happend, though no matter the outcome always be open to be a loving friend.
2006-11-12 00:40:57 · answer #5 · answered by J.C.E Jude 1:3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont lose a great friendship over ur religious beliefs. If ur friend is mad at u itz not the rite thing but still she is ur friend n u all should be thankful that u had somthing n common that attracted u together. Im sure it didnt leave so juz remind her the reason yall became friendz. She'll come around but trust me u dont wanna lose her.
2006-11-12 00:15:15 · answer #6 · answered by Fiesty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost a friend due to the fact he didn't agree with my religious choice. All You can do is let the person know that you you will (if this is your choice)always be there when she's ready to talk to you and that you are saddened and will miss her. Stand by your choice and do not let her or anyone make you feel bad or less of a person for your beliefs! BB Sdw
2006-11-12 00:18:40 · answer #7 · answered by Gladfly & Sdw 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want to understand it from her POV, Christians aren't supposed to be unequally yoked with non-believers. That doesn't mean she can't be your friend, it just means she can't (and is not supposed to) participate in activities with you that undermine her faith.
Based on your apparent age, I'd say this is probably her parents' doing. If that's the case, you'd best look for another best friend, because it's unlikely she will disobey her parents on something like this.
2006-11-12 00:30:22 · answer #8 · answered by azar_and_bath 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some Christians believe in a verse where it says "don't be yoked together with non-believers" ect, ect. The truth is Christ himself constantly surrounded himself by sinners. He also prayed constantly that He would not enter into temptation. Some believers, when around non-believers feel like the could be strayed from their faith. could be out of love for God or afraid of hell, or a combo of both. Some christians could walk around in a den of iniquity, and remain untempted and unpolluted. others can not. it certainly is not personal.
2006-11-12 00:16:08 · answer #9 · answered by Millenium Man 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its probably her church or family influencing her. Some people believe you should not associate with those that dont believe.
Im a Christian, but I have to tell you, dont change for anyone. Make some new friends, and just be there, if she wakes up to realize she shouldnt have pushed you away.
2006-11-12 00:12:31 · answer #10 · answered by sweetie_baby 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋