What do you do to make your parents care about you? Mine care more about their material possessions than me.?

Answer 1

Dear CoolChick,

The world is full of people who don't know how to properly express their feelings. Some of it is cultural. In some cultures hugging and touching are rare. In others spoken encouragement is rare. The feelings may be there but hard to see and feel. This could be what is really going on with your parents and you.

Do you have brothers and/or sisters? If you do, talk this over with them. See if they all feel the same. Then see if they think YOU love THEM. You might be very surprised.

If you don't have brothers or sisters ask some friends, and use the word "like", instead of "love". Compare their feelings about their own parents with your feelings about yours. It feels better to talk about it anyway.

About the material possessions, maybe what is really happening is they are tearing out their hair because they think they have totally failed in trying to teach you how to take care of your/their/other people's things. Perhaps you think their mistaken attempts to use "punishment" to teach this to you means they don't love you. You couldn't be more wrong. Parental love means having to be responsible for the person you turn out to be. Maybe it is clear to most adults that you have no respect for your parents or for other people's things, and your parents feel criticized and like they have failed on you because they keep seeing and hearing about it. The only way to change this is to start showing you can be more mature.

No matter what the causes, or what you do, you may not know how much your parents love you until many years from now. When you finally realize the sacrifices they have made for you it will hit you like a ton of bricks. It will really make you cry, believe it. Nothing can reassure you like time and experience.

Console yourself with close friendships and try to find ways to be creative and productive. Nothing else can lift your self esteem like these things can. Helping others in need is the biggest feel good in the world, I highly recommend it.

One more thing, your parents have a bigger harder job ahead of them as parents. They will have to learn how to let go and love you in spite of how well or poorly you do in the world, and still love you unconditionally and try to be supportive.

Believe me, it's much harder to let go than it is to try to teach you the skills they believe you will need to make it in life. Every failure you experience triples their guilt about not being good enough parents.

I hope and pray for you to find real love in your life. Don't wait for it to come from outside of you. Make yourself a person you would want to love from the inside out. God Bless.

Calico.Kitty

Answer 2

Are you sure? I hope you are just feeling this and it is not truly true. Sometimes we get the wrong feeling about circumstances. How old are you? At certain times in our growing up years, we are more sensitive leading our emotions on a painful journey. I by no means are belittling your feelings, they are worth their weight in gold, I am just asking you to really examine your situation. If you continue to feel the way you do, you must in a respectful manner at the best opportune time confront your parents. They may not realize their actions and will not be aware if you do not let them know. Be strong and good luck. You must move on this one!

Answer 3

Unfortunately, I am in the same boat as you. No matter what has happened in my life, they still seem oblivious to what I want and need. A large part of my healing has been learning to see that it's THEM and not me, and that for whatever reason, they are "emotionally disabled" and unable to connect with me. It sucks, it hurts, I know, and I sometimes get jealous of other people's parents and families for being so close when it's what I ache for in mine. The holidays are the worst.... at this time I try to book myself as solid as I can with friends who genuinely care deeply about me, so that I feel loved.

Answer 4

that is the most unfortunate thing i have heard in a long time. It's so sad.

In their defense, maybe they do care they just don't know how to show it.

The best way is for you to find something that you'd like to do JUSt with one of them at a time. Example, go to a movie with your dad. Go get a manicure/pedicure just with your mom or lunch with one of them. The key is to bond with one of them at a time. Teach them how to do it. Parents don't know everything,. As a matter of fact, they know VERY LITTLE. DOn't be afraid to teach them a thing or two like "how to bond with a daughter". Be A Leader. You can do it. The world needs women leaders and this is a great start.

Answer 5

First are you sure? Maybe you are a bratty spoiled child and you want a lot of things that they can't afford than you throw a tantrum when You don't get what you want.

Ok I get bratty too and my mom called me daddy's little princess when I was having a tantrum over something. She really HURT my feelings but in the end I hugged and kissed her.

I noticed you call yourself the cool girl. A cool girl wants to be in fashion and have all the latest things. Maybe you are so spoiled that you don't realize that your parents have to pay rent and buy food with the money they earn first. GET A JOB COOL GIRL.

I want my parents to love me and protect me. I dont want their money. Do you want them to love you or do you just want their money so you can buy all the best stuff in the mall?

Answer 6

I wouldn't do anything!!! If they cared more about their possessions than me, I would just forget about them and leave!!!

Answer 7

There is nothing you can really do about it. Maybe try talking to them and maybe they will listen. If not it is not your fault, just try to be around friends who really care about you. thats what i do and it helps

Answer 8

Unfortunately, you can't change them. You just have to recognize that it's not you and not to pass that on to your kids.

Answer 9

respect them and try to be obedient girl may be the would change