Any good resources on how to deal with spouse with PTSD?

Question

My husband just left to go back to the desert from r&r and his behavior, from what I understand, is VERY much like PTSD. I would like to know of any resources on how I can better cope with this and what would be my best course of action to help him? I do not live near a base.

Answer 1

If I understand this question there are 2 issues - the first is that you are having difficulties coping and the other is that he is suffering and has just returned or is enroute back to his unit and is also having adjustment difficulties. I am also going to assume that, based upon your description of not living near an installation you are a Guard/Reserve family. As long as this is accurate, my first suggestions is to contact the Family Support Group (FSG) leader and see if they have formed a support group of spouses yet. If they haven't, contact your rear detachment and get the name/number of your state assigned Chaplain. Even if you are not religious - he/she is the one the Army has given all the answers and resources to. Tri-Care will also cover counseling services for you, but there are a lot of little details you must take care of before going to see someone (go to the myTriCare website for full details for the region you live in). Once again, your rear detachment can assist with all of that if it is confusing. As for your husband, every FOB, CSC and Base Camp has certified combat counselors stationed on them or nearby. If his symptoms are severe (suggestions of harming himself etc.) contact his chain of command through the rear detachment ASAP!! If his symptoms are mild, find out who his downrange chaplain is and contact him/her and ask them to speak with him. You can find out who this is either through the state chaplain or your rear detachment. Your FSG may also have this information. If all else fails, AND THIS GOES FOR ANY SPOUSE WHO READS THIS please feel free to contact me directly at [e-mail] and I will specifically address or provide contact names and numbers for you.

Answer 2

Contact a local Vet Center. Not a VA hospital or clinic. Most cities one. The Vet Centers were set up by the VA to deal with PTSD in a totally different atmosphere. Very relaxed and informal. I can say from first hand experience that they can and will help. They don't give out the run around like the regular VA. Treatment or any form or help they give is cost free to all Veterans. I'm sure they can help you. I owe my life to them.

Answer 3

I would wait til he's home after the deployment is up and see how he's doing. I know my husband was very very strange during leave because ( he later told me) that he felt like he was a dead man walking. After he got home and had a few weeks to readjust he was fine. BUT he also talked to his chaplain (even though he's by no means religious) and he told me that helped him to get his head straight before coming home. If he still has issues when he gets home though he will have access to psychiatrists etc (if not at a base then at a facility near you....I want to say it's through tricare remote but not 100% about that) and from what I've heard it's actually encouraged that they go now. (and my husband is infantry) Good luck! I know how stressful this is but your husband is very lucky he has a wife looking out for him ;-)

Answer 4

Yes, they are encouraged to seek help but they more then likely do not take it or are looked down on by their COs. When my husband got back from his second tour, his behavior was very much like PTSD. I just gave him his space and listened when he wanted to talk. It can be very hurtful but please don't take it personal. It has nothing to do with you. I also talked to a therapist which helped me understand more of what he was going thru. He refuses to go to therapy. And a lot of soldiers think that they're considered "crazy" if they seek help. Just try to be patient with him, it's gonna be hard. It took my husband about 4-6 mths to get somewhat back to normal( he's infantry/sniper). Help should be offered, especially since you aren't near a base. Chaplians are life savers!! Thanks for your sacrafices.

Answer 5

I myself have PTSD, I was diagnosed last year, just before my divorce was final. I am also bi-polar. I see a psychiatrist, and a counselor from the vet center about once every 5 weeks. It helps a lot, plus I take some meds... Lithium, Gabapentin. Just be supportive, or you could end up like my wife and I, DIVORCED.

Answer 6

Thanks for answering my question. I will say a prayer for your husband and for you.

I have often thought how I would handle it if my husband had to go to Iraq. He is a firefighter and has his own dangers to deal with, but I think your situation is much harder. He has seen his share of bad things that we don't talk about too.

To answer your question, I think if I were in your shoes I would speak to a regular therapist out in town. If you called around maybe there is someone to talk to. I wish I had a better answer.

Answer 7

I suffered from PTSD and what I needed most from people was compassion, space (a LOT of space) and strangely enough, a firm, but helping hand. Not cutting me a lot of slack but not jumping all over me, either. If your love is strong enough, you can love him through this but chances are he's going to need to be on his own until he personally and privately works through it.

Answer 8

Steer him towards the VA if you can.
Otherwise read up on...lots of info on web.
http://www.military.com has forums frequented by active duty and retired military people...and spouses...and friends.
You will have to register to post question but I think you will get higher quality answers there.

Answer 9

Wow that stinks. Send him love letters every day. Send him pictuers and talk of good stuff not bad stuff. (Positive note only. After awhile, when he's back, things will get better.) Besides they wouldn't have sent him back if they thought he couldn't handle it.