so theres this boy . ive gone out with him 3 times. Basically, when i break up with him he gets really depressed and yells at me constantly and says hes gunna kill himself, which hurts me because hes one of my bestfriends. thing is, deep deep down i'll always love my ex. i went to a party a few weeks ago and i said i missed him and he said he missed me too, then i broke up with my boyfriend(the second time, we went out the year before) and the other guy and his girlfriend broke up.. then i asked him out and he said no, because he doesnt wanna hurt anyone. now im going out with the boy i was with before, and idk if i like him, and yesterday i figured out that the guy i really love is trying to decide between me and another girl. my boyfriends getting suspicious, i dont wanna hurt him.. but its the right thing to do.But theres no guarantee im gunna get the other boy, who ive always loved. but theres a high
2006-11-11 14:01:57 · 17 answers · asked by xPEANUTx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
chancee.. please help me !
2006-11-11 14:02:36 · update #1
Would it be you breaking his heart, or himself?
2006-11-11 14:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by jonas_tripps_79 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just need to decide whom you would rather be with and go for it and not look back. You sound really confused and don't know what you want also. If you start dating this new guy you have to completely forget about the old guy. Your really mean if you keep the old guy around just in case it doesn't workout with the new one. Honestly though, why do you need a bf? There is nothing wrong with dating several guys at the same time. Take things light, let both of them know that your not looking for anything serious and your just needing to hang out, meet and make new friends.
2006-11-11 14:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by bigbadwolf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U of course will hurt him however whats worse is you putting on to him when you do not need him.If you are a sincere person you're going to smash it off along with your reward guy,even supposing you don't get the opposite guy again who you say is attempting to come to a decision between you and one other lady.What are you a slice of pizza waiting for some one to decide upon you ?Make a decision concerning the guy you're with now who is getting used as an alternative and stick by way of that determination.Your life shouldn't be on hold for some one else option.
2016-08-09 22:22:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember 2 things... you are DATING.. not married. It is not a life long commitment.. it IS trying out different relationships until you find the right one.
Having said that... it is impossble to be in a relationship without expecting pain at the end. Without feelings, there was no relationship in the 1st place.
However, if you break guy #1's heart to go be "available" for guy #2... then don't go back to guy #1.. if guy #2 doesn't go out with you. The point is you wanted someone else over guy #1... so going back would only because you wanted to console your hurt until guy #3 came along... Not fair to guy #1.
2006-11-11 14:07:48 · answer #4 · answered by Vanchaser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sooner you tell him the better. It's only going to get harder. It sounds like it would be an good idea for you to go a period of time with no boyfriend. Try to fill your life with other things. Get involved in an activity you are interested in or spend more time with your girl friends and relatives.
Sometimes girls just need a break from guys to get their head back to where it needs to be.
2006-11-11 17:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your bestfriend that you would rather be with this other guy. and that it wouldn't be fair to either one of you. let him know you value his friendship. and that you really need him right now more as a friend. maybe down the road who knows. your bestfriend might find someone that he will love more. friendship is so hard to find. true love is even harder. and with this guy it must not be true love for you, or else you wouldn't be having another man on your mind. either way good luck. get things out in the open. and if you don't feel comfortable telling him in private, tell him in public.
2006-11-11 14:14:19 · answer #6 · answered by lolly125107 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will break his heart either way. But its best that you come out and tell him that you aren't interested in him any longer before you get busted. You might be able to re-hook with him later, but do not lead him in that direction. Just be blunt and say, I don't want you right now, you don't excite me like you used to, and I feel that I should tell you this before you see me with someone else. Plain, simple, and to the point. Let him know that you are sharing this with him because you still respect him, although you don't see yourself with him any longer. If he kills himself, then so be it, you are not his slave and you refuse to be. If he yells at you, sever communication immediately. He's sick, and you are feeding his sickness by staying with him. If you can understand him, then you are just as sick as he is!
2006-11-11 14:10:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything. Go away for a while, away from both of them. It seems, you are still confused as to whom you really love. Then decide and make that decision final. The emotional upheaval that you are causing to yourself and to them is unstable. Determine whom you really love and select him and stay with him no matter what. That is what true love is all about.
2006-11-11 14:07:57 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your being selfish holding on to one guy while your waiting for the other guy to make a decision...You and your ex deserve eachother! You both are being selfish using your current gf/bf as a safety net... Ditch them, get together, so that you can both cheat on eachother down the road!
2006-11-11 14:08:58 · answer #9 · answered by wherenai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go with what your heart tells you, If you really like the other guy, then its not fair on the guy your going out with to stay with him. Even if you don't get the other guy, it'll be better than being with one guy and liking another one. It will also hurt the guy more if he thinks you are going out with him and considering him second best. I got dumped because my gf liked another guy, and it was better that she did that, I certainly felt better than living as being second best.
2006-11-11 14:06:57 · answer #10 · answered by The Big D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a bit of a sticky wicket
if youve broken up with him 3 times and youre considering it again, thats not a good sign
theres a reason that it keeps failing
you need to tell it to him straight:
"[name here], i have to be honest with you. i have feelings for someone else. we've tried to be together several times, and it just dosent work. but i am worried about you, you are my good friend and i care about you. it hurts me that you get so angry and depressed when we are not together. you should find someone to talk to to get those feelings out in a better way. killing yourself wont solve anything. just take sometime to yourself, try talking to someone, and when you feel better, because eventually someone else will come along and you WILL feel better, we can go back to being friends"
dont say those EXACT words, just something along those lines. something that comes from YOU and from your heart, so its sincere. but practice whatyou want to say and say it. dont back down. it will be better if you are honest and show him you care
2006-11-11 14:09:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋