If a child is told not to come back to Sunday school, who's fault is it?

Question

I saw a question about this and a lot of people took the church to task. I serve in the children's ministry and since we can't spank a child if a boy or girl stands there and refuses to sit down and stop running around and disrupting the class all we can do is try to gently restrain them until one of their parents shows up. So who's fault is it if after several such incidences the parents are told that their child is no longer welcome? The teachers or the parents?

Answer 1

It was me who asked that question and I welcome this opportunity to address this some more. First off, what does this tell the child about a loving God?

So is it only the well behaved who are allowed to come to Sunday School? Did Jesus say, "Let only the well behaved come to me"??? No, he didn't. This little girl has had a rough life. She knows only what she is taught. It breaks my heart to see her kicked out of church. It shames me to say I'm a member of such a church.

This may be her last chance as a child to have this experience. And for further information, she was abused in her home, so a year ago was put in foster care. The foster parents are amazing and have helped her so much already but who can ever fill the void she must be feeling hmmmm? I think but one and He is God.

She attended the Sunday School twice. Nothing was said the first time. The second time there was no discussion, just went to the foster parents and said "keep her home, she has bad behaviours" Tell me again.....what difference is it with FAULT? She is a little girl who needs the Lord. I'm crying as I write this. Why is it when things become a little difficult people run away from helping?

You know , she comes to our Daycare 10 hours a day and yes she has some bad behaviours but my goodness , nothing drastic. She needs a consistent, loving but strict guide. We have seen and had children 10x worse than her. Today I read the children 5 books, she cuddled close and listened contently. She isn't bad, she is sad.

Answer 2

Martin, I work with the children in our church too, and I can say there is NO reason that a child should be asked not to come back.

If the parents (foster, in that case) are neither willing nor able to assist in the child's spiritual growth, it falls to the congregation. God has placed that child there as an opportunity for service. Anyone who shirks that responsibility should be reconsidering their spiritual maturity.

I don't care how many people have to miss morning worship, if a child needs a guiding hand during Sunday school, or in any other activity, SOMEONE needs be willing to step up to the plate on that child's behalf.

Class disruption is no excuse for turning a child away. Even in the dreaded public school system, they allow mental health technicians to sit through classes with the children. There's no reason the same technique can't be utilized in the church.

Answer 3

The Parents.

The actions if allowed to continue and the parents do nothing then the parents are at fault. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Some would think that means beat them, not hardly. There are many forms of punishment without hitting. I don't put up with unruly kids when I teach. I will take them and in front of the church sit them with the pastor and make them stay there. A little bit of shame is good when it is used in the right way.

If the parents do not discipline their own children then they are going to reap what they have sown.

Answer 4

I, as a Sunday school teacher, can relate. We are very limited in ways of disciplining the children. One option may be to ask the parents to come to class with the child. If this is not possible the options are slim. Many Sunday School teachers are not trained teachers, just volunteers so they are not trained in disciplining. To place the blame without knowing the whole situation would not be fair. Some children have disorders that have to be handled in ways that a volunteer teacher may not know about. There are many things that have to be considered. I know that I would be very hurt if I were asked not to bring my child back.

God bless,
Stanbo

Answer 5

You do not want to turn any child away from Sunday School. If he/she is being disruptive, then get one of the parents in the class and have them supervise their own child. The information they receive in SS is too valuable to exclude them from it under any circumstances, even if you have to put this child in a class of one with a teacher until they learn how to behave, but to turn them away is wrong. God's people look for solutions to EVERYTHING. You are looking at it from the "worldly" point of view as if it was a option to attend or not. It is essential they learn about God, more essential then secular education.

BTW..to the guy above me..."spare the rod and spoil the child" is NOT in the Bible.

Answer 6

i'm not a Greek citizen, yet worldwide huge babies who're schooled are given history classes. the classes are boring and therfore not actual remembered. i'm partly Greek and that i could have an interest to verify approximately Greek history. the story is an prolonged one. It encompasses the story of the Roman empire, the way it took over the Greeks and its very final fall besides. Telling a tale approximately history from the attitude of a relatives or individual could make it extra exciting. look on the internet web site under.

Answer 7

Well of course it's the lack of parenting.
We did not get a clear back ground on the child, but were told she is a foster child. She could go either way too loud or too quiet.
In your question as in hers - DISCIPLINE is the key along with listening to the child as she/he talks about feelings and all the questions she/he has. Teachers are quite limited in discipline, but parents should communicate with teachers the child's cares/etc. and behaviors, attitudes, etc.
You both are a team to care for children.

Answer 8

I don't think unwelcoming the child is the answer, so that route should not be done. Some kids have special needs to where they do not compose themselves "normally" in such settings. Some, on the other hand have not been disciplined and do not respect authority. It goes against Christian theology to not welcome anyone into a Sunday school class, there is always another way to go.

Answer 9

I would say that the parents need some parenting classes!
The church can do only so much! This child has not been taught how to behave and I'd bet that the child rules the house at home as well.

Answer 10

Parents if u have tried everything u possibly could to get the child behave in class, and the parents knowing the child is disruptive and still haven't done nothing about it.

or

Both if neither of u did everything in ur prower to correct the problem.

It is all based on what was done to correct the problem.