well my bf (now husband) cheated on me. and I was done and ready to leave but my heart wouldnt allow it. Well he's army so he is deployed but so is the female he cheated on me with. So whenever we get the chance to talk I always bring it up. I dont like to and I feel its ruin my marriage and we are still newlyweeds. So my question to males and females. How do u get pass this or did u just leave. I want to stick by him but i dont want to be blind to the fact of it happen again. And I know it hurts him when I bring it up EVERYTIME we talk. And not only that but they still communicate thru emails after work which I dont think is ok. I havent told him cuz im not tryna be a pest. But what dIo i do? I told him that I want counciling when he returns and he said ok. I dont want to add more stress to our marriage thats why im askng for advice. PLEASE answer only if u are serious and are truly trying to help. Thanks in advance
2006-11-11 13:59:16 · 9 answers · asked by poohbeark19 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My best advice is to keep talking to your husband. Focus on your feelings, but try not to be too harsh with him - too judgmental or controlling. It doesn't work in the long run. And while he's gone, it's going to be difficult to rebuild trust - counseling is necessary - there are a lot of steps to go through which probably can't be done while he's deployed.
But, in the meantime, it's important that you feel understood. If you have to, tell your husband that talking about it is part of the healing process, and that you'll probably bring the issue up more often than he likes. And if he wants to help, the best thing he can do right now is listen and acknowledge your feelings.
And it doesn't hurt to read as much as you can about recovering from infidelity. A good starting place is http://cheatingandinfidelity.com/
Hope this helps.
2006-11-14 05:36:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can try to answer it from the guy's side. I cheated on my gf and currently she isn't speaking to me. If he is sorry for what he did then you do have a chance. I agree with you that he shouldn't be talking to that other girl at all. That is one way to show that he is serious about making a change to be sure he never cheats again. I don't recommend turning a blind eye to what happened. Counseling is probably a very good idea. Be sure to deal with it, he made a huge mistake and he's gonna have to suffer a little for it. Just don't make him suffer all the time with no end in sight or he'll give up. I don't know if I helped at all but I hope so. Good luck, I hope it all works out for you.
2006-11-11 22:05:19 · answer #2 · answered by emperor_onion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of these man think that they are slick when they do that. Some do it on purpose, and others do it from lust, still neither way makes it right. I have an ex-wife for the same reason, but you may not have to go the same rout that I did. If you try to work it out, then you should be carful because he could hurt you very badly. On the other hand you could cut your losses, and go to find the happiness that you know you should have, but learn from what he did to you. I hope this helps you to make your mind up.
2006-11-11 22:10:23 · answer #3 · answered by Jerome E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went though a guy cheating on me after a 4 year relationship. I handled it by leaving because no matter how much i loved him i didn't want to live my life wondering what he is doing all the time i could not trust him fully ever again no matter how much i tried. Him emailing this girl is totally throwing salt on the wound for you and i am sure just that is making you second guess him. He don't respect you if he is still talking to her that's sick. Dump his *** and find someone who will have eyes only for you. Good luck
2006-11-11 22:47:46 · answer #4 · answered by lem604 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say if you don't have kids, leave. Being a military wife is hard enough without having to deal with this track record ALREADY. If you do have kids you may want to try to work it out. I would say absolutely NO contact with this female unless directly work related, set down rules and stick to them. If he cant follow them boot him out the door. If you don't have trust you will never make it. Good Luck.
2006-11-11 22:03:40 · answer #5 · answered by Shell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok
1. if you don't trust him you'll never be completely happy.
2. Is really disrespectful the fact that he still talking to the girl, you shouldn't allow that.
3. Don't remind him of that everytime you talk to him, that is annoying and he could get tired of that and leave you.
4. You have to trust YOURSELF first before you trust anyone else.
2006-11-11 22:04:17 · answer #6 · answered by Barb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know because I'm not you, but if my husband cheated on me, I might try to work it out at first, because I really love him. However, if I knew there were signs that the cheating would continue, and we had no children, I would leave. Why put yourself and your future through that?
2006-11-11 22:04:50 · answer #7 · answered by emmyfair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this may sound short and sweet but sometimes good answers are..... look into your heart close your eyes and the answer is there in your face... Yes you can or no you can't... it is that simple.
2006-11-11 22:05:39 · answer #8 · answered by Andi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust and faith are blind, one has to keep.
Other wise, also, CHAMADE KI CHEEJ, GHIS TO NAHI JAATI HAI NAA.
2006-11-11 22:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by kingofuniverse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋