should i giver my baby girl up for adoption?

Question

well, im 35 weeks pregnant considering adoption. my reasons are pretty selfish i dont want to be tied down with a baby and plus im still 17. i wanna live life kid free but at the same time i want to keep her.its gonna be hard. Are my reasons selfish?

Answer 1

No, your reasons aren't selfish - at 17, you're part adult, part child.

There are thousands of childless couples who would love to adopt your baby. Also, there is an option called "open adoption", which allows you to keep in touch with your daughter as she grows up - it might help you to choose adoption if you know that you will see her again.

I would work through an agency and not go direclty through the prospective adoptive parents who write ads in the paper - you don't know what they're like, but if you go to an agency, you get to read profiles of them, and meet them, and then decide. They will defray your expenses of having the baby, which will help.

What you are thinking is the most unselfish thing - what is best for your little girl, a married couple who can fulfill her needs - remember, you're still mama, and no less so because of your choice.

Answer 2

The question that you seem to be asking is not whether or not you should give the child up but whether or not you're being selfish. No, you are not being selfish. You are scared. 17 is young and you still have alot of your life ahead of you and this is obviously not something that you had planned for yourself. Take some time and discuss whats happened with some people that your trust and that you know would have your best interest at heart. Tell them what you're feeling and use their insight to try and decide what your best plan of action is. If you do decide that adoption is the best route, it will be painful. Just because you are not raising the child does not mean you will love it any less. But if you feel adotive parents would be able to offer a better life, then the decision is the right one. Don't jump to any conclusions too quickly and don't be hard on yourself when you come to one. Take your time and after you've made a decision stick by it. Good luck.

Answer 3

I think you should think it through. yes your reasoning is selfish but thats okay its better to be honest than to be a mother to a child you don't won't, and you are 17 life should be about you right now. Giving a baby up on the other hand is not selfish at all you will be making another family very happy and giving your daughter the greastest gift possible. Make sure you want this and are not just running scared at this time. I would look into talking with a crisis pregnancy couselor who can go over your options with you. There are many different types of adoption and open adoption may suit you. Good Luck an God Bless. FInd someone to help you through this time look into www.dona.com for a doula in your area who will be there just for you. You will need alot of Love and support whichever desicion you make.

Answer 4

It is not selfish if you want to give your baby up for adoption at the age of 17. There are many couples praying for a child to adopt, and will give the child a wonderful life. I admire you for considering adoption, it is a beautiful act of love. God Bless You!!!!

Answer 5

Yes, your reasons are selfish, but you are using wisdom. If you would resent your child for tying you down, adoption IS the best answer. Perhaps you will want to choose an open adoption where you meet the adoptive parents and have some access to your child in later life. Perhaps a closed adoption would be better. Talk to an adoption agency and discuss your options with them. The adoptive parents will probably cover your medical expenses as well.

Good luck (and don't get in this situation again).

Answer 6

If you feel that someone else could give your child a better life than you can, it is not selfish at all. There are a lot of great people who really want to be parents and if you do not feel that you are ready for that type of responsibility, by all means give your child the opportunity to excel and grow with parents that will provide a better future.

You could always go for an open adoption, which means that you will be able to see and talk to your child. This might be a good situation for all involved. You can explain to your daughter when she is old enough to understand why you gave her to the loving family that she is with and she won't have to wonder for the rest of her life.

Answer 7

i believe it should be in the best interest for the baby. if you can definitely give the child a happy life than i would keep it but if it has the chance of not having the best life (not saying you would be a bad parent) it might be better to give it up for adoption give another family the chance to give it a good life. hope this helps without sounding too rude. good luck what ever you decide i don't think your selfish.

Answer 8

If I were you I would.Your reasons aren't really selfish, as long as you've learned your lesson.I'm glad your considering adoption instead of abortion.A 17 year old is still a child anyway and doesn't need to be a parent in my book.It's not a selfish decision because your putting your babies best interest first.

Answer 9

Sometimes the greatest gift a mother can give a child is to put them up for adoption. Being able to say, "I want my baby to have a better life than the one I can give her." shows amazing strength. Your reasons might sound selfish, but you are strong enough to admit that you're not ready to be a good parent. Give your child the chance at stable, loving parents who can provide for her.

Answer 10

Sounds like you should place the baby in a loving home of a married husband and wife who can not have a child of their own but want nothing more than that. They can love her and raise her to be all that you wish she could be. You can go on with life, go to school, become a doctor or lawyer or something. You can stay in contact with the family. You can give both you and your daughter a chance at life.
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