they don't like me at all. in fact mother in-law called me the anti-christ, completely evil, a few other choice words and to top it all off a pedophile which really pissed me off.how do you just throw that kind of accusation around like that with nothing to back it at all. needless to say we dont speak to each other, although within the last couple of weeks i have had to pick up our son from their house and she was alright towards me even smiled and said hi. still quite angry about the things she said, should i go or make an excuse not to.
2006-11-11 13:44:36 · 20 answers · asked by whatup 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
after our son was born (he's now 6 months) is when she started with the real harsh words. no there is no truth to them in any way, thats just f***ing sick. as for my wife she has always just taken her mothers crap and never asked for an apology. Mother in-law told my wife she was a bad mother and child abuser for not taking our son with her everwhere she went also called her one day and said "well at least my mother loves me". she has calmed down and gotten better since but not a single apology.
2006-11-11 14:06:24 · update #1
I'm in the same situation as you are. I think you should go but if things start to get tense make an excuse and leave. If you really don't want to go send your wife and child and you stay home. I think that your mother-in-law owes you a huge apology. Personally I am working an extra 1/2 of a shift at work to avoid mine. Don't let your horrid in-law make the holidays miserable for your kid, he is more important than an angry woman's petty crap.
2006-11-11 16:05:30 · answer #1 · answered by cas2173 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't make an excuse, you're either going or you're not. They're going to see right through an excuse anywayso why make it? It's hard to imagine having a civil relationship with someone who called you those kinds of things. If it weren't for the second part of your question I would say, "Their message is clear, and until they change it, don't go." But, it sounds like she is making an effort. You're probably not going to like this advise, but I think you should give her a call and ask her if she is ok with you coming. You can tell her (truthfully, and WITHOUT A TUDE) that if she prefers you stay home, you will. You can also say that you don't want your son to hear family fighting and name calling. What a miserable Christmas memory for him. Because you are being generous, (I repeat, NO TUDE) she may be forced to grit her teeth and be nice to you, as you will grit your teeth and be nice to her. But teeth gritting is part of the family experience, and if it gets you through this Christmas, it might get you through more. Good Luck
2006-11-11 21:55:17 · answer #2 · answered by Caper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have to look at the out come of not going. you may have a more enjoyable holiday. but a rotten few months after.
If not going is going to upset your wife.
You could always play it a little evil like the less they make you feel welcomed in their home the more you act like you are right at home under their roof.
But don't be rude towards them why give them legitimate things to gripe about, when all they have now is baseless nonsense
designed to invoke a negative reaction from you.
2006-11-11 21:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by mark_grvr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the man of your family. She should not speak to you that way. How does your wife feel about all this? Talk with her..if she will back you - you reallly need to resolve this. It wil be ugly and painful for a while - but those are some serious words she threw out there - and you should have a talk with your wife and her parents together and hash it out.
2006-11-11 21:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by Amy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. She must have some reason to say these things, so you need to figure out what you have said or done which would make her think these things. Is there some kernel of truth in there? If there is anything and it was possibly misinterpreted, you should explain the misunderstanding to her in a courteous, NON-CONFRONTATIONAL, manner.
2. Why should you go to her house for Christmas? Has she invited you? Are you being presumptuous in thinking you are welcome there?
2006-11-11 21:52:33 · answer #5 · answered by idiot detector 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have issues with these people that go way beyond whether or not you spend Christmas with them! Holy cow. They are leveling serious, offensive and in some cases legally offensive attacks on you and you need to either have a conversation with them yourself, or preferably, have your wife seriously talk to them and tell them to STOP. They are, after all, her parents, and she should be mortified they are spewing such accusations and character assaults at her husband. There is nothing wrong with her giving them the expectation/ultimatum that they need to stop these unfounded and offensive attacks, or she will not continue seeing them. Christmas? I wouldn't spend one more moment thinking about that and spend more time deciding how their behavior towards you must change--permanently. You, also, must be civil to them if you expect them to change. If they don't change, don't communicate with them.
2006-11-11 21:53:27 · answer #6 · answered by fried_twinkie1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christmas should be a time of happiness and love and originally being for Christ lol .so if that's the total opposite of what happens at your in laws house than maybe you should not invest on making that trip to misery
2006-11-11 21:48:38 · answer #7 · answered by roselyn_okoche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your wife is the one who should answer that question. Whatever accusations the mother made about you should have been faced up to by her daughter/your wife.
I don't think a SIL or DIL should ever have to face the wrath of an inlaw unless they do something unforgivable.
Talk to your wife- tell her to talk to her mother.
2006-11-11 21:48:56 · answer #8 · answered by Mommyk232 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should suck it up and go... If you make an excuse, it will just strain the relationship even more. Maybe if you try to make it seem like you care, things will change for the better.
2006-11-11 21:46:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a tough situation. I would say maybe go for an hour but if your inlaws start with you leave. At least that way your inlaws can't say you didn't try to put the past aside.
2006-11-11 21:47:06 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋