How would you feel if you were told to keep your child home from church?

Question

My mother runs a daycare from the home and has children on wknds also. The church bus picks up the children and takes them to Sunday School. Apparently one parent was told not to send her 6 yr. old little girl any longer as she has bad behaviours. This girl is a foster child and has already had anguish in being pulled away from her Mommy , now this? In my opinion this stinks. This child will always remember this, what kind of start in her spiritual journey is this? I can easily see her as young woman saying " I went to Sunday School as a child til they told me not to come back so screw that business". What do you think? I want to talk to the Pastor as I am having a hard time believing he even knows about this. Yes?

Answer 1

Like you I would go and talk with the pastor and explain the child's situation to him/her. That is a very sad case indeed when someone would tell a child not to come to church. If she has behavior problems they are probably deep rooted and that is exactly what a pastor is for. If he cannot personally help I am sure there must be someone in the church who can. Our church is full of school teachers and counselors. They do this for a living. To be able to help one child who may be in dire need would give them so much blessing. Don't give up on your quest. Someone needs to look out for this child's welfare. Sounds like she has been thrown aside enough. God bless you and my prayers are with you.

Answer 2

Definitely!!! first try talking to the person that doesn't want the child to return...find out the core of the request.....what "bad behaviors" does this child show. Does this person realize the situation the child is in...sometimes ppl judge others without knowing the causes behind their actions. The person may show a lil more compassion if made aware of this child's history. If you still get "nowhere" with the person requesting the child be removed from sunday school then go above her/his head to the pastor. Give the staff a chance to change their BAD BEHAVIORS of neglecting this child spiritual growth.
I agree 100% with you about the effects this will have on this young girl and do feel you should persue a solution that will benefit her. If you cannot get anywhere with that particular church, maybe it's time to join a new one...one less judgemental and more forgiving and supportive. As we all know, not everyone is perfect and thank GOD for that :0)
Good Luck and God Bless :0)
marjenl72

Answer 3

I serve in the Children's ministry at my church and we often have a large number of children per teacher. If a child refuses to obey the teacher and the parents can't impress upon the child the importance of doing so then the only other option is for the child to be kept out of class because these kids ruin the class for everyone else. Now if the parents want to allow the teacher to discipline the child with a spanking to get them to obey that would be different.

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

But when you have a 6 year old refusing to sit down and be quiet or to stop running around or hitting other children or spitting or kicking or whatever other behavior they are engaging in and as an adult all you can do is put the class on hold until the parent can be located to remove the child as you try as gently as you can to restrain them..... well, do you see my point?

Answer 4

Well, if they profess to be Christians, they would have Mercy upon this little girl. Isnt it said that Jesus healed the sick and the blind, and that he was sent here for the sinners? That little girl is emotionally sick and suffering.

I am a Teacher, and I know how hard it is to deal with "bad children"--it can be very draining, upsetting, and tiring. I do understand what that Sunday School Teacher is going through. I think that your Mom should work together with the Sunday school Teacher on this: if you and your Mom truly believes that girl should stay in the school--then you and your Mom should go there with the little girl and stay there the whole time to monitor and correct her behavior in class..Teachers are not babysitters, and its hard to teach an entire class if a child is running, kicking, not listeing, and being very disruptive. It takes a village to raise a child--and Teachers can not do it alone. You cant just look at the Sunday School as a "babysittng service". If you and your Mom arent willing to put in as much work as you expect that Teacher to put in--then you have no right to complain. Good Luck

Answer 5

That is the most logical option. The Pastor may know what can be done.
Of course - being 6 a child should know how to behave when not a home. May be practice during the week, being respectfully quiet and reviewing what is going on in the church. May be she is reacting to a stimulus adults don't know about.
One parent - not anyone in charge? Then go straight to the pastor and fight!
Yes - fight.

Answer 6

I would be really pissed off, and if I couldn't smooth the situation out, I'd go to a new parish. Spirituality is a very important thing for all people, especially children, and especially children who've had a difficult life. You are right in wanting to talk to your pastor; hopefully he will embrace the girl, and help the woman understand that God embraces all people. If you get the chance to talk with her, remind her of the time when Jesus said he was like a doctor, and that healthy people don't need healing but the sick do.

Answer 7

Yes. Good grief, yes. By all means, talk to the pastor and the deacons.

Understand though, while going to church is every child's right, it is also an adult responsibility. Maybe an adult could accompany her next time. You will run into this at most any church. The children's teachers are not school teachers, in most cases, and they don't have the same training to deal with problematic children.

Put yourself in their shoes. If you had no way of controling this child, other than sitting her in the corner for a while, how would you deal with her?

I deal with alot of non-believers who send their kids to church just to get them out of their hair for awhile, or who think they're gaining points with God by sending them. While we offer a nursery during services, we are not a daycare.

I have a little boy in my neighborhood who has ADHD and ASPD. He recently gave his life to Christ, but he's still only 8 - still a child with childish behaviors. His mother does not reinforce the things he learns in church, so every Sun & Wed, it's like starting all over again. I can't count the number of times I've been pulled out of services because of his outlandish and disrespectful behaivior. Every time I pick him up, I have to pray and ask God to give me the patience and the right words to use when correcting him. I pray for his teachers as well. Mostly, I pray for him.

This child shouldn't be punished by not being able to go to church. She should be welcomed, but at the same time, she needs a mentor who will help her in gaining maturity. Maybe one of the youth or younger women would be willing to sit with her.

If worse comes to worse, find her another church.

Answer 8

I would go to the source of the remark and make them aware of what purpose they are attempting to achieve. Perhaps this child is disrupting the other kids from learning, but to throw her out of church is unthinkable. She may need a 'big sister' during that time, until she is better able to blend.

By all means resolve the problem. Don't walk away from it, or someone else could be hurt in the future. The pastor must be informed.

Answer 9

Talk to the pastor and judge from the reaction whether you might need to find a different church. I think there is something seriously wrong if they would turn away any child, but it could just be one Sunday school teacher who perhaps should not be a Sunday school teacher.

You should definitely make the pastor aware of the situation.

Answer 10

THAT'S TERRIBLE! If the child is really behaving that badly then they need to go directly to the foster parents for resolution. Sunday school isn't just for the well behaved. Quite the contrary. This is a challenge to the Sunday School teacher to give something to this child that she is lacking. She's a CHILD and only knows what she has learned and has been taught. I would absolutely go to the Pastor and speak with him. Just be sure you approach him with grace and love. Perhaps they could find another class she could join that's close to her age group but not with the same teacher.