A question on the notion of homosexuals being "born that way"?

Question

Let's negate for a moment the idea of whether science has proven or disproven the origin of homosexuality (i.e., nurture versus nature). I don't want to hear any answere about whether "science has proven" or "science hasn't proven" yada yada.

I just want to know what everybody thinks about the idea of homosexuals being "born" the way they are. It strikes me as funny that heterosexuals who are "against" homosexuality (think it's a sin, whatever) can be SO CERTAIN that gays and lesibans are not born the way they are. If you aren't homosexual yourself, how can you possibly know whether a homosexual is "born" the way they are? You're not in their shoes; how can you possibly know.

That's what I think, anyway; I'm interested in other opinions.

This is in the "religious" category because I'm anticipating many of the answers having to do with religion, in case you're wondering.

mosikia: Very beautifully said. Thank you.

Isis: Good for you--except the part about being denied your basic rights. I hope that some day we look back on this part of our history with as much shame and regret as we now look back at the days of racial segregation.

Kaye: I think that's a definite possibility, and even if some people are homosexual by choice, I think it's their choice to make. I don't think homosexuality has to be genetically determined for it to be "okay".

Don H: How true.

Thanks everybody for your great answers so far! I have faith in the future in the human race because of people like you! :)

Mila: The bible doesn't say anything about dinosaurs either. But I suppose the devil put those bones there just to make us think un-Christian things too, huh? And I think you mean "accept", not "except".

Hand of Justice: I am finding it hard to comprehend your comparison of homosexuals to murderers; who, precisely, are homosexuals hurting with their actions, and why do they need to be excused?

"Irregardless" is not a word, by the way.

epostil11: You make a couple of reasonable points, but I fail to see the similarity between alcoholics and homosexuals: alcoholics are harmful to themselves and often to others, therefore it is sensible to try to correct or curb that behavior; but HOW is homosexual behavior harmful to anyway? Why does it need to be "corrected"?

Answer 1

I can only tell you that to a person every gay person I’ve discussed this with tells me they believes they were born gay. They tell me of feeling that way from a very young age. The people I’ve spoken with come from a variety of family situations and it would be difficult to find a common thread to say this made them gay.

It seems reasonable to me that people who are gay are in a far better position to know whether they were born that way that those who are not.

Answer 2

All I have to say about the matter is nobody is born Gay or lesibian!!!!! that is the devil making you think that. They want you to believe they are born gay so you can start excepting them, just like with mentally challenged people. I will not except what is not normal unless you are a mentally challenged person(E.g. cognitively delayed, facial deformities, etc.) or some other problem that isn't outrageous. But I will not except homosexuals, it's not about there personality some of them are nice and stuff, but I just except there actions. Nobody is born gay!!! You can not wake up and just say I think I'm gay or lesibian. Read Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 18:2, and 1Corithians 7:2-3 NONE OF THESE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT 2 MEN OR 2 WOMEN!!!!!!!! IT IS WRONG AND THEY ARE NOT BORN GAY.
Many people I believe are gay or lesbian is because they weren't taught the right way, they had something happen to them that made them turn to the same sex, or they have a demonic spirit that makes them make believe they are the opposite of what they are. Some people just need prayer and need to be shown the truth because their actions are NOT NORMAL AT ALL!

Answer 3

Because something was not chosen does not mean it was inborn. Some desires are acquired or strengthened by habituation and conditioning instead of by conscious choice. For example, no one chooses to be an alcoholic, but one can become habituated to alcohol. Just as one can acquire alcoholic desires (by repeatedly becoming intoxicated) without consciously choosing them, so one may acquire homosexual desires (by engaging in homosexual fantasies or behavior) without consciously choosing them.

Since sexual desire is subject to a high degree of cognitive conditioning in humans (there is no biological reason why we find certain scents, forms of dress, or forms of underwear sexually stimulating), it would be most unusual if homosexual desires were not subject to a similar degree of cognitive conditioning.

Even if there is a genetic predisposition toward homosexuality (and studies on this point are inconclusive), the behavior remains unnatural because homosexuality is still not part of the natural design of humanity. It does not make homosexual behavior acceptable; other behaviors are not rendered acceptable simply because there may be a genetic predisposition toward them.

For example, scientific studies suggest some people are born with a hereditary disposition to alcoholism, but no one would argue someone ought to fulfill these inborn urges by becoming an alcoholic. Alcoholism is not an acceptable "lifestyle" any more than homosexuality is.

They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.

This is a church approved ministry for people of same-sex attractions:
http://couragerc.org/

Answer 4

I think that the only way a person can be "born" homosexual is in being born with a disposition to that sin. Just as a person can be born with a disposition to alcoholism or insecurity or even fits of rage, I think that in some ways people might be able to be born with a disposition to homosexuality. I believe this does not excuse them nor anyone else of their sin and I believe that empty moralists are just a bad off as homosexuals. God does not hate homosexuals but He does hate the abomination of His creation. We cannot excuse homosexuality just as much as we cannot excuse adultery, rape, murder, empty morality, and even idolatry of the family.
Now, what did you mean, "how can we know?" Were you questioning if we could know if they were born that way or not or if we could know if it was wrong or not? At the end of the day, it's doesn't matter if they are born that way or not, God has clearly identified homosexuality as sin in His word. Now, I am not elevating it above anything else but just wanting to be clear.

Answer 5

I agree with you. The way I see it is, I was born heterosexual, and nothing can change that. If it were "normal" to be homosexual, then I couldn't suddenly change my mind, could I? That's how it is for homosexuals. Also, why would anyone choose to be homosexual? I don't mean that in a mean way, rather I am asking why anyone would risk being disowned, being outcast, being discriminated against- as homosexuals are every day- simply on a whim. Wouldn't a person only risk those things because they felt that doing otherwise would be betraying themselves? Anyway, that's just my two cents.

Answer 6

I honestly believe Some are born that way. I think others make a choice.

EDIT: It is my belief that I should not judge. It is not my position to do so, it's Gods. I do believe homosexuality is a sin. Do I believe there are homosexuals in Heaven? Yes.

EDIT 2: I don't rate sins either. We all are sinners.

Answer 7

The whole "being born gay" argument came into being because gays need a reason to normalize and excuse what they do.

Irregardless, if people are born towards an inclination to be attracted to the same sex that makes little difference. God called it a sin and detestable. People are scientifically born with an inclination towards aggression and violence. Does that mean people are born murderers? I dont hear too many people speaking up for them trying to excuse what they do? And yes murder and homosexuality are both sins, both wrong.

Answer 8

I am a Christian. I believe homosexuals are born that way. Just as alcoholics are born that way. That doesn't mean you act on that "urge".

I have sin dwelling in me. I was born this way. The question is, do I act on them, or do i choose to believe the ethics of "sin" as delineated in the bible or some other religion? If so, do i reign in these urges and develop discipline to not act on them.

Scripturally, homosexuality is treated as one of the evilest sins. That is why you see so many religions ( not just Christianity) get "up in arms" about it.

I have, since becoming a Christian, learned to deal with: anger, sexual immorality, drugs and my ego. I choose to do this. I believe it is my obligation as a believer to be as sin-free as possible.

I try hard to not be judgmental with anyone, but if asked, i will tell someone what i think of their lifestyle. I love everyone, and will help anyone who wants to change their life.

Answer 9

I absolutely believe homosexuals are born that way, however, I feel that life lessons may contribute a bit. For instance, I know a woman who is bisexual. She was once married to a man, had a baby, everthing was great and then they got a divorce. She decided to cross to the other side and try her hand at women. She likes both genders but seems to prefer women. Now, I happen to know that she was raised by a mother who pretty much made her fend for herself and who basically abandoned her and geographically separated her from her father for many years. Her father died before she had an opportunity to really get to know him. She was placed in counseling after her father's death, but the counselor said her primary issue was not so much her father's death (she was very sad but handeling it as well as could be expected) but more her lack of mothering. The counselor (as told to me by the grandparent who placed her in counseling) stated that she had many deep-rooted issues from her lack of mothering and abandonment. I can't be sure, but I suspect that she might not lean towards women as heavily as she does had it not been for her mother and her issues. Would she still be gay? Probably. But would she still be primarily with women given the fact that she DOES like men? Probably not. She's actively seeking in women the love she never received from her mother. I think Nuture vs nature applies both ways but it's case by case and it all comes down to still being born that way but influences play a part.

Answer 10

I would bet that most of the heterosexuals who are certain that gays and lesbians AREN'T born "that way" believe with equal certainty that heterosexuals ARE born that way. Seems to me that you can't have this one both ways. And the nature vs nurture thing is interesting as well. All of my gay and lesbian friends say their parents are heterosexual. So much for nurture. I just think that we need to put this debate of "are they born that way?" to rest forever. It doesn't matter anyway. It's not my--or anyone else's--business who someone is attracted to or when or how that attraction developed.