Teenage mothers: pros/cons on giving up for adoption?

Question

No. I am not a teenage mother, nor am I sexually active.

Anyways, here are my opinions on giving your baby up for adoption.

Pros:

-The child may end up having a better home. Someone who can give him/her their basic needs. (e.g food, clothing, education)

-Better life. More oppurtunites.

-The teen mother can actually get on with her life and get an education.

-Not as much social embaressment and bullying. If you're pregnant + in highschool, you're bound to be bullied.

Cons:

-Child may grow up feeling as if something from their life is missing.

-Might wish they knew his/her parents.

-Might feel weird because he/she might not look like their adoptive parents.

-Might not know the health risks in biological family. It's important to know these things.

You don't have to agree with any of these points but if you're a teen mom please try keeping or adoption for the baby. Don't choose abortion. It's wrong. Your mother could've aborted you she didn't.

Think!

Answer 1

hmmm...I was a teen mom. All of the pros you listed for adoption were the pros for keeping my child in my case. I didn't have an abortion. You CAN be a good mom and give your child everything he or she needs as long as you WORK for it. You can't expect everything to be handed over to you like they were in the past. With hard work and patience, a teen mom can do it.

Answer 2

I know an 18 year-old girl who recently gave her child to a loving family who could not have children of their own. There have been pros and cons in the process, and I believe that will continue (she is sad about her decision at times, but mostly feels that she made the right choice. the baby is in a much better position as far as being raised responsibly)
I think that she made a great decision: she went with "open adoption". Now, I am no expert on the full details of an "open adoption", but basically she is allowed to be in contact with the adoptive parents and they send her pics of the baby and correspond often. I'm not sure if this is a permanent agreement or if it's only while the child is young, etc. But I do know that this has helped her TREMENDOUSLY to cope with her decision, rather than having 100% taken away and always wondering what the baby looks like, how she's doing, etc.
I suppose the negative side to this could be that if this contact continues as the child grows up, there could be issues with the mom trying to get the child back or something...but maybe that's protected by contract or somehow.
Anyway, I think this was a very mature, responsible, and unselfish decision on her behalf.

Answer 3

The mother (teen) has the right to make n adoption plan for the child with whoever she wants to. The Grandmother who wants to adopt her grandchild can go to court and ask for rights, but she would have to prove the mother (teen) is making a decision that is not in the best interest of the child, which would be pretty hard to do if the teen is going through an agency to find a good family. If Grandma went to court, Mom would have representation and would be able to tell the judge why the baby shouldn't be with Grandma. Grandma can not just step in and take the baby if Mom says no

Answer 4

I'm only 12 years old, and I agree with u all the way. Especially on the abortion part. That is soooo wrong. i mean when u get an abortion your rembering yourself, but forgetting someone, and the baby is still alive when they suck out all the spinal juice or whatever. I wanna cry everytime someone even considers abortion. I mean my great-grandma had money then lost her job and had my grandma, well she couldn't afford to give her a good home, so she gave my grandma away when she was like 6 months old. I mean instead of abortion, u can put hiim/her up 4 adoption, or even give him/her away. I mean even if your adopted u have a better family and all, but in the back of your mind u always think that 'I wonder' or 'what if'. I agree with u sooo much. Thanks for bringing up this point.

Answer 5

I have 2 adopted foster children - their mom was young, fertile, and like abusive men - the state took all of her children from her, and they stayed in the "system" for 4+ years, before finally being available for adoption.

Their dad is a heroin addict.

I guess my children can curse me out when they grow up, and look for their biological parents - but interestingly enough, they look like me, they have my mannerisms, my social outlook. They are high risk children and eligible for special programs, and even though I have college funds for them, they may never be able to attend. But I, for one, was very glad that their bio mom didn't choose abortion - although she ultimately lost all of her children because of her inability to parent, she created 3 new families with children.

Answer 6

I think that anyone saying abortion is OK after reading this question with the very thoughtful pro's and con's listed is completely inhuman!

Yeah, go ahead and kill your baby because you are selfish and think that the baby is better off dead than in an adopted home. Go down that slippery slope of "what if's" if it makes you feel better for having your baby sucked out of your vagina.

Abortion is NOT ok under any circumstances.

Maybe some of you think this is an offensive post, but I think that anyone saying that killing is OK is offensive.

Answer 7

Add on to yours

Cons
Youll never know what your baby grew up to look like

You'll go through a complete emotional break down

Your boobs will hurt for days and days at a time...and youll feel guilty to know that they need the baby and the baby needs you

Pro's

You didnt kill anyone

You dont have to wake up to a screaming baby when your only 12

You get to grow up and actually enjoy your life and so does your child

You both get to move on with your lives...





Nothing beats waking up everyday and seeing your child smiling at your and saying i love you mommy

Answer 8

u know if u deside to make a baby u should not put it up for adoptiontake care of it the best way u can the baby needs to be with its real parents if not dont make a baby wear condums thats what there for

Answer 9

Thank you for posting that. I agree with you 100%. (am not teen parent, am fixing to be parent but have not been teenager for many years, husband can contest to that)

Answer 10

Cons:
The child will end up looking for his/her biological parents and cursing them out for not wanting him/her.

Upon finding out that he/she was adopted, the child may curse out his/her adoptive parents and yell "you're not my real mom/dad!" when he/she is mad at them.

The kid may resort to a terrible lifestyle (drugs, prostitution, metal problems, etc) because they feel unwanted/unloved.

The adoptive parents may only have adopted the kid just to get the money.

The kid may never be adopted and will grow up knowing that NO ONE wanted him/her.

The kid's father may have raped his/her biological parent and grow up knowing that he/she was never truly wanted.

The kid will be messed up if he/she goes from foster home to foster home.

The kid may have killed his/her mother at birth and could grow up knowing that.

Not all adoption places are well funded or nice, the kid may be abused by the people who run them.

The kid may be neglected because the adoption place may be overcrowded since everyone is giving up their kids because they can't take care of them or were victims of rape and can't bear to take care of the kid.

Classmates may pick on the kid and call him/her a bastard that no one wanted. It happens.

Etc.

How dare you tell people that abortion is wrong. What people choose to do with their life is none of your damn business. It doesn't even affect you.