Im a sixteen year old girl and i have been having trouble with my real mom lately and i have been wanting to visit my dad. He says im allowed to come to his house whenever i want to, but when ever i ask, he says he has to ask his wife first. And today she told him i couldn't come to his house because it was his weekoff from having me and they were going out. I called later that night and i talk to my dad and asked how his night out was. He told me the people called and canceled. I asked once again if i could come out and spend the night and again he said he had to ask his wife. And the answer i got again was no, because its not there week to have me. Why wont my dad stick up for me? And am i right to be upset with what is going on, or is my step mom right for not letting me come out?
2006-11-11 12:25:12 · 12 answers · asked by tinkerstinker_99 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell your dad how you see it, and see what he says. If you think he is making excuses, don't call him a lier, but repeat the question till you think you get an honest answer. (He will be reluctant to tell you the truth if he thinks it will hurt you.) Oh, you might also try being warm and friendly to his wife, so she does not feel like she is left out when you visit.
2006-11-11 12:32:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Beat her with a poll cue!!! Not really, but you should talk to your dad; tell him how you feel. If things don't change after the talk then DUMP HIM!!! It's really a sad reality today that some people will let their spouses come between them and their kids, it sounds like a mean thing to say but it seems like your step mother may be one of those people. I am a father of two and if my wife ever told me not to have my kids aroud I would throw her off a cliff (not really but I'd tell her to leave, but she would never do that because she loves them as though they were her own), nothing should ever come between a parent and their kids, if a parent does let that happen then they do not deserve the love of their kid.
Go ahead and forward this message to your dad if you want, I'd be happy to point these things out to him.
2006-11-11 12:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's fair of your step-mom to not allow you over. How long have they been married? It sounds to me like she's insecure and she wants to monopolize all of your dads time. Maybe the next time it IS your weekend, see if you can go out with just your dad. Let him know that the fact that he checks with his wife before allowing you to come over makes you feel like he doesn't want you over there unless it's your scheduled time. Let him know that things aren't so hot with your mom and sometimes you just need a safe place to be. If that doesn't work, it might have to come down to your mom talking to him(if she would) or having it somehow put into the custody agreement that he has every other weekend and X Y or Z days, as well as any time you feel you need to not be home.
Good luck! I'm sorry you have to deal with crap like this. :(
2006-11-11 12:30:14 · answer #3 · answered by Moxie1313 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it seems unfair to me your dad told you no but I don't know how you react around your dad and your step family. Sometimes emotions can go crazy when we speak to one another and we start to argue then yell. Write down how you feel about your situation. Write how you would like it to be then give each parent a copy and let them read it. Ask them to come up with solutions but try not to put blame anywhere. If you stay positive there is more of a chance the outcome will be to. But...be willing to compromise
2006-11-11 13:09:20 · answer #4 · answered by dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are probably following the court ordered visitations- so when it is your weekend to visit they better let you visit- and it needs to be okayed w your mom and him for extra visits- and maybe they all need there breaks from kids and want some time alone- so- it may or may not be an issue of dad sticking up for you- that is part of the divorce -garbage- and remarriage-and results- it is the pits- D
2006-11-11 12:44:47 · answer #5 · answered by Debby B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your dad is putting all this on his wife. Does he want you to come or not? If he really did, he would tell you to come. Your dad is weak. And not a very good dad either. So sorry you are missing out on him.
2006-11-11 12:35:10 · answer #6 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset, your step mother is a b***h, just like mine! Is she a lot younger than your dad? Probably, it's always the young ones... I feel bad for you. If you have a way to get there I would go anyway. If they ever had kids would she tell her child "no, it's not my turn to......" (fill in the blank)?
2006-11-11 12:30:43 · answer #7 · answered by NCMOMMAAC 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you have the right to be upset! Let your Dad know how you feel. When your stepmother isn't home, call and talk to him. Let him know that you know she is the reason that he says no. Let him know how that makes you feel. Good luck!
2006-11-11 12:30:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
time for an open chat with the step mom & your dad by the sounds of things, you're certainly old enough to handle this.
2006-11-11 12:28:10 · answer #9 · answered by Almighty_Dread 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the way i c it is that ur step mom doesn't want u around at all and dad is just scared of his wife
2006-11-11 12:29:37 · answer #10 · answered by jaijay34 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋