my 7 year old daughter slap her grandma because she was annoyed?

Question

that grandma made her washed her hands before dinner and she didn't want to.She slapped grandma very hard on the face , i made her say sorry and was sent to her room without privileges.My husband says i was too soft and i should have spank her.I he right ? He wasn't home,he might have done it.What should i do now ???

Answer 1

oh ya, your husband was oh-so-right. I don't know how long it's been since she did it, but I would step aside and let dad's be dad's. Good fathers don't allow that stuff to fly with them, (sounds like you married one). She is 7, not 2 or 3. She still remembers what she has done. Usually I would say that to much time has past since the crime has been committed, however i wouldn't put a statute of limitations on slapping grandma.

In your case I would have dad enforce his consequence of spanking. If your daughter thinks this is unfair, just explain that after slapping grandma, no punishment is unfair. If you can't stand to be near, or with-in ear shot, go and take a walk around the block. Let dad do his job.

To DAD- This had BETTER be a spanking of the pants down verity, my girls always get them this way, but some parents prefer to use the bare bottom approach with major offenses only. Yes this is one of those times. make this one she won't forget.

I am not saying dad's are the only ones to spank, I do my share, but i think good dads, demand they do them with the major offenses.

Good Luck

Answer 2

First of all, you and your husband should agree on matters of discipline and present a unified front on what is/is not acceptable behavior, and the consequences of it. By "protecting" your daugher now, you teach her to play the ends against the middle and view Dad as the bad guy. Step up to the plate mom, and be mom- including some discipline that doesn't exclude Dad. By her age, she knows better that to slap and hit, and to run off from anybody. I'd put a harness on that child with a padlock if necessary, to keep her buns from running off. And when she complained, I tell her that when she acted like she had more sense than a three year old, she'd get treated like a 6 year old. Sounds like she has been much to indulged and if you don't get her under control now, you will never do it. If she's scarey now at 6, imagine what she's headed for in another 6 years. Personally I don't think just a "time out" was sufficient. Maybe a well placed swat to the derrierre, and an apology to Grandma, followed by some quality "thinking" time in a boring chair. And some promised serious consequences, with Dad's knowledge and consent, in the future. Promises to be kept, not threats to be laughed off, either.

Answer 3

WOW.. I am sure that was quite the ordeal. I have read that some people say "slap her back".. I TOTALLY disagree. You cannot hit her and tell her not to hit. You cannot scream and tell her not to scream at you. My advice to you is to make her understand that hitting will not change what she has to do. At 7 she knows that slapping is NOT acceptable. I would make her apologize to her grandmother, and take priviledges away just like you did. HOWEVER, the root of the problem is still not fixed. What makes her think tha slapping is going to let her get her way? Ask her what is going on and why she would do that. She is old enough to tell you. Let her know that it is not going to happen again and if it does, that serious consequences will follow. I would send her to her Grandmothers for about 3 hours and let her grandma work her a little. dust, take out garbage, vacuum, all that. I have found with my daughter, that work makes them think. Dont ease up on her. She has to know this isnt right.

Answer 4

Yes she should have gotten a spanking and time out as well. If kids know that if they do something bad, all thats going to happen is them being sent to their room, you best believe they will do it again. Spankings are necessary, of course I dont mean to take it to the extreme, I think child abuse is the worst crime ever! Some people dont know the difference, so some people may not agree because they see it as the same thing, but there is a huge difference and you dont need to hurt a child to get your point across. She needed a spanking in that situation

Answer 5

Okay the way that I look at is that we were probably spanked when we were kids for something that we did wrong and we all came out ok. But slapping my grandmother is nothing that I would have even thought of doing. Yes she would have been spanked and the privileges would have been gone. I am now 26 years old and still to this day respect the elders in my family and would NEVER think of doing something like that. These are thepeople that you are supposed to respect the most

Answer 6

You tell'm Chuck C. You got my thumbs up.

Yes, you were way to soft on her. Slapping her Grandma in the face was completely unacceptable. Of course you should have spanked her!!!! Or better yet like Chuck said Grandma should have slapped her back. For all those anti-spanker's out there: when are you going to realize discipline is a good and necessary thing. Time out is not always enough.

Answer 7

1. punish the child in the way they will understand. Some kids don't handle spankings as well as shaming them or taking them away from a favorite activity/toy. Others do. But a good explanation of why it was wrong, and reinforcing grandmother's authority it definately in order. You might tell her she can't spend time with her friend for a while if this is the way she handles herself. And have the kid do something for grandmother. The lesson: apologize AND try to make it up to them.

2. You need to question where the child could have seen this type of aggressive behavior to think it was acceptable. Does she spend time with any adults that "jump" every time they're upset? Modeling is the biggest way kids learn how to behave. Do any adults she's around lash out as their first response to things? You'll need to address that if so and consider limiting their exposure to that person and/or talk to the person about the kind of influence they're being on your daughter.

Answer 8

I'm from the old school and spare the rod and spoil the child. There is a difference between a spanking and a beating. A good little smack back in the face would have been very effective in getting this spoiled ungrateful brats attention. I can just imagine the hurt this has caused with her grandma. Actually the grandma should have been the one to have smacked her back. This will build up respect between the two.

Answer 9

nothing! you gave her the punishment that you felt was the right one at the time. you cant turn around and spank her now. also why do parents slap their children for slapping???? does that make sense? you should talk to your daughter for the way she acted. i also don't think that you should have made her say she was sorry. when a parents makes the child say that they are sorry it does not come from the child's heart. they are only doing it because they are being made too. i think that you should have had a talk with your daughter and made her realize what she did and how that made you and gram feel. then she may have said that she was sorry, with out you telling her. there for it would have come from the heart. and would have meant more to grama and your daughter.

Answer 10

That is a difficult question, While I do spank my own children, we leave that punishment as a last resort. However if you strike a child for that same offense doesn't it stand to reason that you are sending a mixed signal? In that case I do feel you did the right thing. The punishment should always fit the crime. Striking her for striking her grandmother would not teach her that it is inappropriate to hit others. Explain to her after the time out how that makes her grandma feel and ask her how she feels when others hit her. HElp her to make the connection betwen her feelings and the fact that other feel the same when they are struck.