how do i reassure him?

Question

my bf is feeling lost, vulnerable and lonely, he said he wants and needs me there. but i'm in another country. how can i reassure him? i told him i am there for him but it doesn't seem to be enough

Answer 1

The harsh truth is there is nothing you can do. He needs to feel confident and positive about himself because of himself. If he is depending on you to make him feel better, ultimately he will end up resenting you and feeling worse.

All you can do is tell him the truth - that you are there for him, and support him, and are with him for any decisions he decides to make and that he can count on you to talk to. He is the one that needs to make changes in his life so that he is satisfied with himself independently of you.

Blaming his unhappiness on his relationship with you puts a very heavy burden on the relationship. Because it is impossible for you to solve, it will just wear the both of you down, and nothing will get solved.

Maybe he should try talking to someone, new hobby, work out, change of career, something like that - keep him busy.

Answer 2

1. Why r u 2 separated? 2. Does he want to find someone who will be with him? Or is he saving himself 4 u? 3. Send him Love notes etc. constantly to reassure your love for him like a little kid, vulnerable to what? Lonely yeah, but??? I think he is giving ya a line or you think too less of him.

Answer 3

Ask him if it's anything specific that's making feel that way. Ask if there's any way you could make the situation better or at least attempt to. In order to resolve a problem,you must find out what it is. Re-assure him again and again, that you are just a phone call away and that you are deeply sorry you cannot be there in person to improve things. Tell him, you love him and care for him and are always thinking about him. Make him feel wanted and loved despite the distance between you

Answer 4

Maybe you should talk to him more. If youre not spending much time chatting or phoning or exchanging letters, things that are going on in your daily life...that should help him.
I know his feeling....my 'bf' is in another country but I rarely hear from him ...that's what makes me feel so lonely etc. :( Good luck. Peace.

Answer 5

Sometimes it's not enough. Guys have feelings too, and alot of girls don't get that. Sometimes we need someone there physically to give us a kiss when we see them, to hold our hand as we walk down the street or to cuddle with while in bed watching tv.

Answer 6

Well your probably really busy doing whatever your doing in another county and he probably has a lot of time to think about you tell him to do something that will help occupy his mind. Or call it quits until you get back

Answer 7

Send him some thing that is heart felt. Something that only special to you and him. Maybe you can get web cams and actually see him that way.

Answer 8

You can't. These are his own insecurity and neediness issues. All you can do is what you are doing and that's it. He has to deal with his insecurity of you not being around and get over it. He's being immature.

Answer 9

you can only do so much when you're in a different place. stay online, and talk to him, that's as much as you can do. Make him feel better by listening to him and comfort him with words.

my husband's in a different country, and I know it's hard, there's only just so much you can do when you're away.

Answer 10

aww that is hard Im sorry, i am goign through that cuz my fiance is in Kuwait. just do it more then just verbally, write letters, come up with cute ideas to send him and just remain calm when he says its not enough. he will come around. good luck!