How to deal with 18yr old son who doesnt listen to parents ?

Question

My son is a high school senior and last year he was just ur normal teenager but since his senior year has started he has not been going to school, we have caught him smoking, we have taken his cellphone but whatever we say to him he just says he doesnt care and we truly dont know what to do does any1 have any tips on how to deal with this, thanx for any help in advance

to answer mark grvr yes we have already caught him sellin drugs and he has stop since but the behavior still has not changed and as for moving him out i dont think my wife would be okay with that

Answer 1

let him move out and face the real world.

Answer 2

Sounds like me when I hit about 17yrs old I know with me the biggest reason why I became less then the ideal teenager was because I found a new group of friends and a new hobby which I turned into a very lucrative money making venture. meaning I had no time to deal with the restriction placed on me by my parents because I was too busy selling drugs.
Have you givin any thought to the possibilty of him being involved in that kind of situation?
It's easy not to see the signs pointing to something that you as a parent are naturally afraid to even think about being possible.

Answer 3

i've got in basic terms met a million 2 y/o who grew to become into an exceptionally solid listener. Oh and that i could positioned up that's being pregnant & Parenting, b/c lots of the people on listed decrease than are 17 & decrease than. day out works wonders. Make him sit down there for 3 minutes each and every time he does not hear & provide him a sticky label whilst he does hear.

Answer 4

Hard Love. And that's what it is. His 18 and is considered an adult now so you may have to give him some options. If his not going to go to school you can't make him because he can quite now if he wants. He doesn't want to show you respect so what I suggest your not going to like but he has to learn what life is about and quit letting him think he can come and go as he pleases with no consequences. Give him the choice of getting himself straight and act right or get out.Believe me it works. He will probably go but he'll be OK. You'll both worry ; but that's normal, his your son and you want him to be happy. But his 18 now so there not much either of you can do anymore. You did your best and now his on his own. Since he thinks he can make his own decision about weather he go's to school or not and how he acts then OK. Let him make them and just let him know there are always consequences to everything he does and he needs to be wise and make the right decision. Just let him know you love him and you wants what's best for him but his going to have to straighten up and get on the right track. Be firm. Don't let him bluff you. You'll hear it all too. Everything from ' ' YA'LL DON'T LOVE ME OR YA'll DON'T CARE . You'll hear " How am I going to make it on my own?I don't have a job or money .Give him some money and tell him to get a job by then end of the week or the end of the month, what ever you decide.But don't let him bluff you and try to make you feel bad. Be firm and let him see for himself what it takes to be a man. Let him see how hard it is on his own. He'll come to his sense and he may need to come home but if he does let him know up front ,''This is my house and these are my rules if you can't respect them and you refuse to follow then it would be best for you to look for somewhere else to stay.Give him the option.

Answer 5

Honey he's 18. That makes him an adult. That also means that he does not have to listen to his parents anymore. Given his age & level of disrespect, I would toss him out on his bum. He thinks things are bad at home? Give him a taste of the real world. At 18 you no longer have to legally put up with his disrespectful attitude. Make him stand on his own two feet for a while. He may come to appreciate what he has at home.

Answer 6

Other than telling him to move out there is nothing you can do he's an adult. Are you sure he stopped selling drugs? Nothing like having your door kicked in be SWAT doing a raid on your home then having your home seized because it became a drug house. Not to mention the scum who may do something in retaliation to a deal gone bad etc. Any signs of drugs in the house KICK HIM OUT NOW!

Answer 7

Sometimes its really hard to talk to parents when you know things are going wrong. Perhaps there is an older relative you could ask to talk to him. If it has been a sudden change it could be something major that should be addressed. You could also explain your feelings and as long as he is under your roof you have the right to know his problems that are effecting your whole family, and if he cant talk to you then you WILL set up a therapist to talk with him. Explain your concerns because there are to many kids in turmoil that turn to suicide when they see no way out. God bless and many prayers for you all.

Answer 8

Remind him that he is messing up his rapidly approaching future. Graduation day (should he graduate) may very well be move-out day as well if he doesn't shape up.

Additional details:

If and when the time comes and his tune has not changed, you must insist your wife not merely stand by and enable your son's destructive behavior, that would not be doing for her son what is best.

Answer 9

Time for tough love.

Give him a list of the local apartments for rent and give him 30 days to move out on his own (after graduation). He needs to learn respect and that isn't going to happen as long as he is living under your roof toll free.

Answer 10

Let him go and find the hard way about real life. But be there if he realizes his mistakes and wants to change his ways. Use tough love

Answer 11

sorry to be the bearer of bad news but he isn't her baby anymore he is 18 an adult and he know that her can do w.e he wants becuase your not in charge of him anymoe if your not liking what he is doint treathin him that ur gonna kik him out if he doesn;t change his ways and if he continues kik him out you will see by the next week he will be back in yout house because he doens't know how to outside world it