How do you deal with a difficult relationship?

Question

I do all of the calling, emailing, you name it, in this relationship. I've been dating this guy for over a year and he still hasnt done anything about changing. Its a one-sided relationship, and I dont like it. My friend, David, said I'm too nice of a girl to go through it a second time, he said i just have to think about what i want in a relationship, and if a one-sided relationship isnt something i want, then i should get out of it.

Answer 1

You have to have two to have a relationship...It seems more like an arrangement. Are you happy? Then break it off and go find someone that will treat you as you deserve. BTW...If David told you that you are too nice and he's trying to get you to think about your "relationship"...I'll bet money (if he's single) that he's just waiting for you to make up your mind.

Answer 2

Well you both have a problem. Her need to fight and your need to give in. she obviously has a lot of repressed anger she hasn't dealt with and so directs it at you over anything and everything to avoid dealing with the real stuff, presumably from when she was little. Maybe her dad left the family home or something and she is testing you in some way to see how far she can push you. Maybe by putting up with it and not leaving she some way sees that as you proving you love her? By putting up with it you obviously have some guilt issues you haven't dealt with and so not retaliating is easing the guilt as you're not standing your ground thus giving yourself something else to feel guilty about. This is misplaced guilt and all you are doing is enabling her to be a bully and you to be a doormat. Neither is healthy. Sit her down and ask her to be absolutely honest with you and ask her if she loves you. If she honestly does and you still honestly love her then you have a base to work from. Try and find out where both your issues come from. It will bring up some painful stuff, but this is painful too. She can't possibly be happy arguing all the time any more than you can. If she isn't prepared to work on it or you realise either or both of you have fallen out of love, then walk away. I just hope you don't have children as you would be teaching them how to behave.

Answer 3

If your relationship is one sided it is because you encourage it. If you want to share your life with someone who is going to love you and respect you and be devoted to you, you have to change who you are and what you are willing to put up with. Don't complain about him. He is who he is and maybe because of you. Fix yourself first and the rest will follow. No need to spend your life trying to change someone else. It's not worth the aggravation. When you learn not to settle for anything less you will get so much more. Does this make sense. I wish you well.

Answer 4

Your friend is right I had a friend tell me one time she said Be very picky any little thing you dont like get him out she said she is so right and I wish i would have listened to her instead of learning that the hard way. You are wasting your time with this guy.

Answer 5

He is right a one-sided relationship is terrible and not worth the effort.

Answer 6

stop the calling emailing, etc. if he starts to reciprocate, and misses the attention, then you know he cares.

then if thats the case, let him continue to initiate the contact and work on the relationship.

if not, move on.

Answer 7

Consider this: if you keep doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results each time, you might want to reexamine your thought processes.

Answer 8

tell him bout it, and if its driving you nuts, then he might not be the right guy for you...