hi my daughter want to meet her birth mom and i dont know what to tell her but i know her mom is out there but i dont want her to meet her want do i do???
2006-11-11 10:22:30 · 8 answers · asked by jaymee s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I never got to meet my birthmom, she passed away before I considered doing so, but I did meet my birthdad.
My parents went with me and we all had breakfast.
I think it helped me identify myself, and eventually understand why I'm in the situation I'm in.
I think you should let them eventually meet their birthparents if doing so wouldn't harm anyone.
If you don't want to do that now, at least find out where your child's birthparents are...that way, when she gets older, if she's still curious, you'll know where she can look.
I suggest being supportive and honest in the most loving way. It's a delicate situation, and your daughter will appreciate you trying to understand where she's coming from.
2006-11-11 12:13:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay well this may sound a little harsh but it is her right to meet her birth mom weather or not you want her to. My mom's friend went through the same thing she was afraid that she would love her anymore. Love is infinate and you can make as much of it as you want just because you give some to another doesn't mean you take any away from someone else. If you are afraid your daughter will get hurt then go with her or find a friend for her to go with her to lend her moral support. Sometimes it can be hard.
Hope this advice helps!
2006-11-11 10:58:45 · answer #2 · answered by dragonflygurl_32 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As her true mom..For we all know the easy part is giving birth, the true test of a mother / father is the raising part.. Dear, put yourself in your daughters shoe's, if you were the adopted one wouldn't you want to know all you could know about your beginning an who you came from. She won't love you, need you , or respect you any less.. Truth is it will increase due to your openness to allow her to grow completely and meet her mother will show her your strength and security in ya'lls relationship. Don't be threatened, her birth mom can never give her what you have given her... Open your heart a bit wider and let her receive completion and you will be a better and bigger person for it.....
2006-11-11 10:33:32 · answer #3 · answered by tmjf461 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your adoption an open one? If it is not, there are laws preventing an adopted child from knowing who their birth parent is and tracking them down. A lot of times the birth parent does not want to meet their child since it just opens up old wounds. Make sure your daughter knows this. And find this all out before she goes hunting for her birth parent(s). I know for sure that if I gave a child up for adoption I would not want them to come find me.
2006-11-11 10:27:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Check it out first.See if the biological mother even wants to meet. It might be too painful. If you refuse your adopted child this right she will hold it against you.Also you didn't say the age of your adopted child.What was the true reason she was given up?I don't think there is a clear cut answer to this.There are too many important factors that are missing in your question.
2006-11-11 10:36:31 · answer #5 · answered by cybefree 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel that is very unsupportive, you should let her meet her mother so she can heal she will love you the same that wont change anything, let her know who she is and where she comes from if you don't she will eventually do it on her own and she will hold that against you (not allowing her to meet her birth mom)
2006-11-11 10:27:05 · answer #6 · answered by dejohn m 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
DO NOT restrict her from that. That is the WORST thing you can do to her. Stopping her would build such a wall between you two that you may never recover from.
If you don't want to help, just say...I don't know how to find her. Go ahead and giver her some basic info that you know so you don't look like you are hiding anything.
2006-11-11 10:27:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to let her try to find her. Put yourself in her shoes, wouldn't you have a lot of questions. You are the one who raised her, her real mother will never replace you.
2006-11-11 10:25:26 · answer #8 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋