nanny help ( Dealing with tantrums)?

Question

Help me.. what should i do when the one year old that i take care of starts to act up as in have a tantrum.. I have tried talking to him but he wont listen.. i guess i made the mistake when i allowed him to do it in the first place so now he screams for anythings and hurls himself to the ground to get my attention..

I try to ignore him by leaving the room but he just chases me into the next room.. also its difficult to leave him alone in another room when the parents are there and wont do anything to help.

Answer 1

you must remain calm, and do ignore this behavior if you can, if in private, simply tell him, i am sorry your angry, but i am not going to pay any attention to your fit, walk away, let him know that when he is done, you can see him them. paying attention to temper tantrums is the worst thing you can do. if its in public, then you must be appropriate for wherever you are, can't let him hurt himself, or get in the way of shoppers, take him out to rthe vehicle, put him in his seat, and tell him you can't talk to him until he calms down. this is the best way to teach them that temper tantrums will not get them attention. teach that good behavior gets attention. it is normal for this age of tots to have temper tantrums. the first time my oldest daughter did it, she was a bit tired, sitting on the kitchen floor playing with some blocks, they didn't go how she wanted them to, and she threw herself on the floor, screaming and thrashing, i turned around from my sinkful of dishes, and looked at her, and calmly said, i am sorry your toys are making you mad, but mommy will not pay any attention to you until you stop acting like that. i stepped over her, went to the living room and sat down, no eye contact, i refused to even look at her, turned my head when she tried to get my attention by screaming/thrashing, after a few minutes, she got up, walked over to me, and said, k mommy. and did not do it again, she sat on my lap, then fell asleep. unfortunately, you have already payed some attention to the tantrum, so you are going to have to backtrack. don't let it make you mad, as this is normal behavior forr this age. good luck, happy nannying.

Answer 2

It's a developmental phase, and it sounds pretty normal (i.e. NOT a discipline problem) to me.

Toddlers at that age have little to no impulse control, they think they're the centers of the universe, and they don't have good verbal skills to express themselves. So shrieking and all sorts of dramatics are pretty much par for the course.

The thing is that a nuclear meltdown like that can freak a toddler out just as much as it does you.

I don't pretend to be the world's best mama, but I have a few suggestions.

If he's hitting people or destroying belongings, he's not too young to be firmly told that his behavior is unacceptable, and then picked up and put in a room where he can't hurt anything or anyone. You don't have to keep him there. He's not in a time-out. You don't have to be angry, or physically punish him. You're just sending the message that you won't tolerate that kind of stuff. He'll probably follow you right back out of the room, and that's OK. But you want to pretty quickly follow up with a distraction and some cuddles.

If he's just putting on a big show of frustration (banging his head into stuff, kicking on the floor, curled up and howling), I'd just put on my happiest voice, invite him to do something else with me, and then ignore him. You can't let the tantrum change what you're doing. So if you and an older child are making a meal or reading a story or whatever, you want to make it clear that he's welcome to come and participate--that you'd LOVE to have him--but that you can't have all that racket.

I actually used to throw a light blanket over my older child when she was pitching a fit, and then I'd walk around asking, "Where's Phoebe? She was just here, and then she was gone and I heard a godawful noise, and now I can't find my girl! Where could she possibly be?..." Most of the time, she "got" that a tantrum wasn't the way to go, that she wasn't going to get whatever it was that she wanted, and that it was way more fun to play peekaboo with me.

I think you don't want to leave the room yourself. You are acting civilized, and he isn't. So he should be the one to leave.

And talking to a child that young in the throes of a tantrum doesn't do anything. They can't hear you, and they can't reason, and they don't care.

You just have to ignore a bit, to change the behavior slightly, and then distract.

One other thing: sometimes a kid is sick or tired or genuinely scared or hurt or something, and you can't jolly them out of a tantrum. In that case, you have only two options: one is to put them in a room where they can't hurt anything or anyone, and sit there, quietly, while the tantrum burns itself out. And then cuddle, because the child is likely quite worried about your reaction, and also scared of his/her own emotions. Or to sit on the floor, holding them, until the tantrum passes. Same reasons.

I think it's a fine line: kids want 100% of our attention, which of course they can't have. But we are also very distracted and busy, and sometimes I think it requires some drama to get the attention they NEED, you know? That's why I think it's a developmental phase. In a few months, your little guy will have learned some new skills that will lessen the number of tantrums, and you'll have gained some skills and empathy, too, so you'll deal with them better.

Answer 3

Wow, the parents don't do anything? You can try talking to the parents and making some sort of "time-out" area so that he can learn to behave himself. If they won't do it then you do it yourself. Take an area or a chair and use it for time-outs only and it usually should be half of what their age is so if he's 1 then for 30 seconds. Now if he gets up just keep putting him back on the chair. Also explain to him why he's being put into time out but make sure you go down to his level when talking to him. If that still doesn't work, put him in his bed until he can behave himself, checking on him occasionally of course. Hope this helps, good luck!

Answer 4

Why do the parents have a nanny when they're at home anyway? Whatever..

Just ignore him. If he follows you around just keep ignoring him. Don't look at him, don't talk to him, don't do anything.