Last week I saw a post on here where a woman was talking about hiring a private eye to investigate her daughters boyfriend. Somebody mentioned the link http://background-records.net/ as a good place to find info online. Well I checked out the site and was bored so I started entering names of people I know. That is when I discovered that my friends fiance was convicted of assualt in 2001. I am sure she doesn't know about this. I have to tell her because I fear for her safety but I don't know how to approach the subject without her hating me. We have been friends since the 3rd grade and this news is going to devestate her.
Any insight on how to handle this situation would be appreciated. Thank you.
2006-11-11 09:05:22 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all, your friend's safety is more important than your friendship. Indeed, one of the hallmarks of true friendship is taking the steps necessary to ensure their safety without regard to how it may affect you.
Secondly, assault can be many many things. I know someone who was charged with assault for disciplining their child when the situation called for it, and by administering an appropriate corporal punishment. The law is not an exact science.
Perhaps the best way would be to show her what you found on the website, and let her judge it's importance, and support her in whatever she decides.
2006-11-11 09:56:02 · answer #1 · answered by yellowcab208 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went via some thing virtually precisely like this a 12 months in the past with my existence lengthy great pal. My husband stored telling me he was once simply gonna make him disappear. Haha. The handiest factor you'll be able to do is take a seat her down and lightly provide an explanation for to her the way you believe, after which the relaxation is as much as her. Let her realize that it doesn't matter what occurs, you like her, take care of her, and can continuously be there for her. That means if some thing occurs later down the street, she is aware of she will be able to come to you. The option is finally hers. I was once think to be in my pal's marriage ceremony and I as properly as I would informed her that I would not be there considering I aid her, however I do not aid this marriage. She obtained married anyhow in spite of all people caution her to not, however she now is aware of that if some thing occurs, she obtained a pal who will aid her out. Good good fortune. I comprehend it's difficult.
2016-09-01 10:57:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and tell her, take her out to lunch and tell her, e-mail it to her, just find a way tolet her know however, it has been 5 years ago and things aren't always what it appears to be. Give him a chance to explain. It could be a situation where he feared for his life or it could've been self defense. That is the prob. with society today; always dwelling on ones past. It is not like he is a habitual offender, rapist, murderer, child molester. Just tell her or talk to him and I'm quite sure you'll find out he is not an abuser.
2006-11-11 16:53:11 · answer #3 · answered by lovelife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about typing a letter and having it sent from another state, and hope your girl friend talks to you about it . Then you could tell her Oh, I think there is a website that you could go on to see if that's true,I don't remember it, it was something like ,,,,....background oh! I'm not sure. Lets go on the computer and ask.com.maybe they know. you can't ask yahoo or she might see this question.
or just tell her, and leave it in her hands there's not much more you can do.
2006-11-11 09:15:58 · answer #4 · answered by lennie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her what you told us. You playing around with the site, typing in names of people you know and you were absolutely shocked to find her fiance's name pop up. You have to tell her, what if he is abusive. She's not a very good friend if she would get mad at you for something he did and then didn't tell her about.
2006-11-11 12:27:31 · answer #5 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him tell her. she may already know but be embarrassed to talk about it. if you go tell her and she knows he will just end up disliking you and that could put more stress then is needed on your friend ship. another thing a assault charge is a very broad term. you can get an assault charge for throwing water at some one if they want to press charges. if it was a domestic charge then i would say tell her but for something so vague leave it alone just keep a eye on her
2006-11-11 09:20:29 · answer #6 · answered by jokerswild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should tell her about what you found out. If you didn't tell her and something happened to her you may end up blaming yourself. Just let her know that you love her as your friend and that you care about her well being and would feel horrible if anything happened to her. Just think, would you want her to tell you if she found out something like that about a man you were going to marry? I would want to know. Good Luck
2006-11-11 12:37:10 · answer #7 · answered by rainydayislandgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could show her the website. Tell her you found this cool website and start putting in names of people you know. Somewhere along the way suggest putting in his name. She can take it from there and you're off the hook.
2006-11-11 12:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by crkristy 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you posted this question FIVE times in 1 minute, you really ARE obsessed.
I bet she'll be just as surprised to know you're running background checks on her man as she will to know his background.
2006-11-11 09:25:50 · answer #9 · answered by xoxo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and talk to him it could be a minor assault but it may not and if thats the case and you can tell her anything she will be more hurt in the long run if you dont tell her so be subtle but clear she will forgive you because your trying to make sure shes safe
2006-11-11 09:26:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋