For 4yrs. I've put up with this! So I want to show him what the rest of the world thinks.?

Question

For 4 yrs. now I've been seeing my bf, and let me first start by saying I Don't Lie, Don't cheat, and Don't steal! A I teach my daughter this every day! It doesn't pay to do those things in the long run. Well He thinks that I go into his house when he's gone(and I don't even have a key cause he won't give me one) and take his things, like dish soap, laundry stuff, shampoo, batteries, ect...all the time he accuses me of these things, I live right next door to him so he's over all the time, and you would think after 4 yrs. he would find something I've stolen from him somewhere in my house, Right! Well he's never found anything because I've never done it. He's had a really bad past about people he loves , doing this to him, and I can understand!But 4 yrs. is a long time to try and help someone, Don't you agree? He say's he loves me,I know he does, He absolutly won't get help! And I do love him . So what am I suppose to do but leave him? 4 yrs now and its killing me. Help? sunnyday

Answer 1

Well that's NOT fair at all to you. The fact that he's over all of the time and never finds something, AFTER FOUR YEARS, should tell him that you are not the one who's doing it. While it's taken a lot of patience on your part, I would say that you should stick in there for a bit more. A four year relationship is something that shouldn't be gotten rid of lightly. Tell him how you feel. Tell him that it's come to you asking strangers advice about this serious problem. Tell him and remind him that you are an honest person and you even advocate that to your daughter. I really hope you both get through it, especially because you both love each other. Best of luck to you and your family!!!

Answer 2

He sounds paranoid. Tell him the next time he accuses you he better have some damn proof, because you are going to leave him.
If he wont get help, he will more than likely always feel this way, which probably has to suck for him, too. Maybe he should be more organized that way he will know that you are not taking his things. He can always start small and try shutting up first, not accusing you, even if he thinks you took something, he can go over to your house without saying anything and look around, then he will see you didn't take anything and there will be no argument.

Or simply just take something, let him accuse you, say yup I did it, can I have it? And see what he does.

Answer 3

Ay,I feel bad for the two of you because I had a friend-actually I considered her to be my best friend who would do these things to me(steal things including the stuff you've listed).Inow live with a roommate and even though he is a pretty trust worthy guy I still am cautious with my things.I hate that I am like this but when a person looses a lot that paranoia does set in.My ex friend did this to me for four years until I finally got a clue.I last year moved into an apartment building where the resident manager was coming into my suite when I wasn't there.I used to work nights so I didn't really pay attention until a check that I was expecting was a month overdue.One day I came home early and around twelve thirty in the morning I heard some one at my door,but I thought it was my neighbours.The next day I had a weird feeling so I parked my car a block away and walked home.Around two in the morning I heard someone at my door,Igrabbed a baseball bat and started yelling as I went to grab the door handle-whoever was there ran.I chased but as i got to the main floor I saw the R.M. sweeping the landing-I inquired but he said there was no body-so I got all freaked out thinking I was being paranoid,nurotic,crazy,etc and I guess I came across very insane and was rammbling on about my check-and I guess I kinda Freaked him out and he blurted out he had my check.I flipped called the cops,he told them some lame *** story that he forgot-he didnt think of sliding it underneath my door,said he got it in his mail.In my own apt search I found my two digicameras,reccg batt,etc gone.I could'nt prove anything so anyways The point of relating all this is that a few bastards can really rape a persons sense of security-even with people that they do love and trust.Maybe some of these things may help the two of you;buy a shower caddy dispenser,have a little lock drawer,filing cabinet and or a safe just to gain back a sense of security.You have to understand that you need not take that to heart or as a personal dis but rather help him to find that comfort and sense of security.Go shopping together and buy different brands,clear bottle products.Have him get a brand new lock in his door or get a home security system w/camera(range for about $200.-$250.)This may seem a little extreme but think about it rationally and logically without pesonal feelings but rather objectively you guys will come to some understanding I hope.Four years is a long time to invest and heartfelt love is hard to find these days.I wish you all well and God bless.Hope you guys work it out.I still to this day have quite a few trust issues even though I know better but every now and then-the news,a movie,the papers they all trigger those experiences and thats the hard part of it.I can't really cut myself from these things though-I just gotta keep on keeping on.You have to let him help himself and don't take it personally but support him in his own efforts to revive his peace of mind.You sound like a good person again good luck-peace.Chio!Riz>.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

A partnership is based on trust, he doesn't trust you and he is setting a bad example to your child, if he lives next door to you, is he eating your food? do you do his washing for him? has he got
a key to your home? If the answer is yes, to these questions, then tell him IF you did go into his home and take things like soap etc, doesn't he think you deserve it, after all, he could be living out of your pocket

Answer 6

WOW! This person has really bad trust issues and if he can not trust you then you two can never really be happy. I would think after 4 years he would've learned to trust you. I agree that this behavior is obscene and he does need help. If he wants to save the relationship.

Answer 7

Well if it's killin u of course u should get outta this relationship. After 4 years he hasnt changed, n he probably never will. Dont hold on to him or it'll hurt worse to leave him. Leave ASAP.

Answer 8

So basically he's accusing you of stealing his things? Weird. I wouldnt put up with that crap, dump him and move on because if he is refusing to even seek help, then he's not willing to do something to better the relationship.

Answer 9

if you dont stand up to him and tell him he is a wacko you will have the next 40 yrs of him like this get a backbone and tell him to kiss your A S S

Answer 10

I never know somebody like that. So weired - - tell him to change the lacks for some very expensive plus other devices to keep his place safe. Wacko that's it.