how can i have a life on my own without stressing about my father?

Question

i´m 26 & live with my parents, i´m looking 4 a job. in the meantime i help a lot here & i don´t go out nor spend money because i don´t want to spend my savings until i get a job. the thing is that my father puts so much pressure on me. he talks to all his friends about me & says that i have a problem because no one hires me and that it is surely because i´m doing something wrong. we never got along and he always treated me like if i were stupid. whenever somehting happens he always thinks it´s my fault, even before i tell him what happend, (one time a guy said something rude to me and when i told my mom what happened my dad said that it probably happened because i was wearing something provocative / which i wasn´t / ). i turned up to be really shy because of the way my dad talks to me. he acts more like a scary boss than a dad. & now i wanna look for a job & i´m really trying but whatever i do, it´s just not good enough for him. i want to move out `cause i can´t b here anymore

i went 2 college, i had a bad job 4 2 years, left it, did some travelling and i´m back to the start. it´s not like i´ve never worked.

Answer 1

Your dad is horrible, it seems absolutely the best idea to move out.

You'll manage to find a job. If you prefer well you'll notice that your presentation improves every time and in the end you'll succeed. What you can do in preparation is :
1. Think of what you want to know of the company, write it down and make questions.
2. Think of what you want that company to know about you, prepare your answers and your presentation in a way that you can tell them what you want them to know...personality, ability, education, eagerness to do just that job, why will you do well in that job and so on
3. Think of what they want to know about you and prepare your answers.
4. Look up information about the company you want to work for, show that you know the company...it makes you look more motivated for the job.

If you prepare thoroughly you'll do well in these interviews. Just think that if they don't hire you it's the interviewer who makes a mistake, not you who didn't do right.

Good luck !

Answer 2

I think you should get your own place, where you can grow some self esteem and some independence. Don`t stay there any longer with your dad, that`s verbal abuse and you will never leacve if you continue to allow your dad to do this to you. You can get a job but, you have to hold your head up high and learn how to communicate with the interviewer of the jobs you`re trying to get. You can do anything you wanna do, you are 26, and you should be living life not being miserable because your dad is! As soon as he see you doing your own thing, he will respect you! Get out and get you a life and I guarantee you will be alright!

Answer 3

What does it take for you to g et a clue? Your father's behaviour is already undermining your own sense of self esteem. Get the heck outta Dodge. This man is the one with a problem not YOU. I don't know what exactly it is, or how he treats your mother, but he sounds like a bullying, belligerant cur, and it sounds as if your mother hasn't got the gumption to s tand up for you against him. Get gone, before this moron ruins your life and turns you into a miserable pathetic whimpering mouse of a woman who can no longer even think or act for herself. You want to stay in that house for however many years it might be before he checks out? If you do, well, "rots of ruck" as I always say in my best chinese. If not, pack your bags and head for the hills, or the big city, or the other side of the world if necessary, because the way it looks, if you stay there much longer, you'll end up there for the rest of YOUR life.

Answer 4

Well you just answer your question. Move out, find a good, stable job. It doesn't have to pay well, but get a job first and work your way up. Next, you should tell your father the way you feel-- exactly how you wrote about him in your question and get everything off of your mind. That way you can start to have a happy and good relationship with him as soon as possible. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Are you educated enough to get a good paying job which will support you well? If not, use this opportunity (of living with mom and dad) to get some education. There are many two-year programs available. Health care alone has several; imaging; ultrasound technician, x-ray technician, lab technician, medical records, coding, respiratory technician.

Is your father like that with all his children? Is he like that with all women? Talk with your mom... maybe she can talk some sense into your dad. If not, just make something of yourself in spite of him. Show him he doesn't know what he's talking about and when you get that diploma waive it in his face.

Good luck. You are NOT stupid--your question is very articulate. Don't let him bring you down.

Answer 6

I feel your pain, i am 28 and stay with my father however i have two children as well. I had nowhere to go after a separation from my husband. Now my father treats me like he did when i was a teen, Wanting to know who i am going out with, where i am spending money, who's calling me, and where i am going stuff like that. It drives me up the wall. I finally had to sit down and talk with him and just tell him i am not a little girl anymore and please stop treating me like one. Things are a bit better but sometimes i have to remind him i am not a child anymore. Maybe that helps. Just dint yell that makes it worse. mommyblues78

Answer 7

Sounds like you need to move out! Try the want ads in the papers to find a job. And you need to stand up to your father and tell him that what he's doing is hurting you and destroying your relationship. He won't be around forever, and you should have a good relationship with him before he dies.

Answer 8

You can`t have it both ways. If you want to stay home and be a little girl but not having responsibilites, then you will be treated like one. What is holding you back from moving out? Having to spend your own money? And what is up with your ID? You aren`t in school any longer.

Answer 9

I'm sorry to have to say this, but some parents are just jerks. They never wanted us, and spend their days reminding us.

I haven't talked to my dad in 4 years, when I finally stopped loaning him money. I don't regret making the break.

Maybe you should do the same when you can?

Answer 10

Muster the courage to get a job...then leave. You're 26, and it's time to be independent. Verbal and emotional abuse take a toll over time. You have to get out of this situation as soon as possible