Should my 10yr. old daughter see a therapist?

Question

My daughter was 9 and a half years old when her father was killed in an automobile accident. She seemed to be very accepting for the first few months, but now she cries at the drop of a hat, gets extremely angry and goes in to rages, and feel retaliation is the answer to most of her problems. Most of the time when she has these fits it is over the smallest of things (i.e. homework, friend, playing outside, etc.). I am wandering if she should continue seeing a counselor or would she be better served to see a licensed therapist.?

Answer 1

Between losing her father, and reaching an age where most girls are hitting puberty, she is going through some pretty heavy duty changes! Me daughter is 11 and for the past year, has begun to get emotional, testy etc. Your daughter has a lot of rage and sadness, above all the normal stress. Yes, continue therapy, get her some grief counselling specifically. I feel for her and for you. Needless to say, my daughter lost her nana ( my mom) 5 years ago, and it seemed to hit her 2 and a half years after that. Kids react differently to trauma.

Answer 2

I believe that at this point a therapist is a great idea, it seems that your daughter has some feelings built inside her; which is why she cries or becomes irritated very quickly. A therapist will be able to get out what's bothering her and make things a whole lot better. It would also b a good idea to talk to your daughter yourself. In my opinion if she hears some encouraging and helpful words from her mother and she would feel that someone really does care for her and can listen to her problem. Either way a therapist is a very reccommended idea, yudon't want some of these feelings to spread over to adolescents and her teen years; that could become quite damaging. I hope all goes wellfor you and your daughter..:)
::Shanay::

Answer 3

I say neither. She seems to be having spiritual problems. She is upset and this is a natural reaction to the loss of a love one. She needs to cope with this and I have a way which I think with all my heart will help her:

I think you should buy her a King James Bible and ask her to get to know the Lord. A person who is filled with the Holy Spirit will learn how to deal with these problems because when she is a born again Child of God, she will have Him living inside of her guiding her along the way. The best therapist you can give her is Jesus Christ. Not only because trusting God is better than trusting in a man, but because not only will Jesus always be there for her on Earth, but, also in Heaven He will as well.

Answer 4

Depression is anger turned inwards and your daughter is showing it! I lost my parents to a car accident as a young adult and I was the same way with lashing out and crying. I can only imagine that it must be much worse for a child. I would seek out a therapist/counselor that can help her to sort out her feelings and how she can work through them. Sometimes, a third party is the best, they can offer a non-biased opinion and provide non-judgemental information.

I am glad to see that you have acknowledged her needs. It took me about three years to realize what needed to be done and now I am much better.

Answer 5

I think you should ask her how she feels about the counselor she is currently seeing. I sympathize with her because I lost my dad at age 11 and it was the hardest thing to go through. I was seeing a counselor that didn't really seem to care about what I was telling him or showing him. He based his conclusions and treatment on what my mother and brother told him during a one time interview instead of listening to what I was saying. I am not saying that you did the same thing, I am just suggesting that you let her know the lines of communication are open and that she has you to talk to and grieve with. It's not easy losing a father at that age. You feel bitter and angry and want to lash out because more than likely she was his princess, the apple of his eye and she thinks that's gone now. She is lost and alone and this counselor is possibly not listening to how she feels, but instead is telling her how she feels. I didn't have anyone at home who was willing to talk to me and to understand what I was feeling and thinking and my counselor certainly did not help me at all. It sounds like you are willing and caring. Find out how she feels about seeing this counselor, ask for her input. Tell her she can talk to you and you understand how she feels because not only did she lose a father, but you lost a husband. Let her know you value her opinion about the counselor and that if she isn't happy with this person let her know you will find her someone else she is more comfortable with. Let her know she counts. Therapy can work, but you will have to remember they will probably suggest she is put on some kind of medication. Society's answer to all of life's woes. In my opinion she will be fine with time, love, patience and understanding, most of all from you. I know this is a tough time for all of you and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope this helps. She needs to know you love her.

Answer 6

AWE. That is so terrible. I'm sorry for your loss and hers.

But, I have a daughter who acts very much that way lately. She's nine and a half, in fifth grade.

I think it has something to do with the age that they are at. She cries and gets so stubborn over the tiniest things. I am considering taking her to a therapist if it continues, but everyone tells me that its par for the course. She's my first, i have 3 girls.

But, because of all that your daughter has gone through, maybe it would be helpful for a therapist to talk with her.

My heart goes out to you ...

Answer 7

I can't see a 10 year old having any hormone changes right now, so I would keep her in therapy. Actually, it depends on the PERSON who is doing the therapy/counseling. Either one is fine, but are they giving her what she needs? Is she improving? Ask her questions? Does she like the lady? What is YOUR relationship like with your daughter? For me to really help you, I would honestly need to know more. But, I would try to do more with your daughter for starts, and build her self-esteem. Get her a diary, her body needs to release the anger she feels in a "positive" way. Good luck to you both.

Answer 8

She probably needs therapy to an extent, and good parenting.

When one parent is lost the other often finds it hard to realize when discipline is needed, for fear of punishing something that is only caused by pain. Her father is lost, but she's still owed proper training on how to handle her emotions.

Therapy for her, and you, and the family would probably be very beneficial is pointing out the behaviors that are caused by pain of loss, and those that are simply of her age and need correcting.

Either way she needs to learn how to deal with her emotions, no matter what causes them. Sometimes therapy can help.

Answer 9

I don' t think she should. I was 9 when my dad had a heartattack and I threw fits too. My dad died at work and I was stuck with my mom. My advice to you is be a good mom to her. I wish my mom would've comforted me. It's very important to show you care. Sadly, she may still be that way until she's a teen. I was. Not sending her to therapy would teach her to be strong. I got by on praying. I prayed to my dad in heaven and for god to make things better. Words can't express how hard it is to lose your dad. It was even harder when my mom brought her junkie boyfriend around me because my brain wasn't mature enough to handle it.

Also, at first I was very accepting, too. You don't realize that they're really gone, dead. If you talk about him fondly about him around her-but not sadly-she'll realize the great things about him and happy memories. One thing you absolutely don't want to do is only feel your pain. My mom was selfish and only cared about herself. She didn't give a damn about my feelings.

Just be a good mom, teach her to be strong, and that's all she'll need to get by.

Answer 10

I think It would be a very good decision to send your daughter to a licensed therapist. It could cause problems for her later in life. It may be hard for her to have relationships with people because she is afraid of losing them.