Love Stinks, So what's next?

Question

I'm alway's up for advice so here goes. Helped a girl get thru her divorce. As expected, we became closer.We agreed to take it slow and establishment a tight friendship first. First it was a couple of blouses and the next thing I know my closet is full of her clothes. Enevitably we fell in love. 8 months go by, she decides she needs her space and wants to find out wat it's like to be alone, so she moves out without any discussion beforehand. She claims she still feels for me, but It's rippin my heart out, and the toughest part is keepin from pickin up the phone just to call to say hi. I mean what happened to at least that solid friendship? The sad thing is my mind knows how to handle it, my heart just keeps gettin in the way. I must have had the biggest sign on my forehead that said "backboard". OK, all of you advisors in mattters of the heart, how do I get thru this part, without doing anything that makes me appear desperate???

Answer 1

I wish I had pearls of wisdom, but sometimes people just suck.

My advice would be to stay away from people on the rebound. If they are just out of a relationship or in the process of leaving - stay friends. They are looking to replace what they lost without really knowing what they want. They need time alone to be content with themselves before being in another relationship.

Trust me, I just went through the same thing. One minute he's saying he loves me and is planning trips out of town (which we never went on). I got close to his kids and even his pet and the next thing you know, he's acting weird and now things are over. No real reason, no explanation for his actions.

You can never understand people and why they do the things they do. The only thing we can do is try to cope, try to forgive and move on.

Take some time for yourself. Travel, take classes or do whatever makes you happy. When you're happy with yourself, you'll find someone you're meant to be with. Or realize you're just fine on your own.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I'm sorry this is in your life right now. Unfortunately, I really don't think there's much that will help except for time. Keep yourself busy with work, friends,exercise, read a book, whatever but resist the urge to call. Give her her space. It's been my experience that when you love someone, somehow, all the rules go out the window and you're compelled to be with the person you love. So, if she is truly in love with you the separation won't last long. See how you feel? Well if she loves you she's feeling the same way. She'll want to be with you. Since she initiated the split, she should be the one to make the first move back. Good luck. I hope all turns out well for you and her.

Answer 3

I didn't understand very much the last part of the question so don't care if i say something really stupid. You are hurt from her and you see things in the wrong way. Try to do something fun. Go out meet new girls that have better character from that stupid girl that ignores you. I think that you are better from her(i am not flirt you) because you helped her when she had problem. If she was a good friend-lover she would tell you the truth and she would never leave you feel that way. Maybe all these are painful but you deserve to know the hole truth. Smile and understand that life is so beautiful and forget her. She doesn't worth your love.

Answer 4

Write her a letter that says everything you feel. Be as honest and sappy as you want- but in the end let her know that you love her too much to safely remain friends. Tell her this will be your last communication with her until she sees what's obvious- that you are right for eachother- but warn her that you are starting the moving on process NOW and that she needs to get wise or get over you.

then start moving on. you can't put your life on hold for someone who didn't even take you into consideration when she abandoned you. a relationship could work between you but she has to be the one to make the descision. give her all the facts in one good letter so that she can make an educated one. give her a small amount of time and then move on. once you are over her, and only then, give her a call and ask how she is doing if you want. but only then!!

Answer 5

You call her and see if she's willing to at least maintain the friendship she was willing to begin, if not the romantic aspect you two fell into, just make it clear you respect her and her need for space but that the friendship is really important to you

If she really wants to be friends, this will have an effect and at least that aspect will be on the road to recovery, if not and you were truly an absolute rebound, then as the saying goes "those who mind, don't matter, those who matter, don't mind" and as heartbreaking as it may be begin the road of getting over her

Answer 6

she has been honest with you,,i think many women go into relationships after splitting up with someone only later to find out they are not sure they actually know what it would have been like to just be alone,,it is important and it is something that plays on the mind,,what if,,what if,,,it seems odd you haven't spoken to her but as you are quite articulate i assume there is a distance greater than her just 'finding herself',,,she may feel like she has to clear the decks and it is really not about you,,give it time,,wouldn't you rather her come back after feeling she missed you than her saying nothing and always thinking about leaving?make a call,,send a text,,but nothing bad,,no pressure but if it doesn't feel 'right',,you have to ask her whether or not it would be better if you and she had no contact,,at least you would know .

Answer 7

hm... this continuously afflicted me why is it incredibly so perplexing i assume some people only have it others dont. i'm continuously incredibly shy myself yet you are able to exchange that like im doing. attempt making greater buddies at college each and every time somebody tells a shaggy dog tale continuously snigger at it they are going to think of your an open guy or woman and arn't all extreme and dull you comprehend? connect golf equipment and activities greater? And continuously smile and look self belief thats what makes somebody look greater approachable. i'm particular this is going to artwork out ultimately exceedingly if he likes you even with the undeniable fact that i havn't regarded at your different positioned up yet i think of you should decide for it. do not think of approximately it. do exactly it. First initiate with saying whats up and then ask him what hes doing this weekend then see if he needs to pass and see the main present day action picture and see what he says . Ohh, and that i comprehend its perplexing and all... incredibly perplexing. yet attempt and act like its certainly one of your individuals or somebody you comprehend incredibly properly. solid success

Answer 8

Don't know how old you are dude, but you do what I did after three divorces. You get a bike and you hit the road. Your bike never gets mad and never gets jealous. If you take care of your bike, she will take care of you. And your bike will never leave you, and won't throw a fit when it's time to get a new one.

And it leads to making lots of friends. Why do you think people who ride bikes wave to each other all the time? Tight knit community, the bike people. And they are people that share a common interest. Makes for good bonding.

As for the bint. If it was me, I would not cross the street to take a leak on her if she was on fire. 'Nuff said. Good luck, and Ciao!

Answer 9

Start dating someone else. Really. There's nothing better for the heart than the adrenalin rush from a new love interest.

Answer 10

Try thinking bad of her for using you until she was able to deal with her feelings of loss and then allowing you to suffer those self same feelings on her account. If you lose respect for her in your head your heart will catch up eventually.