What do you do about a 6 year old who cries every time you ask or tell him to do a chore?

Question

My son is 6 and any time I ask him to do something, like a simple task of picking up things off his bedroom floor, he has begun crying and being stubborn. I don't know what to do! It's frusterating, because this has really only begun in the last 3 months, and in other areas, he seems to be becoming increasingly stubborn as well and not listening. Normally he's a really mild mannered kid, and I try to give leeway, because we just moved to a new state, and life has been very changing for him... but I am running out of patience a little and would like some advice.

I have tried time outs and all the more liberal approaches. I think it's time to get creative.

For the record: He's not really spoiled. He normally is a big help around the house and has good manners.

Answer 1

I think Jessie was onto something. I have heard of using a reward system to help get the child involved in being responsible for their own behavior. One example: Get a large jar, have him help you decorate it with his name on it, and put it up high but in plain sight. Make a list of things he *should* do, as well as things he *shouldn't* do. Figure out a point system. i.e. When he picks up his toys on the floor, he gets 5 (marbles, poker chips, pennies, etc.) in the jar. When he doesn't listen and you have to tell him 5 times to put on his coat, it's time to leave, then he owes you 3 of said items. And make him involved in the transaction. He gets to put them into the jar, but he also has to take them out when he hasn't obeyed. At the end of a set time (day, week, whatever) he can "buy" something with his earnings. They can also be on your list: Trip to the park - 10 items. Friend sleepover - 20 items. Movie rental - 15 items. etc.
http://www.proteacher.net/discussions/showthread.php?t=9166
http://www.happy-kids.com/odd.htm
http://www.technomom.com/home/token.shtml
I also like Catrustie's idea about getting rid of things when not picked up, but we take them to Goodwill rather than burning them. That way, the kids see that they are leaving our possession, but someone else will get some good out of them.
Good luck! It's hard being a parent, but if I'm honest with myself, I thought it was hard being a kid, too!

Answer 2

I know, aren't these kids just fun sometimes? Your son is just going through another phase to see how far he can push you. Which will never stop in your life time! LOL. You just have to learn to be smarter!! The next time he cries, just look serious at him and tell him, "your 6 years old, crying like a 2 year old, so I guess now you can ALSO pick up your cloths too, until you can act 6 again". Walk out the room. End of story. Your the parent, he's the child-you need to take the control back..That easy..When he knows your serious, he will shut up!! Good luck!!! Than let him know how much you LOVE him for being a good boy for you!! Works every-time...

Answer 3

The reward chart is a great idea! We've used it for everything from sleeping in their own bed through the night to taking medicine! Make the chart look fun and get some great stickers to use just for it. I'd make it a 2 week or so chart at a time and make sure he gets some sort of little reward for filling the chart like a good boy.

Answer 4

Chances are, if he knows that you are worried about his adjusting to the move to the new state, he is going to take advantage of it and see how much you'll be willing to let him get by with. Kids in general tend to see just how far they can push their parents and what they can get away with. If he sees that you are giving more leeway, he's going to push more. Instead, I would lay the same rules that you had before you moved - it'll keep him from being confused later on. If you are letting him follow one set of rules now, then he won't understand when you change them later. Don't give in when he starts crying just because you ask him to do something. Let him know that he has to follow your rules. When my dad was young, if he didn't pick up his toys and things, my grandma would put them all in a sack and store them away for awhile. Eventually, he got tired of not having anything to play with! He started to take her more serious, without her having to punish him by spanking. Also, I don't mean to say that you ignore him, but maybe with your move you have been distracted, and haven't been able to pay as much attention to him as you normally do. Try taking some time out of your day to do something with just you and him- it doesn't have to be an all day thing. This is what I do with my 5-year old, and he loves having all of my attention focused on him only. When he doesn't want to mind, I tell him that if he won't mind, then we won't have our playtime for that day. So far, it has worked every time, because he doesn't want to lose his time of feeling like he's the most important thing to you(even though we know that our kids ARE the most important things to us, they need for us to reassure them from time to time). Don't give up and good luck!

Answer 5

mothers and fathers ought to pay their teenagers the going marketplace fee for the artwork it extremely is almost carried out. If the job isn't carried out or isn't achieved appropriate, hearth the new child. i do no longer think in allowances with out initiatives or paying your babies lots of money for doing yery little. teenagers shouldn't assume that staying living and doing 5 hours of chores each week gets them as lots or extra mney than working 15 hours each week at a pert-time job! i'm now no longer saying that the babies ought to each take a equivalent proportion in cleansing the place of abode wen they're 12, do all their very own laundry while they're 14, or take a turn cooking the ingredients 2 days each week while they're sixteen. i think that if it takes a organic person a nil.5 of hour to bathe do the dishes, the new child will ought to get approximately 4 greenbacks for doing an identical job. I additionally think of that via the time they're 18, they ought to be predicted to tug their very own weight and do their proportion in terms of abode universal jobs. nonetheless, in case you're doing maximum of hours or artwork according to day, you ought to get the going fee for some which includes your diploma of know-how, which could be at east minimum salary. Of direction, if your mum and dad won't be able to be able to pay for that, than it is yet yet another tale. after all, your room and board is surely properly worth approximately $500 (USD) a month (some element that interprets into in Australian greenbacks; interior the U.S., the median salary is $20 an hour and minnimum salary is $7 an hour, and a loaf of bread is $2 and milk is $a million a liter. i could under no circumstances make my teenagers pay hire, till the exchange was being out on the line. if your mothers and fathers are in undertaking financially, could be you ought to discern your weekly pay via means of having paid $11 australian an hour or thereabouts and and deducting $75 to $one hundred twenty five (USD) month-to-month for room and board, and get them to regulate to a $4 an hour carry once you finally end up 18.

Answer 6

try a reward chart,let the child put a sticker on the chart everytime the child does his or her chore correctly,and pick a special something like special alone time with mom or dad for the reward.make sure you add stuff like brush hair and teeth something the child does normally so the chores don't seem like work.and just be so excited about chart so child will consider it all to be a big game and want to succeed.

Answer 7

for a 6 yr old moving house is as traumatic as you getting a divorce .it's one of the most traumatic things kids can experience and is so much like a bereavement .it has all he same symptoms as a death in the family .he leaves behind his friends ,the famiiararity of his former home, his security ,possibly his school and it is another trauma for him to go to a new school .walking into a room full of strangers is hard or an adult .be patient with him and given time he will adjust. make cleaning his room a game of picking up all the things that are red or blue or paper things . time him and make it like a sports game there is a minimum time to clean up to get the gold ribbon or whatever treat you have .offer to make over his room and make it like a cave or whatever is his favourite characters' home would look like .he's just a little boy don't ask too much of him til; he settles in to the new places he has to go to.

Answer 8

If you think it is because you moved talk to him and find out why he is acting out, moving is a one of the major life stressors. Try to work it out with him where he can cope with it. You need to explain to him at his age level about this new change in his life. But you also need to tell him that it will not be allowed and he will lose privileges, such as gaming systems, tv, etc.

Answer 9

When my 4 year old won't pick up her toys after I have told her, for example I will set the oven timer for 1 hour, if after the timer has gone off and no progress has been made, I go in her room with a big black gabage bag and start putting all of her toys in it. She starts cleaning right away, because she has learned that what goes in mommy's black garbage bag NEVER comes back!! I have her come with me to the burn barrel (we live in the country) and watch me burn them. She knows if she can't be responsible for her toys and keep her room cleaned up, then she will no longer have them. It works pretty well for us, no screaming or yelling etc. If she doesn't get the job done then I get it done my way!! Believe me it sounds mean, and the first time you dispose of his toys he WILL be upset but, he will learn to clean up!! I haven't burned any toys in a loooong time!! I hope this helps you :)

Answer 10

I actually let my daughter complete one of these "fits" when I asked ger to clean her room. Then I stood there and made he look in the mirror and see how immature she was being since she prides herself on being a "good girl". Don't get me wrong I was really ticked. I fully believe in spankings and such but their butts get harder and spankings can be ineffective as they get older. After her fit she was soooo embarassed and since she didn't get the reation from me that she wanted it hasn't happened again.