Should I wait for him???

Question

My man is locked up again, but this time he's seeing where his life is really going, and wants to change everything, and he really is changing, I can tell, cuz he wont sell me a dream, he never acted like this the other times. But my ? is, when he was out, he cheated on me left n right, and I did twice just so I wouldn't feel as hurt I guess, and NOW he wants to be on some realshit and get married and all that, and that he's tired of playing games, but I dont know if I should wait for him, cuz of all the sh*t he did to me. I mean, I love him like you wouldn't belive, and I know he loves me too, and he's proven that. But you think he's worth it?

PLEASE read my screen name.....ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.......before you try n talk sh*t

He'll be there for 1-3 years, we dont know yet

For the lame that wants to talk **** mr chief of nothing....*******! I so have a good job, and am able to support myself and 2 kids and I'm only 20, so I keep this guy around cuz I love him, not cuz I need him, so go suck a big one

Answer 1

i would say not to proceed with the marriage just yet. it's easy for a man to be faithful when he's in prison and there are no women around for him to cheat with. the relationship does not sound like a healthy one, either emotionally or physically (both of you have had multiple sex partners while together....think about STDs etc.).
i think you should move on, but i also understand the power of love. if you really think it can work, wait for him to get out of jail, and just observe how he treats you over the next year. if he keeps his word, and is a new man, then maybe maybe consider marriage.
however, also please realize that people rarely change the way they behave in a relationship. i'm not saying it's impossible, but it will take a lot of effort on his part. personally, i KNOW you could do better.

Answer 2

After reading your screen additional details, it seems you have a lot of experience in your life although you are very young.
What disturbs me is why are you asking this question, is it because you have doubts about your boy friend? can he be a good father? can he give you the warmth and security you and your child need?
I you are married to this man, then you must wait for him until he is out and decide together with him about your relationship, but if you are not married to him then I think the big question will be: if during the time your friend is locked, you will meet a serious man, that cares about you and is ready to take responsibility of your family. And suppose that guy can be kind and lovely , would you try this new relationship or wait for your boy friend??
Nobody can answer this question but you.
Good luck no matter what is your decision.

Answer 3

I would be afraid he started talking about marriage just to know he will have someone waiting for him when he got out so he didn't have to start all over with a new chick.

If you are alone when he gets out then let him start dating you all over from the beginning. If he starts to fall back into his old ways then run like hell. There are too many deadly diseases you can get to stay with a cheater. But don't trap yourself to sit around waiting in the meantime. Life is too short.

Also, I think you have a better chance of him changing if he is very young and needs to grow up.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 4

Only u know your heart. While u may have feelings for ur bf, you have to consider that u might get hurt again. Would u forgive him again? U may need to set up some ground rules before u decide what ur next step will be. Have a heart 2 heart w/ ur bf and see where he stands. Don't make a serious commitment unless the 2 of u are absolutely sure that the both of u are willing to do whatever it takes to make the relationship work.

Answer 5

In AGAIN 1 to 3... yes wait he's definitely a keeper... don't worry about his record there are 2 or even 3 jobs open to guys with his qualifications at least you can support him and the kids with your job.. don't worry either that 2 of the 3 open jobs involve criminal activity...he's much smarter now....good luck and while he's away you should consider continuing your education you'll need it if you ever plan on living outside of the slums...plus it widens his options as far as victims...

Answer 6

Stop worrying about waiting or not waiting or if he changed or not. Concentrate on taking care of yourself and making your self more self sufficient and happy. If he has changed then it will work if he hasn't it won't. Make yourself happy with out including him in the equation. If he has indeed turned a new leaf than he will just add to your already happy and productive life.
A man's worth is only judged by himself and his actions.

Answer 7

You know him best. if you honestly believe he is capable of change and you aren't just hoping he will change, give him another chance. Just make sure it's what you really want to do and that he's worth the wait. The cheating thing....I understand where your coming from by getting back at him but you need to be able to trust him completely so you don't just worry about it all the time

Answer 8

I have the urge to get defensive when people say stuff that sounds like they're judging me, but it usually turns out that those were the ones who really cared about me the most. I'm not judging you, but when it seems like some one is, just try and hear them out. You might be suprised.

Answer 9

My son just a week ago was locked up for violating his probation.He is the same age as yourself. I assume your boyfriend is really young too, If he is good to you now and a good father to your children and you love him then I would say yes wait on him.Like my son he does have to take responsibility for his actions.Honey sometimes we have to suffer for the ones we love most. Wish you the best.Always put your children first! : )

Answer 10

My boyfriend got locked up too but he recently got bailed. If you love him then of course you should wait. True love waits! This is a great way to prove that. The only question is does he love you? If you believe in your heart that you two are in love then wait for him, for however long.