This was a wedding planning site from Martha Stewart. I thought she might find it helpful. Now my son calls me and tells me not to email her anything else like that. It was only Martha's wedding site!You would have thought I commited a crime. Sorry.
2006-11-11 07:26:40 · 29 answers · asked by Momwithaheart 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Gayle, do you an aspirin or something stronger? This is crazy, and I can't imagine why this would upset the girl. You email her, you didn't drop in on her at the job with lots of catalogs marked with big slips of paper. I would have thought that it was very nice of you, and that you were just trying to help.
The young woman must have thought that you didn't believe she had any taste or didn't know what she was doing. Did you write her a little note along with the website info? Some how your helpful suggestion to just take a look-got blown off the charts.
I would write her a little not of apology saying you just thought she might find some interesting on the site. And that you wouldn't hurt her for the world. That you don't want to be that kind of mother-in-law that every woman dreads, but one that she could count on and be friends with. I would also send a copy of it to your son. That way there is no doubt of your intentions.
What a way to start off the wedding! Honey, hold on to your temper and keep the kleenex handy you may have a Bridezella for a daughter in law. I pray that you don't, but something is all ready crawled up her butt. I am sorry, but some people take a nice suggestion for something that it's not meant to be. Mom, you didn't do anything wrong or out of the way. I would have welcomed any catalogs or anything she wanted to share. To me that would have meant she approved of me and that she wanted to see her son and I get married.
Sorry about this, but drop her and your son a little line of apology, yes even though you didn't do anything wrong. Be the better person, and leave it alone. You get busy on the wedding rehearsal dinner, and don't accept anything from her. (just kidding) Praying for a understanding a very happy wedding day for all.
God bless us all.........
2006-11-11 10:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by totallylost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I personally hate Martha Stewart, but that's really here nor there. The bride to be may have some anxiety at the overwhelming chore of planning an entire wedding and may want to plan the whole thing herself to ensure nothing goes wrong and everything is perfect. I realize you meant well, so maybe just send another email to explain you weren't trying to run the show, just thought she might like some ideas and that if you can be of any help, just let you know. Leave it at that.
2006-11-11 07:30:47 · answer #2 · answered by Jane D 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It depends on how you treat her normally. I have a stereotypical MIL and don't want any emails or phone calls from her ever for any reason. I've been married for 13 years and she's treated me like dirt from the beginning. Except in front of other people at which time she was all sweetness and light and couldn't understand why I didn't like her. Nevermind that she was calling me a whore on the phone when other people weren't around.
Now I'm not saying that you treat your DIL like that, but you might not be as nice to her as you think you are; so she doesn't want your input. There is definitely more to this situation than you sent her an email.
2006-11-11 12:40:08 · answer #3 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She took it the wrong way. She probably was insulted and she feels threatened by you and sees it as you trying to "mark your territory" over the wedding. Maybe she felt hurt that you thought she had bad taste. Martha Stewart is a little high-class.
I don't like it when my mother-in-law even MENTIONS my wedding. Yes, I know that she is just trying to help but I am very much a control-freak and don't like feeling threatened
2006-11-11 10:12:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Maybe she feels like you don't think she's
good enough for your son.
2) Maybe she feels you don't think she's
capable or intelligent enough to plan her own
wedding.
3) Could you possibly improve your relationship
with her so she knows she has your esteem
& friendship.
4) Maybe the site address you sent her was
hijacked & redirected to a porn site.
5) Why did your son agree with his fiance &
reprimand you, you need to find out what it
was exactly that got her so upset. This will
help you know what sort of things to avoid
in the future.
6) Why not send her a card saying you're sorry you upset her and that you came across the site one day while surfing & thought it might be of interest to her.
2006-11-11 07:54:05 · answer #5 · answered by madamspud 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on what kind of relationship you have with your daughter in law and if you are hinting at the fact that you don't think she can plan her wedding the way she wants. So obviously if your son called you to say not to do that then yes it must have been a problem.
2006-11-11 11:10:06 · answer #6 · answered by Shonreaq G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. That sounds very thoughtful of you, actually. Hell, it is SUPER easy to step on my toes and even I wouldn't have gotten mad at that! Now if you had been making tons of suggestions I didn't like...that would have been annoying. Brides hate it when others try to help with the planning - they want to be in control of every detail! But you did was not out of bounds. She's just wound a bit tight right now...try to cut her some slack. :) Imo, neither scolding nor an apology is in order.
2006-11-11 08:49:50 · answer #7 · answered by chelleedub 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a wedding is a very personal thing and sometimes women have them planned out since they were girls and don't need opinions. I'm sure you're excited about it too, but she probably sees it as HER wedding and no one else's big day but hers. sorry to say that this is how we raise our daughters, but it is reality and in order to start off on the right foot you should stay out of it until you are asked to help. your son is just telling you what he has to in order to keep the peace. try not to take it personally.
2006-11-11 08:15:14 · answer #8 · answered by Kitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds as if you were trying to help out and to make a suggestion. They obviously took it as you butting in, I think thatnaybe you should ask her if she would mind helping or suggestins as they come along. If she says NO then so be it stay out of it. The bride to be sounds a bit controlling if she could get mad about something so simple as that. So let her make the decision and you go with whatever she wants, just let her know that you just want to help and make some suggestions not run the show.
2006-11-11 07:32:32 · answer #9 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Although your gesture was with good intentions, apparently she translated it as interference. You might want to mention that you only meant it as a reference, not an expectation. Your best bet from here on is to wait for her to ask and then offer advise. But I would find a way to communicate to her your feelings, that you only meant to be helpful. She is under a lot of pressure right now, so try not to take things like that to heart. Good luck.
2006-11-11 07:30:49 · answer #10 · answered by Emm 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋