Why pretend to be happy this time of year, to please everyone else?

Question

Lost both parents, and a nephew, in 10 months. Not happy, won't be for one day, can't everyone just leave me alone?

Answer 1

you don't have to pretend for anyone, Tina Marie; but if I can bring a moment of joy to your heart, well, I guess we're just gonna have to share that.....

Answer 2

Wow, I think it would be almost disturbing if you were happy. Probably peeps just care about you and don't want to see you hurting. Maybe you can just ask them to let you feel sad and work it through, in as much as that is possible. some people really NEED to be alone and sad sometimes...
they still may not leave you alone, however, it is just a way for them to show they care. People don't know HOW to act when something this horrible happens to someone they care about. Your life has been turned upside-down, just say to them, and tell them you will only say it once but let them know, with authority, that you are really hurting right now, they can't cheer you up, stop trying and that your grief will be on it's own schedule....
I too have suffered loss, not just like yours, but close. One day when I was feeling even lower than most others, I went to our local animal shelter where my problems and sadness were at least for amoment, lessened, when I saw all the other little orphans (and some old ones too), homeless and lonely and feeling very abonded...what I found myself doing was taking home the ugliest, and I do mean homliest, cat I had ever seen, he actually looked worse than I felt. His name is fugly...he was loving and comforting the second I got him home. I could cry, be grumpy, not smile and be nasty mean and still he would purr and always be by my side....and he still is. He understood me and was a good ear (as chewed up as they were)...it's just an idea. I am very thankful for him, I didn't want some cute young kitten cause that wasn't how I felt. I knew they were going to have to put him down soon as unadoptable...I guess you could say we saved eachother, just a thought. Good luck and god bless.