What are some good or funny MSN quotes?

Question

Some that i could put on my name or personal message..

Answer 1

told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. - Rodney Dangerfield

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught me with another woman. I wouldn't stand for that. - Steve Martin

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. - George Burns

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with. - Marty Feldman

If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either. - Dick Cavett

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets. - Dave Edison

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. - Steven Wright

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks