in this 3 years we had a child who is now 2. I have been a stay at home mama since his birth and his dad has worked out of town (trades). We are now fighting about custody...how does this even work?
I am ready to walk to walk out with my child, but he is telling me to sign my rights over and get out and leave the child with him.
Do I have the right to take our child until a judge decides custody?
He is saying I am entitled to nothing at all, no belongings,money or our child.
He makes well over six figures yearly and tells me I wont get custody because I dont work...(due to him being very controlling during our relationship)...I want out, but not without my child and it seems really unfair for me to stay in this only for my child, like livin a lie. What do I do...any advice is appreciated.
2006-11-11 07:05:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
BTW we live in canada.
2006-11-11 07:05:58 · update #1
Luv, I can tell you this. Most judges in most parts of this little planet, will not take a baby away from its mother unless they can prove that the mother is unfit.
I would suggest not dating until the custody battle is over... Your piece-of-@&$^ ex could use that against you, saying that you bring strange men around your baby.
I would stay with your mother, or with a trusted friend with a decent lifestyle. I would arrange childcare with family members, if possible, and find a job. I would get a temporary custody order, and a restraining order against him.
This is what I see out of your situation. I see that while your ex may love your child, that's not the reason that he's threatening to take the baby away... He's using it as another display of power to keep you and his child under the rule of thumb in his household. Possession is nine-tenths of the law, and if you just leave and go to a relative's house, he can't step on that. He would have to go through the proper avenues to file for joint custody.
If you sign over your rights, you're doing exactly that... You're signing over your right to ever have contact with your baby again. You may not be entitled to the belongings in the house, but you are sure as HELL entitled to your baby's belongings and YOUR belongings.
Talk to a lawyer so that he or she can lay out the law for you, and so that you can see what your rights really are.
2006-11-11 07:53:18 · answer #1 · answered by <3 The Pest <3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, most courts will not take a 2 year old child away from the mother for any reason, let alone "not working".
What he is telling you it that with six figure income he has the means to pay lawyers and keep you in court and in debt until the cows come home.
What you need to do, is go see a lawyer, I'm not positive how it works in Canada, but here in the states you go to an attorney, you file temporary custody paperwork declaring you the only legal guardian and ask for temporary child support for your child until custody is settled by the court.
Then while he is out of town, you take your stuff and you leave. Because you did not bother to marry this guy, but have been living as his wife, your rights may be limited when it comes to community property. Additionally, he can prove he bought the stuf and the court would give it to him. But the court will not allow him to keep your own & your sons personal property, and odds are they would let you keep some other furniture/fixtures, if you take them when you go. I would take it all at once, no go backs for this one.
Use your brain and you should be fine.
2006-11-11 15:17:11 · answer #2 · answered by Gem 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless he got some really good lawyers this is not gonna work he not only will have to pay child support but he gonna have to pay you. Two things #1. He travels he dont have time to sit at home with your son all day without nanies and babysitters #2 he makes all the money so that means he has been taking care of you and he is gonna have to continue until you can do something better go find you a lawyer now so you wont be left behind
2006-11-11 15:10:09 · answer #3 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a jerk, but I'm sure you already know that.
Why shouldn't you be entitled to your child? You're the mother. He didn't give birth.
Just because he earns a lot of money DOES NOT make him a better candidate for parenting.
You could always go to court and argue your point, but I'm not sure how that'll work.
Our society is stuck in thinking that money is everything.
However, is the child happy with him? Then you've got to do what is best for the kid.
This sounds like a really tough situation. I wish you the best of luck. ~ <3
2006-11-11 15:11:07 · answer #4 · answered by Riot Act 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm sorry you're in this situation. have you considered joint custody? usually judges tend to side with the mother but it will depend on your history. money is not an issue. you've been dedicated to your child and i think it's rotten your husband or boyfriend or whatever would say that you're entitled to nothing when obviously, it's you who has given up everything to raise this little one! as for money, you can get child support from him and if you prefer not to go to work-being a mom is a full time job!-then you go for it! you can care for your child best when you are happy, don't forget that. and if it's in your child's best interests that you and the father go separate ways, then you should do that. best of luck to you- you sound like you know what you're doing but you'll be in my prayers
2006-11-11 15:16:48 · answer #5 · answered by green eyed sole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take the child and go to some one you trust to help you (i.e. parents, best friend) and then let a lawyer take care of the rest, i think you deserve the child, and i don't think there is anything you can really do if he is going to be so controlling except get out and get out fast. I hope things work out.
2006-11-11 15:14:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ew what a slime bag he is to want to seperate his child from the mother. eeekk already tells something about his character, you are well within your rights to scoop up lil one and leave. Get out of there. You not working will play NO ROLE in the court room, dont let him tell you that i am 100% sure. good luck, god these things suck. you will be in prayers
2006-11-11 15:08:22 · answer #7 · answered by Aphrodite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have the right until the judge decides custodies. I hope you work things out - peace be with you.
2006-11-11 15:07:45 · answer #8 · answered by einenglander 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi skipperthewhipper, You have every "RIGHT" to your child and his/her well being! Don't let him "bully" or "intimidate" you! Can your parents help you out financially? Or maybe offer to care for their grandchild while you seek aid/training/school or employment oppurtunities? Call "Legal Aid" immediately or your local "Welfare" office. There are resources in your phonebook...USE THEM! These are "FREE" services! I urge you to act soon, before he get's control over you and your child. Everything will work out, if you can be "strong for yourself and your child". God Bless! XOXO Moonpie
2006-11-11 15:18:28 · answer #9 · answered by Metallicamoon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of your child above all. Do what is best for him/her. If you don't work, then he needs to help you out financially. Jsut don't make it harder than it should be for your child.
2006-11-11 15:11:23 · answer #10 · answered by JS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋