is he EVER going to stop?

Question

i'm 7.5 months prego, my boyfriend is bored with his life and likes to "make it more interesting" by doing meth sometimes. although he usually does it every 4-6 weeks, as my due date approaches, he seems to be doing it every weekend. the entire time i've known him, he's done this but i am getting worried because i don't want to have him in the delivery room if he's out of his mind! that might sound mean, but i just know that he'd probably not be any help to relaxing me if he was there and messed up? has anyone had this issue and really, will he stop once the baby gets here? if he doesn't i've already told him, i won't leave the baby alone with him. any advice? experiences? please, share!

by the way, he just takes pills. he says he's never smoked the stuff. i was on the pill and am not the least bit blase about his use of this drug. he's obviously psycho when he's on it...it's the only thing that makes him happy. i just feel sorry that this is my baby's father-he cannot stop even for her and i can't allow him in her life if he doesn't clean his act up. i've let him know many times. but he keeps saying that since he's got a few weeks left, he's going to get this out of his system and then stop. but he cannot say no. he told me last night that he was going to be having a party around her due date and if i went into labor, could he have someone stand in. i was crushed! we mean nothing to him but i'm glad he's telling me this now. we'll be nothing more than a bill to him and he can keep his miserable life since that's all he cares about anyway.

Answer 1

he has to stop now or you should get rid of him trust me i know this from experience with my ex. the problem only gets worse. they all say they will not get addicted but that is not true. you can see now that his use of meth is getting more frequent. a methhead is no good for you and especially not for your baby. i'm not trying to be mean, i have lived this and i know how bad it is. no matter how much you love him you have to give him a choice... you and his child, or the meth.
good luck!

Answer 2

Meth is one of the most dangerous, addictive substances known to man. It absolutely destroys your body, brain and life, and all within a very short time. If your boyfriend has graduated to doing it weekends only, that "means" he does it more than that....he probably is up to 3 or 4 times a week by now...he just doesn't tell you about the rest.

I work in a profession where I see the END result of what meth does to a person. Your boyfriend is walking a thin line thinking he has control of it. If he doesn't stop now, by the time your baby arrives, the pressures of being a parent and dealing with his "boring life" will be the least of his worries. That means he will have to disconnect even more (do meth) and his addiction will become full blown.

I'm concerned at how blase you are about him smoking meth!! In your question, you really down play it. If you were to take a serious stance, maybe your relationship and new baby still means more to him than the meth now...and he might try to stop.

Answer 3

Life more intresting with Meth? Are you kidding? Your going to have a baby with this person? Are you thinking of your future of the future of your child at all? Forget the delivery room...you need to think of daily life. He has a habit...and a bad one that can cost you your life or the life of your child. What are you going to do when he is "out of his mind" and the baby cries and he is there? Will you be able to protect your child from what drugs can do? What if someone calls children's services because they know there's a child with a drug user? You could loose your child to the foster program forever. He needs to get into rehab...and get straight..NOW before you have the baby. Every child deserves a Mother and Father that they can depend on and be safe with all the time...not just whenever. If he won't quit doing drugs you need to find somewhere else to be.

Answer 4

Meth is an addiction just like any other drug. He's not going to stop; not just by you asking him to, or guilting him. In order to truly quit, he will have to go thru detox, experience the withdrawal, and do rehab. He does not need to be with you during labor if he's strung out on meth. It will only make you more nervous and make the labor that much harder, physically, mentally, and emotionally. You need to have support people there with you who have their heads in the game and who care about you. If he's the dad, and I'm assuming he is, tell him that he is welcome to see his baby--when he is clean. Because when he's high, he won't even remember, and he could become very violent. Meth has that effect on people. If you want to let him see the baby, you should be there--don't EVER leave the baby alone with him. Preferaby, you should have at least one other person with you guys as well, in case he gets violent or crazy. If he says, "You don't trust me!", say "You're right. I DON'T trust you, not when you're high. B/c when you're high, it's the meth talking, not you. I love you and our baby too much to put us in that situation." Tell him you love him enough to not want to see him this way. However, if you DON'T love him and you don't trust him on ANY level, even when he's not high, then you need to break it off. Keep him informed about the baby; send pictures, etc., but don't feel like you have to give in and be with him for the baby's sake, because you and the baby will be better off without him in the long run. Find someone who will love you and who's not a druggie! And who will love your child and be willing to be a dad to him or her. Good luck.

Answer 5

Your boyfriend's rate of use could be increasing as your due date nears because his anxiety over the responsibility of being a father is increasing.

Meth is a serious drug, and your boyfriend, no doubt, has a serious problem. His use will not stop when the baby comes. In fact, the complexities of the baby's arrival could cause him to sink even further into his habit.

Your best course of action is probably to put some distance between yourself and the baby and him. Make it clear to him what he has to do-get sober- before he can have the privilege of being a part of your and the baby's lives.

Then, don't see him for a while as he does what is necessary to get clean.

Answer 6

LEAVE HIM WHILE THE BABY'S STILL IN YOUR STOMACH!!! Haven't you heard what drugs can do to anyone? He's been doing it for a while...he's not going to quit...he's going to get worse.
I don't want to be mean but what the hell were you thinking sleeping with a guy who does drugs? Eventually you would get pregnant...Oops, too late for that.
LEAVE HIM WHILE YOU STILL CAN! He's not going to be a good husband nor a good father to your baby. Are you blind? You're gonna have to raise the baby without him. There should be programs by the government or something that can help you get away from him.
If he's a violent man, don't tell him you're leaving. You don't want him to hurt you and the baby, when you tell him you're leaving. So don't tell him nor give him signs of leaving.
Before you leave, you should find a safe place to go where he can't find you. You should leave while the baby's still in your belly. Don't make it harder on yourself by having the baby first then struggle with the baby, when you're in the process of leaving him. Run away from him while you still have the chance. What are you waiting for. Fight your feelings towards him. You can't allow your love for him to keep you from leaving. The baby deserves a better future. He's not going to help you at all. If he wants help, then let him get help on his own, while you live far away from him. Don't live with him while he's in the process of rehab. He can be violent towards you and the baby. You might feel sorry for him, fight those feelings because the main person you should feel sorry for is your baby. Think about the baby's present and future. Make a better life for you and the baby. When the baby's older he/she will understand why you left his/her father. Trust me.

Here's a link you can go to that may help you find a safe home to go to...don't let him read this:

http://www.safehorizon.org/

Answer 7

No he's never going to stop unless he feels like it, and since the drugs feel so much better than anything else, it's unlikely he'll ever wake up and feel like quitting. In case you didn't notice you boyfriend is trying to kill himself, and unless you want to go along for the ride you have to get out, get away, and protect your baby and yourself. That means no unsupervised visits with the child, and otherwise zero contact with him, his buddies, or that sort of druggie/criminal lifestyle. You think the drugs just affect him while he's high? Ha, he's so far gone that when he's off it, he's only thinking about how to get more. That's a drug addicts life. It's not your problem to solve, it's your problem to get away while you still can.

Answer 8

If he doesn't get some help for this, you can't stay with him. You will need to get a separation until he gets off of that stuff. I hope you have some family that can help you with the baby. If not, you are better off taking care of it on your own, than with someone on drugs. Read your question again, and pretend this is your best friend asking you for the same advice. What would you tell her?

Answer 9

My boyfriend of 3 years is a coke addict. I spent a week in the hospital before I had our son, he spent that week getting coked up... when it was time for me to give birth, he came to the hospital on narcotic pills, the day I brought our son home, he left and got coked up, didn't even hold our son.

It's one of the most painful things you can go through, and to be honest, he's been in rehab, he's been in jail, he went clean for a little white, but it seems they always go back.

A baby wont make them stop. You cant make him stop. The only way they will stop is if they really want to. If you have a talk with him, and he starts going through AA/NA meetings, or going to rehab, he might have a chance. But he wont stop on his own, he needs help, and there's nothing you can do for him. You can only guide him to the path, you cant push him down it.

Answer 10

His use is only going to increase until he either gets tired, goes to prison, or dies. Sorry to be so blatant and blunt. However, this is a reality. And you should not be around someone using meth, especially since you are pregnant, If you choose to put yourself int his type of danger that is one thing, however to put the babies life is danger is just crazy. People who use meth are very unstable, even more so than other addicts, they become extremely paranoid and unstable. Please do something to help yourself and your unborn child. Good luck and God bless. You need to leave him.